hoodieJ Reviews

The Horde (2009)

Zombie Apocalypse

[8/10 · 3 September 2009]

La Horde is probably the best action film of the year. It doesn't work as an out and out horror but it is a balls out insane action film. The plot in cops and criminals join forces in a tower block as the End of Days happens and the dead return as bloodthirsty aggressive zombies. If you like action brutal, bloody and violent then see this. The plot isn't anything original but this film has verve by the bucketload. The scares are good and the tension is slowly built higher and higher. The only complaint is that the ending isn't clever despite being different.

Go see it if you love robocop/28 days later/dawn of the dead.

Great fun.

Night of the Demons (2009)

Can someone give this film a clue?

[2/10 · 3 September 2009]

Film 4 frightfest premiere 'Night of the demons' is all over the place as a film. Unfortunately it tries to be a teen comedy and a scary horror. It fails spectacularly at both. The gore despite being brutal is quick and can barely be seen and the scares unoriginal. Everything that happened in the film felt like the director was constantly winking at the audience. If this film was so self-knowing then why did the characters descend into parody. This film was all over the place. It wanted to be Scream and Friday the 13th. There is the worst exposition you'll ever see when the demons are explained. But I think the director thought he was being funny. I just thought it was stupid. The bad taste was totally misjudged, there were some scenes which were so over-the-top, yet everything else seemed restrained.

'Night of the demons' is a very odd film. See it only as a curio of why modern horror has gone badly wrong.

Shuttle (2008)

Tries to be different but ends up the same.

[3/10 · 18 March 2009]

I found 'Shuttle' an incredibly frustrating film to watch. It starts quite well and moves along briskly until the first 'injury' (which is a doozy). After that it becomes very lazy and underwritten as a story. It was the case of the plot driving the characters and not the characters driving the plot. If you hate film where you can't understand why characters do what they do, you will loathe 'Shuttle'. Particularly, the last act is odd and seems to occur in a world without common sense. Also at the end one of the characters confessed a past misdemeanor to her friend, rather than generating sympathy from the audience, most people started to giggle. This was probably because the 'heroines' of the story was a complete idiots. Finally there is an ending which just seems tacked on to be 'shocking' and comes from the horror cop-out school of 'people are bad, audience, so just accept it without any explanation'.

'Shuttle' is neither good or bad, but mediocre. And annoying.

Vampire Killers (2009)

90mins of nothing much really

[2/10 · 18 March 2009]

This film isn't intelligent (even is a cool post-modern kind of way). If you are a braying idiot who just likes base humour, you'll be in your element. It would be unfair to say this was badly acted or made. It isn't. The film is called 'Lesbian vampire killers' so the most important thing is.......it has to be FUN. This film is not. It is dull. It even fails as a party movie. When I saw this I really wanted to like it, but it's just so badly written and so misjudged that i feel kinda sorry for it. If it's aiming for tits and arse jokes, why are there barely any tits and arse? The protagonists spout blue jokes all the way through the film, but the violence is slight and childish. The lesbianism is virtually non-existent. I guess the makers were aiming for American pie meets Dracula but everything is so toned down that it becomes totally unbalanced. Like an episode of 'Goosebumps' but with two swearing cretins. Actually that description makes it sound better than it is.