xanitra Reviews

V/H/S (2012)

Worst movie of all my lifetime

[1/10 · 29 August 2013]

Worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Total waste of money, total waste of my time. Movies like these should be burned, and shown to people who need to learn how NOT to make a movie. If you read this thinking you want to watch this crap, consider yourself lucky, because you were just convinced to watch something else.

There is no plot whatsoever, just a bunch of short stories, or short films about bizarre murders that happen for no reason at all. So please for your sake and others, avoid this. I'd rather be tied to a chair and watch teletubbies for 24 hours straight than to have to watch this movie again.

Funny People (2009)

Adam Sandler, get a grip man.

[2/10 · 4 December 2009]

Uhm. I am not quite sure what I just wasted 2,5 hours on. The only thing I know is, it wasn't good. It wasn't even comedy, it was mostly drama. But if you are gonna pull off a drama flick, at least get somebody who can act the part. Adam Sandler was awkward at best, in most scenes. The rest of the cast did an "ok" job, but this movie is based around the main character that Adam Sandler plays.. This role demands a good actor, as many scenes demand some kind of response from the character Adam Sandler plays.. But Adam Sandler gets his money by looking dumb.

I know Adam Sandler can do better than this. Wedding Singer was awesome, and that too was a drama / comedy thing. That is his best movie in my opinion. Happy Gilmore is of course his second best. But lately he has just gotten worse... this movie sort of confirms that tenfold.

Another negative thing was of course the length. The movie takes 1 step forward, 2 steps back in terms of story as well, all the time, throughout! With Adam Sandler, sleeping through the whole thing as well, it all makes it so much worse.

So bravo Hollywood, another crap movie. Well done.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Transformers boo!

[2/10 · 6 July 2009]

I will not write a long review, since there are so many other reviewers speaking the same language as me. But as you may have figured out, the legacy of how sequels are worse than their original continues. Transformers 2 not only sucks really bad, it does so in a whooping 2,5 hours. I don't recognize at all the series and one movie I fell in love with back in the 80s. Lame decepticons, even more lame autobots, story is awful, the acting is even worse. The only thing which is partly OK is the score, which sometimes drives the action more forward than everything else on the screen put together. I'll just leave it at that. The whole product sucks, from beginning to end. Not the worst movie I have ever seen, but being on my top 10 list of worst movies ever, can't be good.

Michael Moore Hates America (2004)

Hmm

[3/10 · 30 November 2008]

Micheal Moore hates America as this movie likes to call itself is a mockumentary on the documentary "Bowling for Colombine" by Micheal Moore. If you are going to make a critique about somebody's waffle, by making another waffle. Please make a waffle that isn't so bland and utterly boring. I don't care much what ingredients Micheal Moore uses in his waffles, as long as it isn't the same ingredients used in this waffle right here.

Come on, I watch movies to be entertained, not to hear some dude tell me how wrong a movie is for being entertaining. And with that said and told, I don't believe for one single second that Micheal Moore hates America so much as the producer of this movie wants him to.

Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future (1987–1988)

Why hasn't this been released on DVD yet?

[9/10 · 10 June 2008]

Yup, that is what I am asking. I mean for us who enjoyed the 80s not only for its music, but also for the cartoons, CPATSOTF was like a relief in many ways, because it was a real show, with real actors, but with the cartoon feel that Transformers had. Although CPATSOTF is a little bit of Mask as well, and no, I do not mean that mediocre film with Jim Carrey.

Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future had an amazing story set around a group of heroes which of course it is to save the world from these beings that "digitize" humans. Hehehe, something we can today do with a scanner, or a cheap digital camera. But digitizing in this show means feeding the biodreads, with.... well, you probably get the idea of how corky the idea seems now.

But a well executed cast, good villains, some impressive effects (yes, even today), and excellent music, makes this a series to remember, and which deserves a DVD release.

Return of the Ghostbusters (2007)

The Ghostbusters feeling return.-

[10/10 · 31 May 2008]

First of all, a bit about myself as the reviewer: I have a huge respect for Ghostbusters as a brand, and as a phenomenon. I am a HUGE fan of both Ghostbusters movies with Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, and Sigourney Weaver in leading roles, and have a huge respect for them as actors and performers. The first movie being my favorite. I am also a fan of "The real ghostbusters" which was a cartoon, with great music, atmosphere, and good stories to help feed my Ghostbusters hunger. But of course it is the movies that I love the most. I am 29 years old. The last movie came out in 1989, and I want more..

Return of the Ghostbusters is a movie made by a group of fans of the original Ghostbusters movies (1 and 2). It is made by a group of fans, with a budget of a little under 10000 dollars or something like that.

Dan Aykroyd, "the man with the plan" has stated many times that there will not be a third Ghostbusters movie. Never ever. So a group of fans took it upon themselves to make a third one. This movie tells the story of a completely different ghostbusters unit located in Denver. I am not going to say anymore than that.

So why should you see it you say? You don't believe in fan movies, or you just don't think that this movie is up to par with the actual original ghostbuster movies? Well, for those of you who really believe that, don't see this movie. But Dan Aykroyd could have said like "maybe in the future", or "hmm would be cool to do a third one" instead of "NO" all the time. Fans tend to get a little crazy. We don't want to hear "no." We are like kids in a sense, in that we have a craving for something. Let's call it sugar. To me, Ghostbusters is sugar, and I want more. I guess that is why this movie exists. So it is any good? Well the acting is not top notch, as it is played by fans, not actors. But the acting is far from bad, and for some reason gets better as the movie progresses. Nonetheless Neil Anderson delivers a brilliant performance throughout as the "bad guy." I got a tear or three in my eye on one occasion in this movie, and I actually couldn't believe myself. This movie has managed to keep very strong to the original material, and added some new twists into the formula to honour the new decade. The soundtrack, which mixes a lot of music from the first movie, with a completely new written score which is absolutely amazing, helps that good old Ghostbusters feeling return, which has been gone a while. And last but not least, the script, and the story are very well written. The famous Dan Aykroyd did say on one occasion that there never was a third movie because the scripts were all bad.. . Well there you have it.

I recommend this movie not only to fans, but for all who are interested in movies in general. If you tell yourself that this is made by fans, and does not come from Hollywood BEFORE you see the movie, I can 100% guarantee you that you will have a good time. It only goes to show that people in general love movies, and good movies even better. I'll burn this out on a DVD, and put it on the shelf with Ghostbuster 1 and 2, and write a big 3 on this one. Thank you very much, BraxtanFILM, I had a great time:D Rock on!

Cloverfield (2008)

Hold the camera steady, please

[3/10 · 19 March 2008]

This is the sort of movie where I really don't understand why it was so important to take the Blair Witch Project approach to filming. I mean, sure it is a cool effect. But it was cooler in Blair witch. Cloverfield, despite the clever name is nothing more than another take on Godzilla. I wasn't disappointed, no. But I wasn't exactly thrilled either. This is one of those movies where you come out of the cinema and say to yourself "ok...." and forget the whole thing a short time later. I know you others who probably went to this page on IMDb, probably think this movie is top of the barrel, and can't believe that an actual person in real life would bother to review the movie if this somebody didn't think it was that hot. But anyway, there you have it, my five bucks, or five minutes anyway.

Doom (2005)

Complete waste of space.

[3/10 · 14 May 2007]

OK firstly, Rock on Rock! Not! I've seen "the rock" act far better than this. The man can't act, but still, I've seen him in roles where he actually can do a better job. Here he just wreaks. But come on. Let's bring in the real deal: The Doom games. All of them, are very good in their own right.

This movie doesn't do the games justice. In fact, the movie has little to do with the demonic and yes sometimes satanistic nature that is presented in the games. Instead the movie chooses to focus on internal struggles within the main characters themselves, and we don't get to see the opening of the gate to hell like we were all looking forward to see.

Long live ID Software that brought us the games!!! This movie gets credit from me for trying, but the movie is uninspiring at best. Even if the movie had nothing to do with Doom, and was called perhaps "Rock, suck, and two smoking brain deads", the movie still just manages to be so interesting that I managed to watch the whole thing while yawning.

If you are however fan of the Doom games, buy the DVD if nothing else than to watch the documentary included that is made by ID Software themselves which talk about the games, and ONLY the games.

Miami Vice (2006)

the acting, oh the acting.

[1/10 · 4 February 2007]

This is the movie with the worst acting I've ever seen. No, not the worst movie I've ever seen. But the worst acting, by the two main characters in this movie goes to Miami Vice. (Applause.) Will the guy with the long hair, and the other black guy with the attitude come and receive their trophies please.

Glad this was only a rental. I would have hated myself if this movie actually filled space in my movie collection. The actors look uncomfortable in every scene they are in, but after the death of Alanzo or whatever his name was and seeing the reaction on the actors faces, I just couldn't take it anymore. 15 minutes is all I endured, and I too deserve an Oscar for that feat.

Fulltime Killer (2001)

Wow! Best movie I've seen since, like, a long time!

[10/10 · 27 January 2007]

I have discarded Hollywood for a while, and turned my eyes on to the East. Here in Scandinavia, a company called Asion Vision has released a bunch of DVDs from Asia. This movie is from Hong Kong. Fulltime Killer is one of them. Fulltime Killer is the best action movie I've ever seen.

It's got all the action you'd come to expect from movies like Resorvoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, and Assassins but doesn't underestimate the audience with bland script, and terrible plot. This movie really is something else, where you don't get the "aha" sensation, before the very end.

For us guys, plenty of action with +100 IQ points inserted, and for the girls there is a, well, a bit twisted lovestory. But a lovestory it is.

See this movie!!! If I could write a letter to the guys that made this, and say "thank you" in Hong Kong'ish, I would... But this review will have to do. Ah, I am going to see this with my wife soon who hasn't seen it yet. I can't wait! YeehaA!!