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tddiscodriver
Reviews
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
The magnificent seven in space.
Simple farmers look to hire some fighters to defend themselves against an army who want to steal all their harvest. Sound familiar?
Bland, soulless, unoriginal, some dog awful dialogue, wooden performances no excitement and absolutely no humour. Found myself looking at my watch wondering how much longer will this drag on for.
I felt nothing for any of these characters, after all the hype this was a damp squib of a movie.
The kindest thing I can say about this movie, it was very disappointing.
I know the original draft was as a Star Wars story, rewritten when it was pasted over, and thank dog for that or we could have had a different bad Star Wars movie.
Just so bad. Bad, bad, bad.
Hawkeye (2021)
Spoiled little white girl gets everything she wants
I like to sit down and binge watch a show from start to finish in 1 sitting. If its good, time flies by and leaves me wanting more. Hawkeye is sadly not on of these shows. Firstly the title is wrong, it should be The Kate Bishop Shop. The fact that its made for TV had to tone down Hawkeyes very dark past of government assassin, with a couple years of personal loss fueling his casual murdering campaigns.
We meet grown up Kate as she destroys a clock and bell tower on the grounds of her private expensive school, and her only punishment is her mother telling her she was going to have to pay to replace, rebuild it. Expelled? Kate Bishop does not have to take responsibility for anything. And this is the real problem with this show. She gets herself into a bit of jam, Hawkeye comes to her rescue and instead of being grateful she just thinks its all a game and pours petrol on everything Clint is trying to do for her.
Its hard to watch a show when one of the main characters is so irritating and your shouting at the telly for Clint to just let the track suit gang have her!
This is not a binge worthy show, a new episode drops every week and thats about as much as i can take. The character of Hawkeye deserves better writing than this , he is being treated like a cartoon side kick in his own show. Hawkeye is a dark character with a complex past, but here his just been made a joke, and not in a good writing way, its lazy inoffensive, bubblegum, lightweight dross.
And why does Clint only have 1 hearing aid? He has 2 ears!
Invasion (2021)
Must have been written in the dark because this is slow going.
In the first episode we follow a sheriff on the day of his retirement, who in the last scene of the episode gets killed. Why introduce a character if all your going to do is kill him off in the pilot episode. Silly and lazy writing, just filler.
A female employee at JASA who's girlfriend is killed when the Japanese Shuttle blows up gets fired when she discoveries the shuttle collided with something.
A wife finds out her husband is cheating on her and was about to talk out on her and their 2 kids. They decide to leave their house when something hits their street. Where are they going, what are they doing? Turns out these people aren't all that nice when the wife steals the car of a young family and leaves the parents and their 4 small kids stranded at a service station.
A sensitive boy with tablet controlled epilepsy is bullied at school. He has a drawing book with portraits of a girl he likes and drawings of visions. He of course goes on a school trip to Wales without enough tablets for his time away from home. He then stands up to his bully.
A soldier in Afganastain having marriage problems is the only survivor of his squad after engaging a large 3 legged alien.
Oh yes the show is called "Invasion" about an alien invasion but after watching the first 4 episodes there has been less then 30seconds of actual aliens.
What we have here is some very lazy writing, full of unimaginative cliche, devoid of any original ideas or humour. And my dog its slow, my nails grow faster than this plot unfolds.
Its an uninteresting relationships melodrama that apparently has aliens in it.
Without Remorse (2021)
Way to butcher a great book.
The first Tom Clancy book I read way back in 1996 was "Without Remorse" and I was hooked. Tom Clancy was a smart story teller full of detail and character.
So I was looking forward to watching this. What a disappointment. This movie has NOTHING and I mean NOTHING to do with the book. The title could have been "Just another bad action movie"
The story is weak and makes little sense.
Plot holes you can drive a truck through.
Average acting might be forgiven because of the woeful script.
There's so much wrong with this movie it really was insulting to watch.
Kelly is shot in both shoulders and in the abdomen, but when he takes his top off before the prison fight he doesn't have a scar on him. He has limp that comes and goes throughout the film.
Tom Clancy must be spinning in his grave. This is pure diarrhoea, don't waste your time with another Hollywood mess up of a great book.
Read the book instead and learn just what a badass the real John Kelly was. You'll never look at a decompression chamber the same way again!
Geostorm (2017)
cant give it less than 1 star
Thankfully I did not pay to see this movie. World weather is changing so mankind decides to build a satellite network around the plant. Dealing with air and water pollution, planting trees and dealing with greenhouse gasses is sexy enough, just imagine the carbon footprint to build this network and control space station just to control the weather caused by greenhouse gasses, or maybe not
This system was built internationally but the US has sole ownership for the first few years until it hands over ownership to the international community.
And look NASA has shuttles again, a whole line of launch pads side by side and carparks close by as well. I suppose no one pointed out that the sound vibrations of a shuttle take off are to put it simply - dangerously destructive.
You know what, there was so much wrong with this turkey its simply to much. I like science fiction and there even better when based on fact, but this was ridiculous,
And a giant space station that has a self destruct that goes off in stages, I would have walked out of the cinema if that's where I saw it, but I am at home late at night, could not sleep so I watched this tripe, I am however ready for bed now, so that's one good thing about this movie, guaranteed to numb your brain to sleep.
Bad,
Stupid
Ridiculous
Awful
Tripe.
My rating is no stars but cant give less than 1
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
I really wanted to enjoy this, what a let down
I was looking forward to seeing this one since the first trailer was shown on IMDB bur what a let down. All the best bits in the movie were in the trailer.
The pace was slow and the movie was just to long.
There's a few times when the cast refer to things as being in a movie, the first time is them Chief Robertson and Officer Paterson and driving in their patrol car and the Chief is asking why the song on the radio is so familiar and Paterson says its the theme song of the movie.
Characters enter the story for no reason, for instance 3, 20somethings drive into town and end up dead, we don't see them attacked or anything, pointless characters that brought nothing to the story.
We are introduced to some kids held in a juvenile detention building, what for? who knows, they bring nothing to the story and the last we see of them is running off screen because they know somewhere safe. Pointless characters and waste of film.
Zelda Winston the towns new mortician is very strange, she can wave her hands over the police damaged computer and radio and they suddenly spring back to life, she then writes some computer code before heading to the graveyard where she is beamed up by a flying saucer!!!!!
Back in the police car Chief Robertson and Officer Paterson are talking and Robertson askes Paterson why he keeps saying "this wont end well?" Well its because he read it in the script.
This movie is not well written enough or funny enough to poke fun at itself and I was just irritated by them.
I didn't care what happened to these people, to much time was spent on pointless characters that brought nothing to the story.
A zombie movie needs to be 1 of 2 things, it has to be funny or it has to be gory, and this was neither.
To long, to boring, to irritating, a little to weird and utterly pointless.
Red Dawn (2012)
This is science fiction and very very bad science fiction
I finally sat down to watch this, I was expecting it to be bad but nothing prepared me for just how big a pile steaming cow manure it would turn out too be
OK. North Korea invade the US, a country that cant feed its self or produce electricity to light up the whole country is some how able to invade the whole Pacific coast of the US. With some help from the Russians who provided "hardware and aircraft".
The invasion starts with paratroopers dropping on the city of Spokane Washington from what look to be Antonov AN-12, and 1 been shot down from a low flying F-16 (One just one, slow moving plane on a steady heading). I'll stop here for a minute just to point out a few things:
Distance from North Korea to Spokane about 5170 miles, flightpath would have been over main land Japan and no one noticed hundreds of slow moving Soviet/Russian military aircraft heading East?! I say Soviet aircraft because the An-12 was produced from 1957 - 1973 in the Soviet Union. A total of 1248 were produced and exported to several countries around the world, North Korea was not one of them.
So everyone in Japan was asleep and didn't see hundreds of planes in the sky over head heading East, the An-12 can carry about 60 paratroopers, fully loaded has a range of 2236 miles and a cruising speed of about 300miles an hour. Flight time from North Korea to Spokane just over 17 hours, not including weather consideration and having to refuel at least twice along to way. So now lots of An-12 and now refueling aircraft are flying across the Pacific and no one saw them, radar did not detect them and they manage to reach Spokane.
Wow, the audience is really meant to be stupid.
So our heros seeing paratroopers dropping from the sky jump in their pickup and go charging through their neighbors back yards and crash sideways into captured US Army HUMVEEs. Boy these North Korean guys work fast they are still falling from the sky and they already have wheels and they even remembered to bring North Korean decals to stick over the US Flag on their new HUMVEEs, these guys think of everything!
Spokane seems to be the one city in America where no one owns a gun!
What happened, how did this happen? Enter Jeffrey Dean Morgan after about an hour to give us an explanation and boy what a story, The US was hit with a "New Class of Weapon" that causes a massive electrical pulse that took everything off line and never came back. EMP is not a new weapon and its not new science. And military hardware such as Ships, Submarines and aircraft can be protected or "hardened" against such weapons and are.
Cities were taken out with "tactical non nuke warheads" fancy way of saying bombs. YOU MEAN BOMBS Jeffrey.
One might think he is talking about the Aviation Thermobaric Bomb of Increased Power nicknamed the "Father of All Bombs" (but I'm only guessing) for sure will ruin your day but one is not going to destroy a city, so are we to believe that Russia carpet bombed several US cities?
And then we find out the North Koreans were able to protect their electrical equipment with and special laptop in a briefcase!!! Of course it makes complete sense now... what the f£%k
This is so bad on so many levels its a real slap in the face for anyone who has a little bit of common sense. Its bad and really lazy writing, its nonexistent science physics and devoid of and fun or humor.
Its not just silly and stupid, its offensive in the way it treats its audience and maybe that's why this was Dan Bradley first, only and hopefully last time he will ever be allowed to direct a movie. Stick to being a stunt coordinator Dan! PLEASE
In a nut shell, really bad.
How It Ends (2018)
Boring
I watched this with expectation, but it was very disappointing and boring. Lots of exterior shots of the car driving through the countryside I was beginning to think it was a car commercial.
So something strange happens on the West Coast, power goes out country wide and all communications except for short wave radio is affected.
The father and boyfriend drive from Chicago to Seattle to rescue the fathers daughter.
At one point the 2 come across a derailed train carrying army vehicles, HUMVEES, tanks and other fighting vehicles, but not a single soldier in sight and no explanation as to why the train derailed.
They have some car trouble along the way and convince a young female mechanic to leave the relative safety of her reservation for $2000 and drive with them towards unknown danger.
It drags on, the father dies, the mechanic leaves and the boyfriend finds the girl before the movie ends with the 2 of them driving trying to outrun a pyroclastic flow.
We're never told what happened, its utterly frustrating, badly written, unbelievable and just bad.
Grey's Anatomy (2005)
Pure fantasy.
I hate, hate, hate this show. If your going to make a show about what goes on in a hospital then make a good one and not this tripe. A hospital that only has surgeons with no physicians or nurses. There no one nurse character in season 1 and she had the clap.
And all surgeons know everything, everyone is a cardiac, neuro, GI surgeon, what ever is needed they can do it.
I don't know who writes this god awful shite but it's someone who has never been in a hospital.
Oh and the white coats, the walking infection transporter, no one washes their hands.
Pure fantasy and not in a good way, their is so much wrong with this show, but I'll just say it's bad, really really bad!
Line of Duty (2012)
Highly recommended well worth your time
I came across this show on Netflix one night, the general rule for unknown shows is to watch the first episode to get a feel for it before considering watching anymore. Life's to short to waste on bad TV.After the first episode of this show I watched the entire season 1 that same evening. Season 2 the following day. Because there's only 5-6 episodes a season the story moves along quickly, The acting is excellent the stories are well written you can't see where it's going and it's highly addictive. If you plan to watch it give yourself time because you probably won't just watch one. Because the suspects are coppers and know the system and how to play it, it makes for a gripping time. Do yourself a favour and watch it first episode and get cooked. Enjoy
Bite (2015)
What a pile of
To long Slow Nothing horror about this, just horrible Don't waste your time with this it's 90 minutes of your life you'll never get back. Dreadful just dreadful It makes you wonder who wrote this nonsense and then convinced someone that spend good money making this god awful steaming pile.