It'll make a lot of money, but so does the mafia
18 July 1999
Okay, so Lucas was under intense self-inflicted pressure to make the latest episode of his sci-fi epic transcend the previous offerings, but it is my opinion that he went about it in the wrong way relied too heavily on special FX. Added to that, he once again left gaping plot flaws and inconsistencies in what turned out to be a disappointing script. Unbalanced and flawed.

One of the joys of watching a film is not knowing what is going to happen, and even if you are pretty sure of what will happen through inductive reasoning. Though we may have all been fairly confident that Luke would play a pretty major role in the destruction of the first death star, we didn't actually know. With some level of disbelief-suspension we are able to let go and enjoy the battle that ensues during the mission. Han blasts in, Luke `uses the force' and the audience is happy. I had no doubt at any stage during the race scene in TPM that Anakin was going to win his race with the vessel that he built with his own slave-hands. Good for him, but I found the whole scene a trifle tiring and pointless. If Qui-Gon Jin can leap into a passing aircraft to evade danger, and can hold his own against Maul for a while, then surely he could have used Jedi mind powers on Anakin's enslaver. No need for mummy to carry on living a life of depravity, or for the young lad to be separated from her. Perhaps, if he had been kept under her wing until he was really ready he wouldn't have become an emotional retard.

I suffered from a distinct lack of ability to believe all of the ridiculous and largely irrelevant situations that were being presented to me in this film. The light sabre is supposedly a pure energy blade with no mass, while the electromagnetically generated arc wave creates a strong gyroscopic effect that is surprisingly difficult to handle. OK. So how come Maul can handle a double-ended one and stave off two apparently talented opponents simultaneously? (I know Obi-Wan was a junior, but he did have some talents) Queen Amidala seemed to change from one magnificent gown to another continually through the film (not at all like the simple pithy garments that her `subjects' wore) applying fresh make-up and moaning about her own ineffectualness. Apparently she was an elected queen. Why did her subjects elect her? Because she had a proven track record for dealing with economy and international relations? Or was it for her superfluous fashionable magnanimity? Beats me. And how is it that technology levels are so much higher in this episode than in Star Wars? Don't give me that `there is a really big war in episode 3' rubbish. It is a known fact that technology levels do not recede as a result of war, but they actually improve somewhat. Especially for the winning side. Oh, and could someone please tell me why Darth Maul was given virtually no speaking parts? Aside from the fight scenes, he was more an extra than a player and I found this deeply disappointing. This film needed a main proponent of the opposition's cause.

We could bang on about plot flaws all day, but for now it seems to me that there is a far more important shortcoming in this movie that Star Wars certainly didn't have, and that is likeable characters. A generation of people have grown up wanting to be/dress up as Princess Leia, Han Solo, Darth Vader, a Storm Trooper, an Imperial Guard, Boba Fett, one of the Catina musicians or Chewie. We could see them out in force at the opening of TPM in queues around the world. Aside from Queen Amidala and Darth Maul what new costumes will people be wearing in the next set of opening queues? A Battle Droid or Jar Jar? Me thinks not. There were very few things to really like about this set of characters, most particularly their pathetic names. They were not emotionally provoking enough. Computer animation is a far cry from getting a guy to dress up in a really good suite. Animation encourages alienation. Star Wars was so popular because of the great costumes that the Imperial forces got to wear. Computer animation sequences may be great for ease-of use but they do tend to promote a certain kind of distancing from the action at hand, and the blue screen doesn't exactly help actors to act.

In all, though I enjoyed the first three I couldn't say that I enjoyed the first three movies a considerable amount more than this one. However, I'm not 10 years old any more (I'm 20). I do feel that it isn't a patch on the previous offerings, and I hated the special effects. They're great, but `eye candy' should only be used to enhance something that is already there, and not to try to create it from thin air. All in all a disappointing affair, but I wouldn't discourage anyone from seeing it.
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