After seeing `Here on Earth,' it is strikingly obvious that Leelee Sobieski would make a perfect model - she is great at standing around and looking pretty for the camera, and never once did we see her in an unflattering outfit, pose, or even with messy hair. However, it seems that is all she is good at. Her acting skills do not go beyond her aesthetic qualities, making for an extremely dull character. Additionally, it didn't help that she was given lines that sounded more like cliches than actual sentences, or that her character was written as completely wishy-washy. All of that said, add in two good looking guys who had even less personality, a small town in Western Massachusetts (which was actually filmed in Minnesota) and an obligatory kissing-in-the-rain scene, and you have the disaster that is `Here on Earth.'
Perhaps the underlying problem of the movie is that the plot was not only one big cliche,but a cliche stolen from countless other movies. Sobieski plays Samantha, a recent high school graduate with no money who dreams of attending medical school. For most of high school, she has been dating her lifelong best friend, Jasper (Josh Hartnett). Just as they are about to carve their names into the `lover's wall' in her family's restaurant, rich kid Kelley (Chris Klein) swoops into town and steals Sam's heart. Obviously, Jasper and Kelley don't get along well, which is very unfortunate considering that they are forced to live together after they burn down Sam's restaurant during a drag race. Unfortunately, the audience is then forced to sit through about an hour of Sam's developing relationship with Kelley, while she strings Jasper along because she doesn't have the guts to tell him she's moved on.
Although this has the potential to be a heartwarming love story, it is ruined by the sappy and contrived dialogue. It felt as though writer Michael Seitzman just jotted down every single pick up line he had ever tried and failed at, and then decided that even though they failed in real life, they might work in the movies. As a result, the audience was forced to sit through such conversations as Kelly asking Sam (referring to her father), `Do you always bring the sheriff on dates?' to which she replies (with about as much enthusiasm as a rock), `Not if I'm the one breaking the law.' Yawn. A particularly excruciating moment was when the couple, after running through a sprawling meadow, shares an intimate moment reminiscent of Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler in Armageddon. After Kelley names all of Sam's body parts after states, he finally calls her lips Massachusetts, to which she replies, `Massachusetts welcomes you.'
Amused yet? That's not all. In an effort to either move the audience, or make us laugh even harder (it was hard to tell by this point), Sam discovers she has terminal illness à la Love Story. Note to director Mark Piznarski: Although this simple plot device worked for Love Story thirty years ago, that kind of sappiness just doesn't cut it when your cast can barely muster up any kind of emotion.
Needless to say, the audience was in hysterics (with laughter) by the end. Because of this instinct to just laugh at it, the movie was enjoyable in that guilty pleasure, Lifetime movie kind of way. Plus, it had that pretty song with that guy from 98 Degrees...
Perhaps the underlying problem of the movie is that the plot was not only one big cliche,but a cliche stolen from countless other movies. Sobieski plays Samantha, a recent high school graduate with no money who dreams of attending medical school. For most of high school, she has been dating her lifelong best friend, Jasper (Josh Hartnett). Just as they are about to carve their names into the `lover's wall' in her family's restaurant, rich kid Kelley (Chris Klein) swoops into town and steals Sam's heart. Obviously, Jasper and Kelley don't get along well, which is very unfortunate considering that they are forced to live together after they burn down Sam's restaurant during a drag race. Unfortunately, the audience is then forced to sit through about an hour of Sam's developing relationship with Kelley, while she strings Jasper along because she doesn't have the guts to tell him she's moved on.
Although this has the potential to be a heartwarming love story, it is ruined by the sappy and contrived dialogue. It felt as though writer Michael Seitzman just jotted down every single pick up line he had ever tried and failed at, and then decided that even though they failed in real life, they might work in the movies. As a result, the audience was forced to sit through such conversations as Kelly asking Sam (referring to her father), `Do you always bring the sheriff on dates?' to which she replies (with about as much enthusiasm as a rock), `Not if I'm the one breaking the law.' Yawn. A particularly excruciating moment was when the couple, after running through a sprawling meadow, shares an intimate moment reminiscent of Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler in Armageddon. After Kelley names all of Sam's body parts after states, he finally calls her lips Massachusetts, to which she replies, `Massachusetts welcomes you.'
Amused yet? That's not all. In an effort to either move the audience, or make us laugh even harder (it was hard to tell by this point), Sam discovers she has terminal illness à la Love Story. Note to director Mark Piznarski: Although this simple plot device worked for Love Story thirty years ago, that kind of sappiness just doesn't cut it when your cast can barely muster up any kind of emotion.
Needless to say, the audience was in hysterics (with laughter) by the end. Because of this instinct to just laugh at it, the movie was enjoyable in that guilty pleasure, Lifetime movie kind of way. Plus, it had that pretty song with that guy from 98 Degrees...