El-Pata Reviews

Black Mirror (2011– )

Stop at season 5 - WARNING

[8/10 · 23 June 2023]

It hurts me to see what Netflix did to this absolutely brilliant show.

Just finished season 6 and I am baffled.

3 of 5 episodes have nothing to do with the show theme of digital dystopia, they are just some 'stories' , here a demon, here some murder story and here a werewolf.

The one with the werewolf is utter rubbish, filled with poor script, poor dialogues, bland and shallow narrative - it felt like being forced to munch a lemon for 45 minutes, ouch.

I don't know what is happening there, but Netflix goes downhill. The one show that I loved turned into some twisted pathetic version of itself.

Do yourself a favor, yes, watch seasons 1 to 5, but then consider it closed. Or live the disappointment.

The Diplomat (II) (2023– )

Another one...

[1/10 · 29 April 2023]

Another cringe serie showed our throats from Netflix front page.

Knowing Keri Russel from the great The Americans we started watching this one.

An embarrassing mix of cliches, stereotypes, poor script, poor dialogues, political correctness and tasteless scenes.

Let me explain; Keri Russel is a 'real deal', she doesn't care about the looks, she's gonna be the US ambassador in London, so she looks like she didnt know how to use a hair brush and has 1 set of clothes. Else you would not understand this nuance, she cares about the cause, not the looks!

Of course there needs to be a scene when Keri's husband almost gets driven over by a car, because he walks onto the street not looking right, because the cars in UK drive on the left side! Just in case you didn't know it.

Hal Walker sniffing his wife armpits what a delightful scene - but wait, this it to show you that they are REAL PEOPLE, like you and me, just in case you didnt know it!

Then of course, the new ambassador cannot be seen with XX, some party represenative, because 'she is the kind that woud make a racist look like a nice person' ... hahah There must be more, but I just could not go on with it.

Downgrading my Netflix sub to the HD one, as seems Netflix picked idiots as their main targets, so I guess I'll still clean the backlog of things worth to watch there before leaving.

Having Netflix for over 10 years, i'm just astonished with the rubbish they turned.

Hostel (2005)

Disturbing yet a gem in the genre

[8/10 · 7 April 2023]

The movie is very graphic and the topic makes it extremely disturbing.

This is a warning. I can well imagine people simply turning it off due to the content.

Yet I place among the top in the genre for it's realism and how it affects the viewer - it feels it with genuine horror.

The fact there is nothing supernatural in it, just human nature at its worst makes it just more terrifying.

There has been the movie 8mm around, which was for me almost equally disturbing and even though different genre and topic I appreciated both for similar reasons.

They moved me, made me really anxious with a feel - such thing could happen.

I don't understand the overall poor rating of it here on imdb.

You don't have to be a sick pervert to appreciate such a movie for the reasons above.

I think it is really one of the best in the genre, even though when I think it makes me shiver in disgust.

Human nature doesn't lack on its dark side and this movie exactly touches that field.

It is very very disturbing but that fact alone is no reason to take the merit from the director he dared to make it.

"Enjoy" at your own risk.

The Night Agent (2023– )

Life is too short

[2/10 · 7 April 2023]

Netflix again throws at us some sub rate rubbish serie.

It took us 20 minutes of the first episode to turn it off and remove from the watch list.

During those 20 minutes we burst few times laughing, mind this is not a comedy, so this tells.

After the main female character reaction to the news about the death of her aunt and uncle "but people loved them so much" (argh!!!!!! Who wrote this idiotic line????) we had it.

I wish Netflix stopped wasting monies on producing such rubbish - if they keep offering telenovela level junk, maybe they should also think about cutting their prices because bumping into such series makes me willing to rethink the rationale behind paying the premium subscription rate.

Of course there is still plenty to watch, but I can't believe the audience of Netflix has such poor taste or is so little demanding that this production pops as the top 10.

It becomes also tiring to spend time looking for something decent to watch, just because the ratio of poor production keep increasing by Netflix.

It comes to that I am specifically while browsing looking for movies/series without the Netflix logo.

It is kinda sad, there was time when I would not pay attention to that.

Life is too short, don't waste your time on that one.

The Last Days (2013)

Missed opportunity

[4/10 · 28 February 2023]

Post-apo genre is one of my favorites, so when I checked a short preview text for this movie I was really excited to watch it. Lots of very good, small productions do not reach the broader audience, which is a pity.

The construction of this movie, alternate between flash backs and the ongoing action pretty nicely builds up the plot and makes the movie enjoyable and intriguing to watch. It is all fine until the script writers / director decided to add to it a bit of 'spice', which made it look just silly.

The whole population of Barcelona has been stuck indoors for about 3 months.

Then the main protagonists meet in some church and fight a bear?

The population of a shopping mall, divided itself between floors and turned into some wild, blood hungry tribes? Using even camouflage paint?

After only 3 months of post-pandemic reality??

This was so ludicrous to watch that I found myself cringe and embarrassed. Cmon.... It seems to me the script writer was short on ideas and filled the gaps with this silly stuff.

Pitty, because overall the theme is very attractive and the proposed variant was interesting to explore.

I will surely never watch again, but despite the relatively low rating I give, it is still an enjoyable movie.

The Northman (2022)

Ugh!!!!!

[2/10 · 23 February 2023]

Great photography, truly. Often breathtaking sights and just stunning.

But that would be it.

No idea how this movie can rate so high. I rarely switch off movies, but I could only bare one hour of it. Glad I didn't go to the movies to watch.

The movie has lots of pretension, artsiness mixed with naturalistic violence but is literally boring, script is poor and offends your intelligence.

Skyshowtime has it, so you can find out for yourself.

Shocked by so high ratings of this rubbish got me intrigued and I went to check out other Eggers' pictures.

Ended up watching The Witch, which is absolutely brilliant. Go watch it instead.

The Lost Patient (2022 TV Movie)

Mediocre at best

[4/10 · 3 December 2022]

1st I need to mention I am annoyed by Netflix flagging it like a "top 10 movies", which intrigued me and made me watch it. My main interest was to watch some good french movie, to stay in touch with their cinematography and practice the language. Each year Cesars are warded. I wish Netflix made an effort and got licensed 2-3 of nominees and not flood us instead with mediocre productions.

I would not trash this movie as some people did in their reviews, but I would definitely not recommend it to anyone - for the sake of saving time. There are tons of better movies out there and life is too short.

The movie has some nice touches, but aside from being per moments really boring it is made so, that at some point, say 75% of it, if you pause and reflect, you will know the ending, since there is no other way the plot could go to.

Save your time and find something better to watch.

Toon (2016–2017)

Unexpected pleasure

[8/10 · 12 February 2021]

Totally unexpected small production turned out to be a brilliant portrait of modern society and its flaws. Started watching it in order to dust my dutch I didn't use much for a while and to my surprise I found a little gem. Socially awkward Toon gets dragged into the modern showbusiness despite his desperate tries to stay away from any attention and public exposure. Charming , ironical, thought provoking and a very enjoyable watch. Don't miss it!

The Devil Next Door (2019)

Shameful

[2/10 · 23 June 2020]

There is no excuse for ignorance when talking about such a sensitive topic like World War 2 , Holocaust and all the suffering that ravaged the globe in that period. Putting a post war Poland map labelled 1939-1945 with all the camps listed in its borders is purely offensive to polish people and an ugly manipulation. Poland was under German (not Nazi, stop naming things wrong) and Soviet occupation in that period and did not operate as a free country, despite its government in exile; later on betrayed by the Allies submitting to Stalin demands on influence split.

Netflix needs to think through doing such "documentaries"; it was very interesting to discover several aspects of this story but the script/editing sacrificed documentary duties for the show. As I read that Demjaniuk testimony took few days; minutes in the serie. His testimony, the bits chosen feel like coming out of the blue and totally confuse the viewer. It seems several interviews , shot during the making, refer to some evidence, facts that were omitted in the serie. Leading the viewer pondering "And where this is coming from?" (whole aspect of what Demjaniuk claimed he did during the war etc It looked like things were cut during the editing of the serie without paying attention how this will affect the understanding and the getting of a full picture. Can't rate this serie better due to the above. Never joked about the war, Holocaust and this serie feels like a bit of a joke. Stay away or be prepared to seek other sources of information.

The Unthinkable (2018)

Disapointing

[4/10 · 18 July 2019]

I started by this title my review of Gerardmer 2019 film festival. It got there the Jury price and critics price. I thought enough to make it worth to watch. The movie has some nice shots. I am not an expert, but I was pleased with views, music and they way it was filmed. Now where it comes to the story, it starts very intriguing and keeps the viewer hooked till the moment the absurdities and dullness starts. Probably some hour into the movie. I had a few "what a hell, seriously??" moments and I could not really believe that I am seeing a movie rewarded on this festival. There are movies that are made in a specific convention and not realizing it flaws the critical approach. Here I don't see a problem of a misunderstood convention. It is simply a poor writing resulting in a mix of thriller/conspiracy dramma/psychological dramma and an action movie. A poor choice and mixing which like mixing of some food can make the consumer feel sick, it made me so after watching. The pro ; the shooting which again I stress I liked and the fact that I got now an opinion about it. I would not recommend it to anyone. Just hoping the rest of the festival movies do not come close to the low level of this piece of a movie.

Osmosis (2019)

hmm wasted potential

[6/10 · 1 April 2019]

Watched it almost in one go. Enjoyed it overall, but is hard not to notice some far fetched storyline shortcuts or not finished plotlines. Is the final an opening for continuation or just a sort of artistic ending? In the final episode, the "infiltrated" beta tester goes to the Osmosis headquarters to plant a virus on the brain super computer ; this fact alone she can access it without being bothered, followed then by her soulmate boyfriend Simon also not bothered by anyone is ludicrous - an example of a poor, understatement, writing which spoils it all. In general enjoyed the whole idea but it seems like rushed and cut to keep the 8 episodes formula. Pitty.

Supercondriaque (2014)

A good laugh

[8/10 · 16 July 2014]

For someone who likes french humor and who tries to stay in touch with the french culture it will be a good laugh. Dany Boon is as usual excellent and hilarious. Do not get fooled by relatively low rating of the movie. I can only assume subtitling could be mediocre which is often an issue in the versions for foreign audiences, especially when it comes to translating humor. If you know or learn French, even better for you. The movie manages to play with the language in a matter you won't be able to not burst laughing. While it isn't a masterpiece and sure is a light, not specially ambitious movie; it delivers exactly what from a comedy is expected. Lots of laugh, silliness and relaxation. For those who didn't get enough I recommend " Nothing to declare"

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

Argh.........!!!

[1/10 · 29 August 2013]

It is rare that a film lives up to the book, quite understandable. Any spectator & Harry Potter reader is aware of it. But how much you can indulge? I don't comprehend how Rowling could agree on this script. The movie is a disaster. And I see Kloves get the job for the next part as well? If I was a producer I would not give the dude any job ever again. From a magnificent plot tailored by Rowling he managed to make some atrocious and puzzling B rate movie script. Obviously cuts leads to some alteration of the original plot. Still things make you wonder and frown, or even worse, you want to scream "what the f**!" Why on earth the shy, mysterious and rather subtle Krug was made into a testosterone pile of muscles? His romantic relationship with Hermione stays, yet it is made completely ridiculous – listen to that and hold on your chair firm, at some point Hermione tells Harry (about Krug) : victor is more of physical being.not particularly loquacious. WTF???????? You won't see a trace of house elves, thus the whole Barty Crouch Jr plot was altered. You won't hear about his relation wit his father, you won't hear his confession explaining various mysteries accumulated along the storyline. And best of all, he pops in 1st scene of the movie, in the room where Voldermort is discovered by the old housekeeper. In the scene when Harry experiences Dumbledore memories Crouch Jr isn't even on trial (wtf?) . He's denounced by Kharkaroff and appears like a possessed fanatic shouting and screaming... Raping the plot isn't the only thing Kloves managed. He also managed to add stuff of his own (God forbid him ever write a script again) – like the 1st task scene where all sudden the dragon instead of guarding the eggs comes off flying and chasing Harry all over Hogwarts. 2nd task, since there is no Dobby, brings Neville giving Harry the gilliweed, apparently a rare ingredient, which of course Neville got outta nowhere. 3rd task is a joke, NOT ONE creature appears in the maze, just wind and mist. No sphinx, no spider, nada. The movies is full of bad written scenes and things happening deus ex machina. Harry finds Barty Crouch dead (again creative touch of Kloves... sigh) and goes to tell about it Dumbledore, but never actually does! (lol?) The 2 schools arrive at Hogwarts, a scene of cheering and interested looking students, yet the tournament wasn't even announced. You won't see an inch of quidditch except a short glance on teams entering the stadium during the world cup. Of course , no Veelas either, which rapes in its turn the whole Fleur Delacourt intriguing charm aspect. Hagrid brings Mme Maxime to show her the dragons, she shouts ' Magnifique!' while you don't see any dragon yet, they are in crates and only then few moments after break out... Karkaroff is showed entering the room with the goblet of fire, yet his involvement in the plot is never revealed. We are to think that he did put Harry's name in it. If he didn't , why he ever entered that room so sneaky way at all? Fact that Karkaroff runs away after the 3rd task is not even mentioned. Dumbledore runs and shouts like an enraged nazi... When Harry talks to Moody in his room, the chest moves and shakes suspiciously (hint for morons added by Kloves) We got a dancing lesson scene, not in the book, which Kloves obviously found of more added value that all the things he shamelessly cut out already. Weezleys don't appear for the 3rd task at all. There is no argument, no developed scene between Dumbledore and Crouch which would explain what problems will be facing Harry, Dumbledore in the next part. Rita the paparazzi, animageus? Nope, you wont even know. I pity people who came to see this film, not having read the book, because they might be confused and lost, and I pity all HP fans for having endured this. If Reader Digest rewrote Harry Potter, it would be not bad as this. And from what I hear the next part is even worse. Read the book, it's fantastic. Watch the movie at your own risk. Few weeks passed and I still can't shake the disbelief you could make it so bad.

World War Z (2013)

Waste of time

[3/10 · 29 June 2013]

I like Brad Pitt, he's done some amazing movies. I was surprised he agreed to bring his name to such a poor production. I am always looking forward to all kind S-F apocalyptic pictures and I was dragged by the trailers to see this one. The movies has some amazing shots, specially the epic scenes of zombies invasions, but that would be it. I would recommend it for a rental, for those hardcore fans who find pleasure in tinny details. As a whole the script is poor and in many occasions the lack of logic, simple stupidity or naivety irritates. Pitt is on a highest importance mission in Corea while his life and of his teammates is put in jeopardy by a phone-call of his bored and longing wife? lol? Pitt injects himself a random virus which happens to be the one that works as a ' camouflage cure' ? Israel happened to foresee the coming apocalypse and built a wall because their intelligence intercepted chatter about ' zombie' while the rest of the world just awaited their doom? etc There is a ton of it. A real waste of time.

Trespass (2011)

Ouch, why

[2/10 · 1 February 2012]

It always makes me wonder how a director who's accounted for some really good movies comes to produce such a C-rated flop. Cash problems? Only explanation I can imagine. If not for the names of Nicolas Cage & Nicole Kidman, no one would probably bother to risk a penny and go to the theater to see this movie. Now, if you got really nothing else to do, it's watchable. Check for yourself how bad a movie can be. There have been hundreds of similar, only difference, they didn't bring together Kidman & Cage. But if you value your time and you prefer that the name Schumacher relates in your mind to some of his good pictures, then do yourself a favor, don't bother. Also, warn your friends before it is too late. I did bother and I regret having done so.