Review of The Crow

The Crow (1994)
3/10
Flat, dull, stupid
1 October 2007
I can only guess at the age and experience of those who, in other reviews of this movie, have dubbed it "the best movie ever". Viewers be forewarned: it isn't, not by a long-shot.

What it is: a comic-genre film - and like most film versions of dark comics, it is enslaved to rain and shadows, candlelight and eyeliner aesthetics, pseudo-intellectualism and faux-poetic moments. It suffers greatly from an unbelievable premise (murderous super bad guys run wild in the streets, doing their will) and mind-numbingly dense dialog.

I watched this movie just recently for the first time - and had to check all the background material on it because I just couldn't believe it was actually shot in the nineties - it is an eighties movie in every way shape and form, hearkening back to the days of the early Cure, Bauhaus, Souxsie and the Banshees, etc.

The acting is flat all around (Brandon Lee spends the entire movie with his chin on his chest, glaring menacingly from underneath his furrowed brow) and what little there is of character is two-dimensional - a comic book view of the world, juvenile and meaningless, trying desperately to be "deep".

If Brandon Lee hadn't died during production, this film would be regarded as nothing more than an amusing goth fantasy - and not the goth cult classic it seems to have become. I guess I understand some people's emotional attachment to it, but back when I was being goth and under the influence of nihilist aesthetics, my friends and I read Baudelaire, Sartre and Dostoevsky. To us, a film like this would be as intellectually an emotionally fulfilling as the popcorn you might eat while watching it.

The "best movie ever"? Sorry. No.
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