Review of Loverboy

Loverboy (2005)
3/10
The parent trip
27 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
An overblown telemovie which would have actually benefited from commercial breaks, if for no other reason than to intercut with any sort of livelier action, of which this feature is in dire deficit. It starts with a vector - the introduction into the story is absorbing enough, and Sedgwick does have a commanding screen presence, her almost Desperate Housewives-like voice over and undeniable sex appeal giving the on-screen action some cooler distance and electricity. The set up is actually reminiscent of a film-noir - we're made to expect some sort of a plot and some veritable action from the heroine. Forty minutes into the film, however, you can't but ask yourself - where is this bleedin' thing going already? Tangential characters come and go yet we're not moving much - in fact we seem to be stuck with Emily and her not particularly escalating madness - not in any real sense, she's just plain nuts from the word go - until the flashback action is tied "neatly" together and we learn that she's decided to end it all for herself and her little brat (who incidentally pulls a hundred too many faces and cannot act at all, ruining every moment of his screen time as well as Sedgwick's entire valiant effort). Annoyingly, we also get to hear a horrendous karaoke pseudo-rendition of John Paul Young's "Love Is In The Air" several times over during the more embarrassing scenes, as well as other loud incidental music which occasionally drowns the whispering dialogue - er, WHAT did she just mumble? - and the only few scenes of real chemistry are between Sandra Bullock and young Emily. That also goes nowhere.

A completely uninteresting story about one sad and lonely but arrogant woman suffering from social maladaption who proceeds to become an unhappy, crazed mother whom you just want to slap in the face and bring to her senses during most of this film's relatively short running time. Unless you recognise yourself in the leading role, or work for the social services, there's no other reason why you should watch this. A very weird screen debut from Bacon the director, I can't say I'll be watching any of his future efforts any time soon.
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