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Reviews
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
the first decent horror film of 2024?
Hype around this one has been buzzing for what seems like years, and i'm relieved to say it's mostly warranted. To distill a review down to its most basic form, this film is actually F U N and entertaining. Ya know... how movies used to feel? And to my shock and surprise the filmmakers even managed to write an ending. (something missing from nearly every film i've seen this year)
the plot synopsis tells you everything you need to know, and while the recently released trailer does reveal perhaps a bit too much, the experience still feels fresh and you're happy to be along for the ride. Some overly-ham-fisted acting (defenders will say intentional) does ding the film a couple of points, but overall this was one of the most enjoyable movie theater experiences i've had in a while. *even my wife loved it, who is not typically a horror fan* strong recommend.
You'll Never Find Me (2023)
wasted potential
Great first act of tension building and mysterious intrigue... starts to lose itself pretty quickly and by the final act it's a complete and total mess with zero resolve. There seems to be this recent trend of writers just completely unable to create an ending. In this case it feels a bit like they not only ran out of ideas, but budget as well- as the finale just ends up being a disjointed pile of cheap horror imagery. Great performances, and there's probably a movie in here somewhere that could have been great- sadly it just feels like it has no idea what it wants to be, and never recovers from the confusion. Ends up being a waste of time unfortunately.
The Swimmer (1968)
one of the most uniquely effecting films ever
A masterclass in surreal introspective, somewhat experimental filmmaking, the swimmer is quite unlike anything i've seen. It ranks among my favorite films, and has endless rewatchability. (i've purchased both the blu ray, and digital versions over the years, and revisit often)
deceptive marketing / movie poster one liners don't do an ounce of justice in accurately representing the film on display here. At once nostalgiac meditation on one's youth, while also disturbing retrospection regarding regret and the past one can never escape; and simultaneously showcasing a man's descent into madness and his ever loosening grip on reality.
Yes there are moments that feel a bit dated for modern audiences, but the themes on display are forever universal and certainly ones we can all or have all related to. (particularly as we get older)
to reveal too much would ruin the experience, but if you've not seen the swimmer, it can best be described as fever dream, feature length twilight zone episode. Highly recommended and one of the most underrated films of modern times.
The Nest (2020)
Like Watching Ugly Paint Dry
Not psychological, certainly nowhere near thrilling, this slinks along leaving a dull uninteresting residue as it meanders on for the runtime. While the performances are good, it's one of the most anticlimactic "thrillers" i've ever yawned through. Plot and backstory for the antagonist / husband is too vague and underdeveloped to be interesting to anyone involved, and the same applies to the son.
His character arc seems to tease at the supernatural, ever so minuscule in its attempts, but again is never explained or developed. And if you're hoping for an ending, or the slightest bit of resolve, well guess again - they couldn't figure that one out either. Is anyone able to stick the landing in movie making anymore? Are we done thinking total ambiguity is intriguing or thought provoking? Write an ending!
I watched this after the iron claw, which i really enjoyed; as i wanted to see what else the filmmaker had done. This is clearly a case of the sophomore slump, and nearly put me to sleep.
They Called Him Mostly Harmless (2024)
Sad People Search For A Lousy Human
Not a particularly interesting documentary, certainly a completely underwhelming not-even-a-twist ending.
Sad lonely losers exhaust their time and waste their lives searching for a missing person on the internet; who turns out to be a POS. This is a microcosm of the entire social media community. Basement dwelling losers finding faux authority and power while nurturing narcissistic delusions through moderating groups and chat rooms online. You feel sorry for pretty much the entire cast- save for the main character; who again is just another loser who didn't wanna be found because of his shady past.
I thought i expected more from hbo / max.. then again after the cringey natalia stories, maybe not so much.
Eileen (2023)
seems no one can stick a landing anymore
Solid performances but dreadfully boring and complete lack of a 3rd act. Only thing remotely "hitchcockian" about this film is the retro style opening title card / credits. Have not read the source material, but i imagine if the story is the same then it's just as weak of a book. Honestly writers nowadays need to start with the ending and work backwards because as it stands it seems no one knows how to stick the landing at all. As is, this ends up being nothing more than a waste of time. Surprised this was picked up by Neon as they usually seem to have better judgement. I can't even say it's "worth a watch" as it really has no redeeming qualities beyond the decent performances.
Enys Men (2022)
worst of 2023 thus far
Less interesting than watching paint dry. Amateurish shots, total absence of writing or story, devoid of scares or even mood really. Almost put me to sleep. Around halfway through i just started browsing my phone which i honestly never do watching a film. Any hype on this mundane snooze fest is clearly director- generated or bought and paid for. Movies are a visual medium, i get it and also often enjoy slower plots enveloped in stunning sights and sounds (beyond the black rainbow comes to mind). Frustratingly dull, achingly slow, without an ounce of redeeming qualities. Certainly the worst film of 2023 thus far.
Demonic (2021)
unbelievably bad
I don't often leave reviews on imdb, but holy cow this movie was astoundingly bad. It doesn't even feel like a real movie, more like an episode of a lousy tv show. Silly story, worse dialogue, poor performances. Not remotely scary for a so called horror film, just misses every single mark. Maybe the "how did this get made" team will find it and at least turn it into something entertaining. As it stands, it's completely boring and void of any entertainment value. How DID this get made?
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
holy god this is awful
It's almost worth a watch to witness just how terrible a film can be. Honestly, it's like Saw meets The Room. Tailor made for a future How did this get made episode. Literally: how did this get made? Who OKd the takes / performances? Plays out like a high school theatre production.. just absolutely awful. "wooden" would be a complimentary description of the "acting" on display and the dialogue is even worse. Saw jumped the shark years ago, this is offensive to it's already bloated worthless corpse.
After Midnight (2019)
insufferable
I guess rotten tomatoes scores are now just bought and sold, as this thing is sitting right around 100%. this film is nearly unwatchable in every regard. the acting is awful, the dialogue is laughable, the characters basically insufferable. then there's the "creature". wow. one of the dumbest films i've ever seen and i'm not sure how it's gotten distribution or release. there's "low budget" or "indie" and there is amateur garbage like this. nonsensical plot, inexplicable character choices: (head over heels girl in love disappears one day to the exotic wilds of *miami* in search of wine and sushi?) anger inducing waste of time, avoid at all costs.
The Nightingale (2018)
abhorrent violence for the sake of violence
I've maybe walked out of 3-5 movies in my lifetime. i made it about 20 minutes in this one. endless gratuitous rape and abhorrent violence does not propel a story forward, and their use as plot devices come off as nothing more than shock value. this is a surprising failure after the subdued and restrained psychological horror of the babadook. cinematic trash, a huge disappointment.
The Field Guide to Evil (2018)
tedious and unbearable.. if you manage to stay awake
Couldn't make it past the second "story"- absolutely banal trash. no real plot and certainly not remotely scary. this should not have been made. it's an overall waste of money and resources. if this constitutes "original horror" no wonder garbage like the pet sematary remake keeps winning over the dullards.