Immortals (2011)
5/10
Immortals is like you're dating the hottest person on the planet, but it turns out they're dumb as a box of rocks
11 November 2011
Warning: Spoilers
If you're going to mess up Greek mythology, I guess you might as well make it pretty. Immortals is a semi-related-sequel to the incredible film 300, which not only looked beautiful but had this incredible story of triumph and strength, overcoming powerful numbers with a sense of knowing who you are and the pride you have. Immortals was created by director Tarsem Singh who also directed The Cell, which was an alright story followed up by some great visuals, the same thing happens here. I think Tarsem is just known for making a beautiful movie with a weak story, he's more of a visualist rather than a story teller. I still couldn't wait to see Immortals and sadly was very disappointed, unfortunately this was just a weak story with some bizarre miscasts.

King Hyperion has declared war on humanity. He searches for the Epirus Bow, a legendary weapon created by the war god Ares, which will allow him to free the rest of the Titans from Tartarus and take revenge on the Olympians who brought about their downfall. In accordance with ancient laws, the gods are unable to take a side in the war between Hyperion and humanity. It is left to Theseus, who was chosen by Zeus and accompanied by the priestess Phaedra and a thief named Stavros, to protect his homeland and save the gods.

To begin with the positives, like I said the visuals really are incredible. Now the CGI is over the top, but sometimes I don't mind, we need the pretty occasionally. Plus like I said if you are going to mess up mythology at least we could make it beautiful to look at. When I go to a museum and look at the Greek statues, I am in awe and that's what I felt with some of the visuals in the film. The fight scenes were so well choreographed, a little ripped off from 300, but that's alright. They took the 3D to their advantage with the blood splatter and the stabbings and honestly, it was fun to watch. And if not for the script, the story was actually very good, it's something that just needed some work.

The cast though: Henry Cavill as our hero, Theseus, I don't know if it was the actor or the way he was written but I couldn't really root for his character. He seemed to lack the charisma that made me believe that not only is this man a hero but that he's a God. He has this scene where he is giving the big speech to his army that is freaking out when they see the numbers they are about to face in war and he says something along the lines "I bleed like you bleed" and randomly they're just like "Yeah!", that's it? It didn't take much encouragement and the way that Henry delivered it was weak in my opinion. Freida Pinto, beautiful lady, decent actress, however was an unneeded character and had no chemistry with Henry. Stephen Dorff did an alright job as the sidekick who often lends a joke when needed but makes for a good fighter and has some good action scenes. Mickey Rourke really does try very hard to be the bad God like King Hyperion, but again the threat wasn't so much there. He mumbles so many lines and won't stop eating when on the screen, why not just give him a cat to stroke while talking about his plan? The ending fight scene between Hyperion and Theseus was so anti-climatic to me. The mighty legendary incredible God Zeus played by… Luke Evans? Oh, my*slaps head and groans*, I don't think I need to say more, that was just wrong.

I think that if the story besides some casting issues, maybe if the film was trimmed down a bit, the film would have worked a lot better. Despite being over the top, I like the Greek mythology as a soap opera of some sorts, that's what it was like while writing and telling these stories. The film has a lot of flaws, however, I would recommend seeing in the theater if anything, go see the matinée. The visuals are absolutely beautiful and the fight scenes are a lot of fun. But don't expect the story to be there, this movie is not a rental, even as a blu ray, I'd recommend just seeing it in the theater if you want to see some great special effects. But Tarsem does need to work on his stories, I know he has some major potential, 300 was pretty and had a great story to boot, if there's a sequel, you have one more chance to make this story into a classic that we can proudly display with Jason and the Argonauts.

5/10
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