2/10
HG Wells And The Acid House
10 January 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I first became aware of this remake when a clip was broadcast on Barry Norman's FILM 96 . It's the scene where Dr Moreau ( Marlon Brando ) sits with his animal experiments and tries to justify himself to UN diplomat Edward Douglas played by David Thewlis . The reason the scene stuck in my mind was because Thewlis is best known for his work in British social realism movies so as Douglas points to the animals asking " What the bloody hell's this all about ? What's he supposed to be ? " I couldn't help thinking that Thewlis's performance had jumped out of a Mike Leigh movie . Even more bizarelly when Moreau replies " You expect me to condense seventeen years into seventeen minutes ..." Brando plays the part exactly - And I mean exactly - as he did as Col Kurzt in APOCALPSE NOW , and all the time the camera intercuts with Moreau's creatures all of whom are giving embarrassed looks . I thought because this clip was shown out of context that may be the reason it looked so ridiculous but unfortunately after seeing the whole movie I can say this is one of the least ridiculous parts of the movie

THE ISLAND OF DR MOREAU isn't as well known as some of HG Well's other books like THE TIME MACHINE or WAR OF THE WORLDS but it deserves to be remembered since it deals with humanism , genetic engineering and vivisection . Obviously these concepts were beyond the productions knowledge and we have a film that makes little sense . It goes without saying everything about the movie is bad , the directing is bad , the screenplay is bad and the acting is bad but the worse thing is the way the producers have tried to update the storyline by having much of the action take place in an acid house ! No seriously in order for it to appeal to a 20 something audience Val Kilmer's character ( Who's not really a character - He's just there to spout lines and be used as a plot device ) decides to have an acid house party with his furry friends . No doubt the animals favourite tune is Panic by The Smiths because they decide to hang the bloody DJ and install a new furrier music maker who then shoots anyone who either appears too sycophantic or too critical to his choice of music . The film ends with Douglas escaping after the animal experiments have killed one another in a shoot out

Anyone reading this review without seeing the film will no doubt be phoning an ambulance for me . But the events take place on screen exactly as I described them and an ambulance would be better served by being sent to the house of the studio executive who was insane enough to finance this mess
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