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Ticket to Paradise (2022)
Awful. Predictable. Tired
An annoying American couple go to Australia, not Bali, and are rude and won't stop stop bickering like 8 year olds.
The rest is ridiculous. Julia Roberts does her wide-mouthed "signature" laugh in every second scene. The ensemble cast looks mostly Thai or islander.
It's filled with immature, unfunny ninsense and assumes that we'll find it charming just because of who's on screen.
The gnawing arbitrariness of Ticket to Paradise cuts to the heart of why the Hollywood rom-com has been so deficient for so long, often turning to outrageously silly premises just to throw some obstacles in the way.
Can You Keep a Secret? (2019)
Why do film makers keep making films....
...about unbelievably annoying GenYers?
"A young woman spills all of her secrets to a stranger on a plane when she thinks it's about to crash. She later meets the man and discovers he is her company's new CEO, and he knows all of her humiliating secrets."
Right from the beginning I wanted the heroine's plane to crash into the mountain. She's stupid. She's annoying. She's self-involved. She's a drama queen. This is supposed to be a movie about the heroine "confronting herself". She doesn't. She revels in her dysfunctional, self-made dramas and inflicts them on every person she encounters.
As parents, we have raised two whole generations of failures. This is on us.
The English (2022)
What was Emily Blunt thinking with this dog?
A ludicrous plot (a female English peer frolicking, avec corset, about in the American wild west); endless expositions by illiterate cow folk/bandits about the meaning of life; long-winded diatribes that, for no reason, were delivered Soto voice; first nation people speaking in deep south accents; towards the end Blunt was speaking like Marilyn Monroe in the Natasha Lytess years - all overenunciated consonants and whispery inflections.
Blunt seem confused as to whether she was an English peer, a suffragette or a 21st century feminist. We are expected to believe that a Victorian-era peer had sex with a working-class, syphilitic weirdo and gave birth to a syphilis-riddled son (apparently, we can't use the word "son" any longer; it must be "boy" for some stupid - one assumes - woke reason) who then died because he was "brave" or "had heart" or something equally as mawkish.
I could go on, but I cannot be bothered beyond saying that the Miss Havisham ending was beyond ridiculous.
Pistol (2022)
Tiresome. Trite. Posturing masquerading as achievement.
The Sex Pistols were an English punk rock band that formed in London in 1975. Their initial career lasted just two and a half years. The series is as uninteresting as their music. One thing is clear: They were the original boy band. An invention of Malcolm McLaren's.
It's a series based on a soundtrack with a few dramatic scenes to cobble it together, created for the Boomer and GenX nostalgics.
Battleground Melbourne (2022)
An accurate and balanced account
..of what happened to Melbourne. For the first time in Australia's history, Victoria descended into a violent police state; diseased with government overreach; and characterised by a compliant middle class that just did as it was told by a power mad state premier who's only interest lay in promoting the interests of his union and business associates.
Hopefully they are all going to jail.
Death on the Nile (2022)
Pretentious, silly, inaccurate, pointless, not funny and sometimes ugly
Ridiculous representation of one of Christie's most funny, witty and sharply observed works. Branagh has completely destroyed Christie's classic whodunnit of superb structure, pace, character and mood. The ingenious and unparalleled plot is completely lost by the silly woke posturing, French and Saunders being utterly unfunny (with dumb accents) and the acting a tribute to the Instagram generation of ridiculous emotions.
Read the book or watch the previous movies of the book. A much better use of your time.
Californication (2007)
Good thing Tim Minchin can play the piano
I finally got around to watching Californication and love it so far except for the really cringeworthy performance of Tim Minchin. He really cannot act, can he nor can the woman who played his wife. Australia has exported some incredibly good actors. These two are not that.
Vikings: Valhalla (2022)
Boring and silly...
..with endless woke posturing and idiotic 21st century themes. It's like a group of Millennials got into a room and thrashed out how they could re-write history to make it more sensitive to people's feelings.
Black Mirror: Striking Vipers (2019)
15 minutes in and...
NOTING has happened. A couple of black dudes reminiscing about the university days and jive talkin'. Are we supposed to care that they were once friends and now aren't? 30 minutes in and still nothing has happened. Turgid, dull, plodding, snoozefest.
Manifest (2018)
Interesting idea that devolved into idiocy
In the tradition of The Returned, a plane lost for 5 years returns with passengers on board frozen in time. The first season went well, the paranormal rules for return were tight and the soap opera story arcs fairly well controlled.
Come season 2, everyone was special, everyone was a crusader and everyone was crying.
The story arcs became ludicrous and evil-government predictably quickly and a confusing array of previously unheard from characters kept appearing off the plane.
By the start of season 3 I didn't care if the kid got killed or the emotionally frenzied scientists lost the plot. I just didn't care. And why was that family always crying?
Not an original idea, admittedly, but could have been executed so much better.
Wish You Were Here (2012)
Like sitting next to pissed idiots in a pub....
...and overhearing their moronic conversation. Plot follows: Three people who should never be allowed to breed try to do adult things and fail. Reminds me of one dreary summer I spent in Byron Bay, finishing a Masters degree and writing a lot in cafes. Overheard so many braindead conversations being had by so many dimwitted half-hippies.
How does tripe like this get funded?
Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life (2016)
Agreed- awful show with awful shows. Question I have:
What happened to Lauren Graham's face? It's only nine years since we last saw her, but face looks like she's been having chemo - bloated and jowly. Why would she do that herself?
Clarkson's Farm (2021)
Two episodes in and I love it.
We were city kids, as were our parents, but my parents (dad) inherited two Western Australian cattle stations and (mum) two farms. Takes me back to our childhood on the farms and stations where nothing EVER goes right EVER. Great fun, but also shows how skilled and dedicated one must be to successfully farm.
The OA (2016)
Self indulgent, drawn out twaddle
America should just stop. Stop looting and burning its cities, stop lecturing to the world on how to run itself, stop making up idiotic award shows featuring silly women in silly dresses and stop making anything other than dumb romcom violent movies and movies where Bruce Willis saves everyone.
What is the point of this show? The world has come to expect, and maybe even relish, the periodic parps of self-indulgent twaddle that happen every time America veers away from fluff or violence. American "thought provoking TV" is like listening to a Russell Brand podcast - rambling, self importantly conscious, overly adjectival and ultimately pointless.
Emily in Paris (2020)
Americans should be banned from making English period dramas or...
...anything at all about Paris. As much as the actors did a great job, at its core it is an inept, cliche-ridden story edited together in a treacly and obvious manner. Americans are notorious for telling other cultures how to act, think, behave and, worse, feeeeeel whilst completely ignoring the problems in their own gun tottin', looting, violence and sex obsessed culture. This mess is no different.
Thank god we all have Americans to save us from ourselves and to impose their idiot, woke nonsense on us. I wonder how the French have survived for so long without their help.
Sleeping Beauty (2011)
Self. Indulgent. Australian. Claptrap.....
....reminiscent of the worst of Jane Campion's offences. Tiresome. The Australian Film Industry wonders why Australia won't support it. Here's why.
Soupçons (2004)
Don't commit a crime. Your defence attorneys are barely adequate.
Anyone who thinks defence attorneys are slick, competent, law literate and supreme tacticians should watch this doco. Don't commit a crime: These bumbling clowns are what you will pay bushels of cash to defend you.
The Rental (2020)
More annoying millennials
I've almost at the point of not watching anything with a storyline about superior, puritanical, entitled, mind-numbingly stupid, revolutionary to the point of nihilistic, whiny millennials. Let's hope GenZers turn out better. They're the only hope for the planet.
Bridgerton (2020)
Absolutely appalling drivel.
I can't.....I don't know where to start. The stupid premise, the idiotic plots, the characters speaking in Jamiacan-mun accents of the English upper class, the effusive costumes................what's the point. If you liked this twaddle, there's no hope for you.
Pine Gap (2018)
ProChina ProCCP Twaddle....
...typical of the tripe Australia's public broadcaster, the ABC, peddles. Apparently the US, Australia's strongest and most reliable ally since WWII, is just a well-funded and lucrative warmonger, persistent only in its goals of thwarting other countries by its only means - threats of war.
The persistent and courageous efforts of Australian citizens and organizations to transform conflict and sustain peace in their own countries count for naught against the US's implacable thirst for conflict. Apparently, the US can only see China and the CCP as dangerous when we all know that they're just misunderstood, cuddly kittens.
Netflix, you should be shot for peddling this pro-China and pro-CCP propaganda. What is wrong with you?
Geostorm (2017)
Pretty GeoPoor
What happens to usually very good actors that they end up being this bad? The script was Stars Wars The Last Jedi awful and didn't give them much help, but I've seen Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess and others do so much more with less. It's almost like a spoof of a disaster movie.
Extinction (2018)
Another review about the annoying children...
Stop putting everyone in danger and do as you're told. When your mother tells you to stay in the wardrobe to avoid the robo-slimy-growly-zappy thing then DO IT. Honestly, if those children were in my doomsday movie they'd be staked out and fed to the android by the time the first simper left their noisy gobs.
RSA Shorts: Dr Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability (2013)
The Call to Courage
I cannot tolerate this woman; she's a charlatan. She started the talk objecting to having a "white guy in a suit", that this would be the "last thing she'd want" on the cover of her book. Think for a moment if she had said the same about a black guy in a suit and the social media shriekers would have gone wild. This is the longest, most tedious TEDTalk never to appear on YouTube.
I don't believe that her negative social media comments were largely about her appearance and not about her cherry picking of "tens of thousands of pieces of data". Constructing an inaccurate but plausible narrative is much easier when you can cherry-pick from research that no one has read or will ever read which then she blatantly ladles with lashings of Oprah-style axioms.
In the wake of the popularity of Peterson, Rubin, the Weinsteins, Pinker, Murray et al her lightweight content seems almost 90s quaint. Far better to stick with them.
Equity (2016)
Plodding and dull
Casting of the women was wrong, the plot took forever to develop and the dialogue was waffly and cliched. Anna Gunn is an awful actress for this role, much better suited to suburban housewife roles than a slick, sleek professional woman. The assistant seems more like a bank teller than an aspiring master of the universe. Had the casting of the female roles been better and the script tighter, it could have been salvaged.
The House of Eliott (1991)
Wonderful BBC period drama
Its only drawback is Stella Gonet's awful, smug, toe-curling and overwrought acting. I wonder if the series was cancelled because of successive director's inability to get anything other than hysterical facial expressions and over enunciations out of her. Phew. What a relief to finally say it out loud.
Shame they couldn't because, regardless of some of the unlikely plots and the occasional laughable conintinuity, it was an excellent series.
Don't watch the French and Saunders spoof, though. You won't be able to watch the series twice.