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5/10
Nothing left in the tank
8 May 2024
Great effects but weak storyline. The franchise is kaput. Only the last 20 minutes has a glimmer of inspiration. The natural outdoor forest settings were hard to take seriously as it was Aussie bushland! The original ape stories all took place in the USA so why are we now in the Australian bush? Apes in Oz? There were also many other anachronisms sprinkled throughout the film: why some things rusted with time but other things vital to a weak plot didn't etc. The human characters didn't have consistent real personas. The ridiculous farewell scene reminded me of a Simpson's joke, but it wasn't intended to be funny. I won't spoil it for you.
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Tarot (I) (2024)
10/10
Surprisingly great film
3 May 2024
The film gave me a great sense of satisfaction at seeing horror fully mature as a legitimate genre and not just B grade trash. The photography was brilliant and at times subtlety artistic: for example, a brief full screen image of the sky with only the evening star shining at dusk showed unusual artistic sensitivity. The main players were refreshingly likeable unlike in most horror films. Usually we're glad to see the main players die, but this time their likeability threw the evil characters in full relief. The evil was palpable, unthinking and insane. There was also an interesting back story cleverly woven into the storyline. The cruelty of the rich explained the present unspeakable horrors.

The action also uniquely didn't all take place in the inevitable haunted house but spilled out into roads , bridges, elevators and the city.

Accidental humour included the runniest nose in cinema history, played by a beautiful actress of Indian extraction. It was literally a running gag. Each monster was also very well designed.
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7/10
Bizarre Japanese humour
22 April 2024
Get ready for that strange100% incomprehensible but endearing Japanese humour. That same feeling of incomprehensibility permeates the serious scenes too, where things happen that are so far removed from Western sensibilities that the viewer does rapid fire "double takes" while uttering "huh?!?Nothing quite makes sense to normal Western sequential logic.

This constant sensation of sudden u-turns in logic reaches an astounding fantasia-like crescendo where the fate of the world balances on a tiny kid needing to have a poop while hallucinating about an old man poop God with a butt load literally starting to exit his long johns! I forgave the film it's failings at that point for its sheer audacity in totally dispensing with any semblance of Western thought patterns.

The audience is catapulted into the Japanese mindset throughout the film like Alice down the rabbit hole where nothing quite makes sense anymore.
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Abigail (2024)
8/10
Better than expected
18 April 2024
The usual collection of very annoying and unsavoury victims (puns intended) interact with Abigail in a sadomasochistic drawn out bloody ballet of cat and mouse: that's a mouthful.

There is humour, but of a very dark red kind. It's not as funny as you are led to believe by the slightly inaccurate previews. The ballet for example is not overdone but medium rare. Oops!

Abigail is a good mix of innocence, evil genius and gruesome cannibal. She is, in comparison to the crappy victims, the good guy! We never feel any pity for the victims, but we do for Abigail even if she gets slightly injured. Even her Dad, Dracula, isn't such a bad guy, if fed.

The film only lost points with notes of unreality in the actor's performances, particularly their reactions to terror. One of the actors was clearly a weak Schwarzenegger clone without the humour. The sociopath character did a very good job of "utterly repulsive" psycho.

The set was also interesting and didn't go overboard with any kind of traditional Dracula's castle. Instead the producers chose a mock Gothic palatial home from the 1920s era.
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8/10
Awkwafina saves the film
17 April 2024
The exquisite colour displays of previous productions was lacking. Generally colour was more subdued, which wasn't as effective.

The movie was saved by the voice and fox character inhabited by Awkwafina. She was funny, petite and agile; plus acted as the perfect balance to Pandas huge bulk. Her feminine style touched subtlety on the theme of Panda's closeted asexual side in a clever way. The unspoken theme of Po's sexuality came very slightly to the foreground in an intriguing way.

Awkwafina is still very underrated as the comedic genius she actually is. She is one of those people who are able to be hysterically funny without effort. This is the second time she's saved a movie from disaster: Nicholas Cage's "Renfield" was really her film.

Her character also injects the adorable "aw" factor each time her little paws open.

Po was his usual loveable self and appealing in his boyish innocence. His two male fathers provide another insight into the hidden soul of Po as they fuss over their beloved boy.
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Perfect Days (2023)
10/10
Brilliant acting
9 April 2024
The film resurrects the art of good cinema devoid of ostentation or the over the top highly affected acting of Hollywood.

Subtlety is the key. The audience is not treated as a bunch of dullards who can only understand mayhem, but as intelligent people capable of understanding the many gracefully intertwined themes concerning the human dilemma.

It has a Zen quality that creates peace and inner truth. It's gentle theme nurtures our soul.

The final scene is worthy of an Academy Award for Best Actor. If you want to know what enlightenment looks like then go see it.

All the actors are incredibly great artists.

The music score also works on several levels as it captures the mood; and also illustrates what many people don't know: most Japanese people love retro Western music.
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7/10
Nuns aplenty
4 April 2024
Following on the heels of the film "Immaculate" about nuns giving birth to the satanic in a Catholic cult, comes the First Omen about nuns giving birth to the satanic in a Catholic cult!

However the latter is a far better production that relies less on jump scares and more on slow burn horror. Warnings of "viscera" were overrated as it only graphically appeared once. There was instead a clever analysis of the natural horror of the ordeal of childbirth.

The treatment of the Catholic Church was also more balanced as it clarified that most Catholics were spiritual people, and not satanic cultists.

There was even a hidden message that sin, even one night out, was not good for nuns!

Anomalies existed. Why Satan didn't like fire for example was inconsistent with the entire history of Catholicism. Also the ending was very contrived to ensure a sequel could be resurrected if needed.

The setting was an orphanage for girls run by nuns so there was an interesting archetypal ambience about motherhood, which worked very well for the film. Every version of the feminine was on hand with a cunning foxy Cardinal Bill Nighy in the henhouse, so to speak.

It was this strange analysis of everything female, and I mean everything, that was exceptional.
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10/10
It Works This Time
21 March 2024
The film finally recaptures the great feel of the original films. The use of original cast members (alongside the newbies) really makes the film series come back to life.

It even survives the forced "inclusivity" trend due to the fact most of the 10 (!) leading characters have developed identities from past films, so the one or two new characters have time for some character development.

Using the original background music in certain scenes works in the film's favour and helps to conjure the original feel superbly well.

The retro style sets and props also add to the sense that not that much time has passed since the first Ghostbusters.

Extensive use of the original heroes actually stood the test of time and gave the film urgently needed charisma that was sadly missing in previous remakes.

The storyline was interesting and the idea of an ice cold threat did not smother the film with overuse as it was used selectively.

A very moving and welcome return of the original ghostly spirit.
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10/10
Beauty and Power
2 October 2023
Excellent recreation of many ancient Chinese myths and characters. The CGI rivals Lord of the Rings in its vast scale.

The most notable star is the Fox Spirit who inhabits the body of an extraordinary beauty. She "steals the show" as both a consummate actress and mythological being. A mixture of good and evil, but the evil is a delightful Dr Frank'n'furter evil.

The child immortal being is also fascinating as it brings to life a character we might have seen in ornament shops but injects it with humour, power and wisdom.

We are able to understand more about ancient Chinese mythology and philosophy which totally goes against "official state policy" in a loving way.
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Asteroid City (2023)
8/10
Artful retro play
13 August 2023
A fashionably retro reconstruction of the early alien phenomena of 1950s USA but couched in a creative "stage production atmosphere"; sometimes quite literally.

The colour palette is early "kodak camera" and the scenes are all designed like kitsch postcards of that era.

The alien itself is non threatening but his presence suddenly tilts the entire plot into an even more surreal setting.

There are successful attempts at both humour and pathos through the lens and vibe of the 50s with visual references to certain famous icons.

A few black and white scenes add to the atmosphere, particularly with the feel of TV before colour.
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7/10
Deviated septums galore.
10 August 2023
I've given "Meg 2" some extra stars due to the extraordinary use of actors with serious "Millhouse Van Houten noses" instead of the usual Hollywood chiselled proboscis's. The lead actor's nose is actually a running gag if you'll pardon the pun. An Asian child actor doesn't have the usual button nose. Kudos! There are others :) Noses aside, the movie is fanciful, but most of the soon-to-be-eaten actors play really annoying characters so we begin to feel a secret schadenfreude as each meet their grisly end. This is accompanied by an equally secret thankful admiration for the monsters of the deep as they rid the seas of annoying pests.

Hundreds of bullets from other human enemies never hit our stars, and all the action belongs in a theme park.

It's really just a 3 star movie with revolutionary and incredibley important noses.
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Chevalier (2022)
6/10
Less bling, more swordplay please
3 August 2023
Bio-pic about a late 18th Century African music genius who lived in revolutionary France as an aristocrat due to royal patronage.

To me personally there was too much emphasis on his "bling and ho's" and way to little about his astonishing swordsmanship.

Perhaps the producers wanted to draw a parallel to modern black music stars, but by not properly exploring his fencing skill and horsemanship the producer left out a huge chunk about why this dexterous champion was so signifigant.

Really, Chevalier was a precursor of great black sportsmen and musicians rolled into one. Perhaps he even scared Napoloeon who reintroduced slavery after realising the potential genetic superior qualities of other dark skinned races.
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Simulant (2023)
10/10
Brilliant film
1 August 2023
With all the negative reviews I knew this had to be a good film! Sure enough those who like Barbie didn't like Simulant 😉 Simulant offers a realistic view of the near future, unlike Bladerunner which gave a totally exaggerated unrealistic view.

The screen compositions were all creative and artistic; the plot was a superb interplay of "who in fact is souless"; and the dialogue, for once, was clear (unlike so many movies today).

The star, a simulant, was a tall Tom Cruise lookalike who acted like Tom Cruise does in real life: empty headed and unintentionally stupid. Add just a dash of Will Ferrell stupid and you get a truly memorable albeit accidental star performance.

The plot allows us to take a pick as to who is the most souless. My vote goes to the simulants human wife who's awful paintings capture her vacuousness.
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Oppenheimer (I) (2023)
6/10
Atomic jump scares
27 July 2023
Atomically loud jump scares are littered throughout the film. The film immediately starts with a sudden huge noise then plods quietly through barely discernible dialogue until other sudden huge noises occur regularly to inject adrenalin into the audience. The first hour urgently needs sub titles due to the garbled words. This is strange because the first hour had some scientific theory which, if heard better, would have really added to the film.

Sudden irrelevant sex scenes occasionally replace the sudden loud noises obviously to break the monotonous talk fest.

Some great acting by both major and minor actors. This saved the film from outright boredom and makes it passable. The theme is of such importance that the talk fest is warranted so we can get a better understanding of those times.

The musical score was mainly sudden and loud. Forte forte FORTE.
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The New Boy (2023)
10/10
Puts Aussie cinema back on track
8 July 2023
Cate Blanchet creates a brilliant portrayal of an altruistic nun who runs an outback orphanage. She appears without any make-up which gives great authenticity to her idiosyncratic and often humorous nun character. Her spirituality is contrasted with the preternatural spirituality of a very young indigenous boy. This creates a fascinating theme about the philosophy of spirituality. It also puts Aussie cinema back on track and away from the recent interminable very poor "Aussie horror" which has destroyed all international respect for Australian films.

The New Boy is actually about an important and highly captivating theme. It also allows us to view recent history through a new lens by touching upon many associated themes.

I will never forget the poignant theme of a young boy leaving the orphanage.
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1/10
Scrambled plot
28 June 2023
When fx subsumes the storyline the movie always loses. In this case the street art style does the same thing as the weak plot drowns completely in artsy fartsy.

A good movie is about the story it tells, not about superficial appearance. That's really the hidden moral of the story.

The plot rests on the current fashion for 'multiverse" themes. It's like a huge tasteless meal that becomes impossible to digest The multiverse themes, the street art and the emo hooded young teenagers are designed to appeal to generation X. The dialogue is so badly mumbled it urgently needed to be subtitled.

Highly confused jumbled dialogue mixed with a very infantile understanding of maths.
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8/10
Insanity horror
20 April 2023
This film is about the horror of incurable insanity.

It doesn't attempt to explain incurable insanity as the result of demon possession (theism) but insanity as just pointless bad luck (atheism). It has to be said that atheists have a point because ultimately we can never "explain" complete insane, but only have compassion for the plight.

At 3 hours long we are taken on a wild ride of hallucinations and horror that the totally insane spend years,if not a lifetime, constantly experiencing. This results in their frequent physical injury and an inability to cope with any mundane tasks. It may also lead to the accidental death or injury to others.

Joaquin Phoenix does a sterling job of portraying the hideous confusion and pain of the totally insane.

Ultimately there is a pervasive feeling of utter hopeless in the film and hellish suffering.
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2/10
Cringeworthy
8 April 2023
A very poor film full of cringeworthy moments and ridiculous unintentionally funny themes and scenes.

The sight of a huge portly Crowe confronting and chatting with a allegedly possessed tiny skinny kid, is stupidly hilarious: it tears a huge hole into any semblance of believability.

The plot becomes a tedious, convoluted Dan Brown silly mess.

Watching a very overweight Crowe use a very tiny mini scooter to supposedly move another massive weight is farcical. The movie is filled with such cringeworthy scenes which culminate in a crock of bad cgi ideas.

Crowe's best scene is when he voraciously guzzles whiskey from a silver vial with all the gusto of a true alcoholic.
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9/10
Excellent follow up
29 March 2023
This is a very well acted and produced horror film that follows up on "the beginnings" really well. It seamlessly merges into the first movie and gives more insight into Riani the spirit child of Riana.

There is a beautiful scene of Riana and Riani in a garden which certainly belongs in the category of its own for sheer mystical wonder and artistry.

The casting is very professional and shows how competent Indonesian film making has become.

Filmed on site in a bizarre creepy building that oozes claustrophobia and fear.

Another feast for the rapidly growing fan base of Riana which is destined to create a cult status film.
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9/10
Excellent
29 March 2023
A well produced and artistically filmed production. Time will see this become a cult classic because of the huge following and interest in Sacred Riana. Her destiny is to be an actual potent force in the evolution of spirituality so more and more people will be lining up to study and investigate the phenomenon. Hence the predicted cult status of the film.

The acting is excellent so just ignore the naysayers who missed the point.

It's got a great carnival pastiche at the end of the film with a couple of creepy clowns and a hall of mirrors. It's both fun and scary which is quite a genre these days.

Finally, it's a feast for Riana fans present and future.

9 out of 10.
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Barbarian (2022)
9/10
Killer pathos
23 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The police were by far the scariest characters: arrogant, narcissistic, thick headed total waste of space ie absolute realism.

The monster was a John Cleese lookalike in zombie drag, so I found her/it/they quite humorous in many ways.

The scenario was very realistic and it bludgeoned us with the philosophical debate about "what is evil".

I found many online reviews used red herrings for some reason. False spoliers you could say.

There was a lot of very clever photography and character nuance. A door could appear utterly threatening just be being placed at the correct angle for the right amount of time; or a face could appear ambiguous by the director with great artistic ease.
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Black Magic (1949)
9/10
Fascinating
9 September 2022
A film made for the period in1947. Just after the second world war where mass hypnosis was seen in Germany and people were thinking about it. The complex plot adds to the sense of "what is real" and also serves to reveal the confusing deviousness of Cagliostros mind. It's also interesting as historically most of the French Royals and upper class were guillotined: so who was really bad?

If the viewer sees the film in its correct mid 20th century milleau it makes a lot of sense.

Also strange obscure European healers, mystics and hypnotists were actually a feature of society in the previous centuries. Science was slowly realising the power of the mind and the role it plays in healing. Psychiatry was very slowly evolving as well. These are the themes in the film and they reflect actual reality.
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10/10
Great comedy
29 December 2018
A really funny comedy with great laughs every few minutes. One of Will Ferrell's best comedies. Well acted, great sets and non stop gags that work. Even the music was great. Only someone who has lost their sense of humour could not enjoy this.
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