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50 First Dates (2004)
A Surprisingly Genuine Sandler Joint
50 First Dates succeeds as a romantic film, with one of the better Adam Sandler performances. Sadly, it fails at being a comedy. It's not offensive or even the worst jokes to be in a Sandler film, it just isn't funny. Which is sad, because there is a decent film hidden within, some of the jokes are funny and Drew Barrymore is pretty good.
Doctor Who: Deep Breath (2014)
A Fun Time
This won't appear on any best episodes lists, but as far as making a really fun episode of Doctor Who, this does a good job. The first half is okay, but the restaurant scenes are maybe some of the most schlocky fun worth a watch. Probably one of the best episodes of this season and a good first episode. Shame Into The Dalek wasn't quite as good and slowed the momentum Deep Breath created, but the rest of the season was fine.
Trois couleurs: Bleu (1993)
A very solid drama
This is very first impression based, so I may post another review afterwards, but after watching it, having not seen White or Red, I think this is an incredibly acted solid film. It reminded me of two films, Cronos, the debut feature from Guillermo Del Toro, and Amelie, the classic from Jean Pierre Jeunet. Blue and Cronos both have a very small scale, low budget, independent feeling about them, focused on one character's journey in a couple of different locations. It seemed like the opposite of Amelie in that they are about women in isolation, but in Blue the isolation is self imposed.
And that is the most interesting aspect of the film to me, this idea of running from your grief and locking yourself up as to avoid it. Juliette Binoche's performance is brilliant and captivating, completely cold, telling that where there once was feeling is now numb.
The interesting use of editing of fading to black at dramatic high points and kicking in the orchestral music was just that, "interesting". I'll know on a rewatch whether it works fully for me or not, but I appreciate it had a purpose, although partially distracting.
The naming and colouring of Blue, White, Red could become pretentious but in this film it was not subtle at all, although less distracting after a while. The film gets away with the colour because it really is entirely written around it, capturing the emotions of what blue can represent, beautiful but cold, enticing but distant. The theme of liberty seemed to me to be chastised by Krzysztof, this concept of it being not only a torturous existence to truly imbrace isolation, but also impossible in the world we live in.
Black Mirror (2011)
Needs New Ideas
Sadly, I believe Black Mirror has been running on fumes since the end of season 3. I think I described to my friend as a Charlie Brooker keeps building the same house but giving it a different coat of paint. Ever since the show literally peaked with "White Christmas" (which is undeniably either the best episode of the show or in the top 3), they have kept repeating the "torture AI" concept. This became intolerable for me when I reached "Black Museum". I like a lot of episodes that go for something new, like "Metalhead" or "Shut up and Dance", but the amount of episodes that keep refreshing old ideas is starting to get tedious. However, the worst episode of the show was either "ArkAngel" or "Black Museum". Jodie Foster seems like a nice person, and I haven't seen many of her other directorial efforts, but I think she made one of the most boring episodes of the show, on par with the first half of "White Bear" which was intentionally bad. "Black Museum" is like a bad remaster of a game you like. There are other types of technological horror stories you can tell, "Shut Up and Dance" proved it, but they keep resorting to the same beats of eternal hell inside a computer. I think the show needs new writers and a new showrunner ASAP.
The show is also limited by the gimmick, that being technological horror stories. This has really limited the writers creativity, unlike Inside No.9 which has a simple one location gimmick, which gives them more freedom. Honestly, for a show written mostly by two guys, Inside No.9 is a much more creative, shocking and impressive British anthology tv show. So just go watch that. Its less tedious and annoying.
Videodrome (1983)
Surpisingly Thoughtful and Insightful
This is one of my favourite horror films, definitely from the 80s, but for context, this is coming from someone who cannot stand slashers.
Videodrome, in-between stomach vaginas and cancer guns, raises a lot of points about our relationship with television, film and media, almost in a pre-Haneke way. It satirises the concept that has bothered parents for generations, that being that television warps our mental state, flipping it with the possibility of it changing us physically too. One of my favourite aspects of Videodrome is that while you watch it, you are perversely horrified, but even afterward, you think about the layers and metaphors it contains. It does not just contain gore for shock value. Many of the practical effects can be interpreted in various ways, like how the protagonist grows a vagina in his stomach. Yes, it is gross and nasty, but clearly thought went into this decision and what it says about the character. Is the cancer in his brain accessed possible fears of feminity, or perhaps it happened as a fitting punishment for his perverse views. This film is not just stupid crap that forces a reaction of shock and confusion, there are things to notice and pick up on. The performances are good, but the stars of the film are the practical effects, direction and script.
Donnie Darko (2001)
The theatrical cut is much better...
If you asked me what I thought of Donnie Darko when I first saw it (I first saw the Theatrical Cut on DVD), I would have told you I consider it a decent film with a good soundtrack and a creepy atmosphere. I understood why so many people love this film, but it did not connect with me personally, at best a 7/10. However, it has been stuck in my mind, and after finding out more about Richard Kelly and his career path since, but also rewatching the film, I have both become even more critical and also more respectful of it.
If you're reading this review and haven't seen the film, the Theatrical Cut is much better in my opinion, as it leaves many things much more vague and ominious. It is an incredibly creepy film that would not work without Jake Gyllenhal's performance, and the way the studio interferred with the project. I am usually against studios re-editing films to change an artist's vision, but Richard Kelly is the type of writer-director who needs to be told what is good and what is stupid. His Director's Cut, while nowhere near as bad as Southland Tales, removes the vague interpretation that can be taken from this story and especially the ending. It hammers home the sci-fi angle without understanding that it is unnecessary to the final tale. The story also loses its uniqueness once you learn about Southland Tales and his script for a "Holes" adaptation. Refraining from complete spoilers yet again, the 'end of the world' and 'ridiculous sci fi turns' thing starts to wear off once you do it a ton and sacrifice character for cheap science fiction thrills. That said, what makes Donnie Darko so effective and even more tragic is the grounded nature it has. There are some wonderful characters in this film, and the Terrence Malick-style floaty camera movement shots at the start really set up their family dynamic. While the Director's Cut does butcher the impact and vague creepyness of the ending, the theatrical cut does contain one of the most haunting endings to a motion picture. Honestly, Donnie Darko works much better as a tragic fantasy film more akin to Pan's Labyrinth than a twisty sci fi movie.
Also,I wouldn't reccommend looking up all the "Motivated Living" or "Motivated Dead" and Parallel Universe stuff. While this does add an interesting angle to the way the story progresses (and arguably, it makes more sense), I prefer the total preventability of the ending and the interpretation you can take from it. Still a good movie though.
Crimson Peak (2015)
A real shame...
I'm sometimes annoyed when people call films like Apostle boring because the first half is slow paced, but this film was dreadfully dull completely through. I have enjoyed most of Guillermo Del Toro's work. Pan's Labyrinth is a masterpiece, while the Devil's Backbone is clever ghost story and Cronos is an easy-to-watch fun movie. Hellboy II actually has a lot more to it than your standard action film. Sadly, this film cannot even surpass Pacific Rim in its campy fun. It was borderline unwatchable at a lot of points. Mia Wasikowska and Tom Hiddleston seemed to be trying, but their characters were a drag to watch. Even the gore was unsatisfying. However, in fairness, once the revelation in the second half happens, it does get pretty funny to watch in a detached sort of way for a solid fifteen-twenty minutes, and Jessica Chastain does do a good job of at least being entertaining. If you like special effects, monsters or gore, those are the best parts of the film, but it's such a drag to get there. I think the only reason I gave this a 4 and not a 3 is that Guillermo directed it and I sort of see what he was going for.
However, you should watch literally any of his other movies, Pan's Labyrinth is his best movie, but the Devil's Backbone and Cronos are worth watching.
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)
Season Three?
This is legitamitely one of the best science-fiction fantasy shows of all time and really captures the off-kilter writing of Douglas Adams
I hope the show can be revived again on Netflix [it won't because our divine creator has a sick sense of humour), maybe Twin Peaks style?
Black Mirror: White Bear (2013)
A terrible episode... on purpose?
To be completely honest, the first thirty minutes of this episode are really terrible. As in if this episode didn't have such a good ending, it would legitamitely the worst episode of the show. But the twist at the end actually kind of saves it, as well as contextulises Michael Smiley's cheese and ham performance into something a little more interesting. Not a favourite of mine, personally because even on rewatches where you know what is going on, it's still a slog to get through, but the last fifteen minutes are gold.
Apostle (2018)
My Second Favourite Movie of 2018
Seriously, don't watch the trailer! It spoils most of the best shots and scenes and gives the wrong impression.
I understand not liking this movie, or not being scared by it, but I'm just baffled anyone could even call this boring. This is one of the scariest movies of all time and for most of the second half I just wanted to throw up.
The story is not spectacular, but the script is the perfect for Gareth Evan's fantastic direction and a really creepy sound design. Just watch it.
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
I guess she did return all right...
*Quick Heads Up* I thought the original Mary Poppins was good, just not my sorta thing. That is to say, I thought the movie was very well done and I can certainly understand why people think of this when you say mixing real life with cartoons instead of Song of the South (a movie for another day), and I enjoyed watching it. It just isn't a film I would be desperate to put in the DVD player again.
That brings us to Mary Poppins Returns, a movie I can guarantee the only people excited to make were the scumbag producers who greenlight it. A the time of this review's release, this film has a 7.2 rating on IMDB and a 78% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The reason I say this is because I believe in the future, our evil Cybermen overlords will probably find a burnt Blu-Ray of Mary Poppins Returns, (or as I'll be referring to it from now on, MPR) put it in their NES and watch it. Shortly after they'll upload a review to IMDB of 5 stars and say "Well, retrospectively, I prefer the original." But I'll spare you a sketch and cut to the chase. I honestly think this movie is probably around the same quality as the Ghostbusters Reboot. Both movies aren't bad, they're just not very good and are kinda forgettable. And before you respond to this with a scathing letter about how much you think I'm wrong, just think: re-watch this and a Quiet Place. Then write it out scene by scene and I can GUARANTEE that you will remember a Quiet Place way more.
There are good parts too though.
>The Mr Banks and his sister were probably the best actors in the movie
>Emily Blunt is FINE as Mary Poppins
>None of the acting was bad
>It looks very nice.
>I liked the set up and execution of the China Pot scenes
>A good cameo from Angel Lansbury
>A ehh cameo from Meryl Streep
The bad stuff is there too though:
>The song numbers are too forgettable
>That song about the 'cover of a book'? wat?
>The made a villain, no TWO villains (Even though they're the same person) As I said, I wasn't a massive fan of the original, but even I know the original didn't have a villain. Yeah, you could say the bank was the bad guy, but they were barely in the movie, not looming over at all times. And wasn't even a good villain, it was an evil (well acted, I'll give him that) Colin Firth as the SUPREME BANK LORD!!! He's basically a cardBorat cut-out from a Don Bluth cartoon.
But the biggest sin of all:
>IT'S BASICALLY THE FIRST MOVIE!!! - I know they were trying to make it in the "spirit of the original", but, by God is this just the same film, what with a
1. Dance with multiple dirty men a roof top
2. Cartoon and real-life scene
3. Financial Trouble with the evil bank
4. A fairground scene
5. Mary Poppins coming to put the Banks children right
6. Mary Poppins coming to put the Banks father right
7. A chimney sweep, sorry, I mean 'lamplighter'
8. A big climax, oh wait, the original didn't have that because it was GOOD!
Overall, I don't have the heart to give this movie a 5, and, yeah, it was intended for fans of the original, and it does look nice, and there is one or two good scenes, but why did they make this? Why, why, why, I'll tell you why, because Disney needed a good deal of money and since the Beauty and the Beast remake made a billion dollars, they thought this would too.
Verdict - 6/10