nalandy Reviews

Iron Mask (2019)

Bait and switch FRAUD!

[24 September 2019]

This is advertised as a movie starring Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger but this is complete FRAUD. These 2 actors play side-line characters, which can't even be considered supporting roles, and appear for a minuscule amount of screen time.

The story is a nonsensical mess and the opposite of entertaining. The actual main actors are terrible and, I am not sure if they are to blame or the dumpster fire script, but calling them B-Movie actors would be a massive insult to B-Movie actors so I don't have the words to describe how bad the acting is.

This movie is not worth going into a more detailed review on, it is just complete garbage and someone should sue the producers for false advertising. Message me here if you want a plaintiff for that lawsuit, as I was unable to get my money back since I live in a terrible country for consumers.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

How I met Chewbacca

[23 May 2018]

TL;DR: This movie works both as an origin story to please fans and as a standalone adventure for someone who has seen none or a few of the films from the franchise. Possibly big movie fatigue had set in as, while I felt like I should've loved this, I did not. Still a very enjoyable experience in an early summer movie season filled with high quality blockbusters.

Edition watched: 3D IMAX

I have to start out by saying that coming on the heels of Avengers: Infinity War and then Deadpool 2, this movie was following a couple of tough acts. I mention this because I felt there was a certain level of "big movie" fatigue. Several of our friends who did every opening showing of Star Wars movies with us previously passed on this showing, and the IMAX had just a few dozen people in it at the premiere showing. Just as contrast, Avengers was basically sold out for 3 straight days in the IMAX (even those front seats that give you wall-eye when you leave the theater).

I think this run of good "big movies" very recently had maybe inured me to feeling the highs of well done blockbusters because I feel like I should've absolutely loved this movie, but I did not love it and I can't point to anything in the movie itself as to why. That said, I still really enjoyed this movie and I do think a wide audience will too.

I found the story to be very clever. It melded several origin-type stories together with the major obvious ones but also several minor ones (and I am not referring to Lando). As a movie franchise fan, I got my money's worth simply in the meeting and development of the Han and Chewy relationship. I both enjoyed and appreciated how it was handled and I did not feel like anything was missing (I have not read books or comics). It wasn't too unbelievably sappy, which is something I was afraid it might be, but it still built a foundation for their future relationship.

As a non-fan, one of us had only seen 2 of the previous movies and she didn't even remember who Han Solo was till we reminded her, yet she liked the movie the best. At no point did any of us feel like the movie leaned on previous knowledge of the franchise and we all felt this worked very well as a stand-alone movie. Two of us were actually disappointed that there were only brief flashes of things which tied into the primary story lines.

I felt that the mix of story and character building with action and tension was spot on, giving that roller coaster felling that well-paced action movies give you. Glover was excellent as Lando and he did steal scenes for me. I found Ehrenreich portrayal of Han, without question a difficult task to appeal to the eyes of a franchise fan, to be at times lacking that roguish air that Ford brought to the role. If I was forced to point to something in the movie as the reason I didn't absolutely love it, it would be Ehrenreich, as few times he just didn't behave like the Han I know would have. Chewy was fantastic.

Inferno (I) (2016)

Good but forgettable (reading the book vs not).

[13 October 2016]

TL;DR: This movie was good but forgettable. Reading the book beforehand is a positive here and you will want to go see it, but keep expectations down and expect a radically altered story with no lasting impression. If you haven't read the book, prepare to be confused, but it can still be an entertaining ride.

Edition watched: 2D IMAX

The largest positive for this movie is Tom Hanks. Hank's role here is a slight departure from how he previously played the role, due to the circumstances that are made apparent from the very beginning (but I won't spoil), and yet he was excellent again as Robert Langdon. Aside from Hanks, the story was muddled but chase-movie action and constant changes of beautiful scenery makes this entertaining if forgettable.

I have read the book (and liked it) and I went to see it with 2 people who had not read it.

For those who haven't read the book, you should know that this is not like the other 2 Dan Brown movies. Those stories dealt with secrets and puzzles from many years ago (hundreds or thousands in some cases) and they had that Indiana Jones for the art history major feel to them. In this movie, all the puzzles are manufactured by a modern day character in the story, so it almost completely lacks that Indiana Jones feel. Even though I had warned my movie companions about this, both were quite disappointed by this aspect.

However, the biggest problem my non-book reading movie companions had was confusion. As someone who knew what was going on, even I felt the way they injected some story elements and then dropped them just as fast was a bit dizzying. Given that this movie was adapted for the screen and had radically altered elements from the book, the handling of the story telling was sub par.

Both of my movie companions felt the movie was entertaining but nothing special. One sentence opinion: "It was OK and I enjoyed it." and "It was OK, let's go eat."

For those who have read the book, in my opinion this movie departs radically from the source material. That said, reading the book is an advantage and might be a compelling reason to go see this. Knowing the book-story means you will know what is going on, even through elements that were not in the book and/or were presented poorly (e.g. skin rash). I found the changes made for a better experience since I wasn't just seeing a rehash of what I had read. That said, among several disappointments, I was looking forward to a Vasari Corridor scene and I was very much let down.

One thing to note, Dan Brown's message was pretty much lost and I wonder if that was intentional? Even the ending, which in the book was used to punctuate Dan Brown's obvious point, is radically changed in the movie. So while the basic story is similar, the actual take away I left the theater with was very different from the book. I mark this as negative because the book made me think about what I had taken for a given, the movie simply entertained me and went away afterwards.

Overall, as someone who read the book, I enjoyed the movie but did feel let down.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Today I learned that a big action movie can be boring

[23 June 2016]

TL;DR: It was actually boring. There was a story here that had potential but it was let down by terrible acting, bad dialog, no story or character development at all and, ultimately, no soul to this one.

3 points for above average special effects, -7 for just an awful movie. Netflix this one.

Edition watched: 3D IMAX

In 1996's Independence Day, Bill Pullman's speech hit you emotionally somewhere. Even if that emotion was disgust, you had a reaction. All of Will Smith's one liners made you cringe or laugh. No matter how much you may deny it publicly, Randy Quaid's end put a lump in your throat the first time you saw it. There was soul to that movie, even though it was an ensemble cast, characters were developed, the story progressed and there were heroes you cheered for and aliens you despised.

None of that was present in 2016's Independence Day. All the new actors were either bad or terrible. I didn't care if the aliens won or lost. Not only were the new actors bad but some of the dialog they were forced to work with was just terrible. Jessie T. Usher's character has a few key lines that are supposed to hearken back to those emotional one liners from Will Smith in 1996, such as: "Welcome to Earth!". Yet Usher delivered those lines in such a deadpan, soulless way that made me wonder if he thought he was supposed to be playing an emotionless android. Then you have my favorite emotionless android actor Brent Spiner, who is someone I know to be a quality actor, yet the dialog and scenes with him were so bad I had to wonder for a second if all his previous work was done by a twin.

I could go on, but the acting and dialog were just parts of the problem. There was no character development at all. They simply tried to cram too much into this movie. From the constant pandering to a Mainland Chinese audience (unnecessary scenes that should have been used for any kind of plot or character development) to Vivica A. Fox's minuscule screen time, there was too much shoved into this 120 min movie which ended up making it a big mess that went nowhere. In the end, I formed no attachment to any of the new characters and was detached from old characters that I once cheered for.

The most damning thing though is, despite all the explosions and this alien invasion, there was no excitement. I was bored. There was a girl in front of me texting and using FB messenger and I found myself involuntarily lifting my 3D glasses and reading her text chain and messenger thread till I caught myself and put my glasses back on. Her inane chatter about how boring this movie was, her cat, the guy she was sitting next to and so forth were more interesting to me than the movie on the huge IMAX screen was.

As a huge fan of alien invasion movies, I walked out feeling like this was such a huge opportunity wasted. If you told me the basic story of this move yesterday, I would've been ecstatic to see a trilogy. Now I hope the 3rd one dies in production and they put the money to a Battle Los Angeles 2.