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Reviews
Road House (2024)
Out House of Road House
What a horrible movie. I didn't like any of the characters. I didn't like the story. I didn't like the music. I didn't like the bar. This movie should have been named 'Out House' because it's where you go when you want to take a dump. There's absolutely no resemblance to the classic 'Road House' with Patrick Swayze. The fight scenes were ridiculous. Conor can NOT act. He's all swagger and delivers his lines like if he's reading from cue cards. They introduce so many characters and have no time to flesh them out. I can now see why it's straight to the bargain bin at Walmart because it would fail big time in theaters. Save yourself some time and watch the original 'Road House' instead of getting dumped on in the 'Out House'.
Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023)
There will be monsters in your monster movie, right?
So I just finished watching Episode 5 and I am not impressed. I was hoping much more than a teen melodrama for modern audiences.
There are two reasons why I've kept watching it. Kurt Russell and Godzilla are what drew me to the show and so far neither have been used much in your monster movie.
If I wanted to see a bunch of kids wandering around demolished buildings I would have watched some Urban Explorer videos online. I had to start/stop Episode 5 quite a few times because I kept losing interest so much I chose toI watch grass grow and paint dry.
I'm going to try my best to finish watching this season but I'm not holding my breath.
Do better.
Talk to Me (2022)
I Liked the Ending but That's It
I give it 3 stars for the ending but all the characters are insufferable.
This is another movie where there are no positive role models or father figures. Are the 'kids' suppose to be teenagers? They look too old for the roles. So instead of drugs they get high from letting an evil spirit enter their body? Where did the 90 second rule come from? Was that from trial or error?
Anyone who rated this over 4 Stars is either a friend or family member of the cast or hasn't watched very many horror movies. They have this montage of everyone trying 'The Hand' and getting 'high' which is so annoying I had to turn down the volume.
Overall this is a movie you watch with the volume turned way down while listening to grass grow.
This scores a 1/10 on the 'Rewatchable Meter'.
Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
Monster Mash-up
What do you get when you borrow scenes of Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, The Abyss, Titanic and then add Evil Corporations, pollution and tons of CGI?
If the 1st installment was Meg-lien this would be Meg-liens. It certainly has plenty of action, bad dialogue and paper thin characters... but who cares?
It is a blast and exactly what I expected... only better. The only issue I had was it's release comes right on the heels of the recent Titan disaster and some of those scenes were really close to the mark.
If you're looking for a simple popcorn movie to waste a couple of hours with then this is the ticket to just turn off your critical thinking and roll with it.
Halloween Ends (2022)
I'm waiting for a fan film which will contain all 3 movies
The best part of this was the opening title sequence with the morphing pumpkins. I watched it for 'free' on Peacock so at least I didn't pay to watch this. There are absolutely no likeable characters in this ending. This would have played out better if they didn't even include Michael Myers and made it an installment anthology similar to Season of the Witch.
It just seems like some of the scenes and transitions were disjointed like a lot of story was left on the cutting room floor.
I definitely got vibes like this was a tribute to 'Christine' but not nearly as well played.
The finale was horrible. First you have 2 of the female protagonists kill Michael with knifes and then you have the whole town march him down to the junk yard to have him ground up like chuck roast.
Absolutely a terrible conclusion to this terrible trilogy.
Prey (2022)
How to Kill a Franchise
Mary Sue's Getting Out Tonight
What a waste. This is a perfect example of 'get woke, go broke'. Here we have a 90 pound female kicking the bejeebers out of other Native Americans then we see her take on 15 buffalo hunters. But wait... then she takes the 'magic herb' and renders her invisible to the advanced civilization with high tech weapons. For the encore we have her doing flips and jumping around battling the creature who is 3 times her size and 5 times as strong.
In conclusion, what a waste of time.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Trailer Park Dominium
I see I'm the 'bad guy' again, you know, the evil stupid bumbling white male.
This movie was... (pick only 3)
a. LONG
b. Diverse
c. Catering to the Alphabet Soup Nazis
d. Boring
e. Cash grab
f. Plotless
g. Pointless
h. Ridiculous
In summary... wait for this to be free on late night cable and you require a sleep aid.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Kills makes Resurrection look Good
What a disaster. Unneeded character development. Terrible acting. Flashbacks. Cringe dialogue. Gays in the Myers' house. Yes that's right... a gay couple living in the Myers' house. White mob chasing down and killing a special needs man. Girl Power! Horrible script. No suspense or dread buildup. Stupid people doing stupid things. Bringing sticks to a Michael Myers fight. More flashbacks. Discussions on who Michael hates more. People running aimlessly. The End.
Hopefully it will be another 3 years before we see 'Halloween Ends'.
Unhinged (2020)
Cops are the bad guys
This is so unrealistic. 'Orca' Crowe killing and crashing everyone and everything in sight and the cops are nowhere in sight. Even when she calls 911 to report the SUSPECT is right behind her the 911 operator tells her everyone is busy with a crash that Orca created. Many bad decisions and one of them is ME watching this waste of time. Slimfast is the answer.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
Full Season Review of Trek Mediocrity
I'm suppose to choose if this review contains spoilers.
Yes it does. It stinks.
The End (hopefully)
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
My favorite scene was...
I agree with all the other 1 votes and won't regurgitate them here, however, there was ONE scene that made me smile. Rodan fighting and destroying the jets, one pilot ejects and Rodan chomps on him. Just like the original Rodan movie from 1956!. That was a nice homage...
Save your dough and wait for this in the dollar bin.
Walking Out (2017)
Male Bonding
I liked the film. There was just enough male bonding that didn't go into the sappy world. Do you know why there are no women in this film? OK... there was 1 woman but she filled a minor role. The guys would have fed her to the bears when she asked for the 1000th time 'why don't you stop and ask for directions?'
The Mist (2017)
The Smoke Monster
I've watched all 4 episodes and here's my take:
1. Every person is a known stereotype
2. Every person is really REALLY stupid
3. No monsters (just bugs)
4. They could have packed all 4 episodes into a single 30 minute segment and still had time to include 2 monster attacks and a food fight
5. Stoners will find ways to get into trouble ...and lastly...
It's good to see the Smoke Monster from 'Lost' finally get another gig