This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Kenneth Branagh's portrayal of Hercule Poirot was lifeless. (What happened to the facial scars from his war service, by the way?) All he seemed to do was stare at people with an annoying smirk on his face. The film awkwardly segues from a speakeasy in which Gal Gadot appears in the doorway, wearing what seems to be an aluminum foil dress, to a steamboat cruise on the Nile with the same main characters. No one in this movie can act except, perhaps, the stunningly beautiful Emma Mackey. However, she has little material with which to work. One wonders why she is obsessed with the bland Simon Doyle, woodenly portrayed by Armie Hammer--other than the fact that he is supposedly a raging stallion between the sheets. I kept falling asleep during the movie and had to replay sections that I'd missed. However, it was hardly worth the effort.
Reviews
7 Reviews
A Lion in the House
(2006)
Needless Suffering
18 August 2022
The documentary. Itself, was beautifully done. I was so angry, however, at some of the parents who put their children through needless suffering in order to postpone their own grief. Alex, in particular, comes to mind. She was such a delightful little girl, but her father tortured her with pointless treatments that did more harm than good, especially towards the end of her life. The oncologist who used her as a guinea pig to research new therapies should have lost his medical license.
Legends of the Fall
(1994)
Cheesy
18 August 2022
Embarrassingly bad, cheesy macho man stuff for teenage boys. There's a reason that Henry Thomas did not go on to bigger and better projects after this silliness. He is probably the most wooden actor I've ever seen, with an emotional range between A and B. Anthony Hopkins balances out Thomas' bad acting by overemoting throughout the movie. I'm sorry I wasted my time on this dreck.
Disappointed
14 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I was in a constant state of tension during the first two-thirds of the movie. The last third was a huge letdown. The movie devolved from a psychological thriller into a cliched story about a coven of evil witches, complete with a goat as the devil and an old woman who takes on the visage of someone young and beautiful to lure the unsuspecting to her hut. It was a ridiculous end to an otherwise good movie.
Skip It
15 August 2021
This movie was entirely predictable from the opening scene until I gave up on it after an hour of trying to keep my eyes open. The acting was stilted and, at times, laughable. There was zero chemistry between the wife and her lover. Their intimate scenes lacked passion. They seemed embarrassed to find themselves touching each other. I am not a Shailene Woodley fan, but I hoped she might surprise me in this role. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
Bling Empire
(2021–2022)
Superficial
16 February 2021
I watched the first four episodes of this. That was enough. With the exception of Anna and Kelly, the rest of the cast members are shallow, self-involved name droppers who know the prices of everything and the value of nothing.
Mom
(2013–2021)
A Complete Waste of Time
30 September 2017
**May Contain Spoilers**
This is one of the worst shows I've ever seen--dismal, unfunny (despite the obnoxious laugh track), and desperate. Alison Janney and Anna Faris must have been badly in need of employment to accept these roles. Alison Janney looks awful--long, unkempt hair that drags her face down and thick rings of eyeliner on her lids, which is pretty much all you see when you look at her face. I have no idea why TV Land bought this series (of course, this is the same network that brought us the terrible "Younger" and "Teachers"). They run ads for this series almost nonstop throughout the day. People tune in to TV Land to watch classic television, not dreck about sex-obsessed singles, inappropriate teachers, and drug addicts. Please stop subjecting us to the worst that TV has to offer.
This is one of the worst shows I've ever seen--dismal, unfunny (despite the obnoxious laugh track), and desperate. Alison Janney and Anna Faris must have been badly in need of employment to accept these roles. Alison Janney looks awful--long, unkempt hair that drags her face down and thick rings of eyeliner on her lids, which is pretty much all you see when you look at her face. I have no idea why TV Land bought this series (of course, this is the same network that brought us the terrible "Younger" and "Teachers"). They run ads for this series almost nonstop throughout the day. People tune in to TV Land to watch classic television, not dreck about sex-obsessed singles, inappropriate teachers, and drug addicts. Please stop subjecting us to the worst that TV has to offer.
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