It started off with a nice technocratic elegance. The feel of the props and the sets had a 2001-ish techno-realism that I found pleasing. And even better, the cast of characters: The Coldly Irate Scientist, the Astronaut with the Hidden Fear, the Cowardly Psychologist, the Brave, but Conflicted Captain...it was all a great set-up for a tension thriller when the crisis would hit. And overall, the photographic sense of realism in the martian landscape was the perfect canvass for a great thinking person's space thriller. I mean, even the acting was great!
But then, back in the Conference Room, someone on the Producer's Committee slammed both hands on the table and shouted: "I put a lot of flinkin' $$$ into this flinkin' movie...an' I wanna see ZOMBIES!"
And then everyone else around the table started nodding their heads and muttered: "Zombies is Good", "My kid like Zombies", "Zombies Sell", "Zombies are the KEY Demographic", "Yeah, people pay to see Zombies!", "It's gotta be Zombies this season." "Zombies, I tell ya!"
And the Director threw up his hands and said: "Alright, dammit. Let There Be Zombies!"
And the rest of the movie went FLUSH! Down the drain.
If I wanted to see Zombies on Mars, I woulda watched "Ghosts of Mars"...Again! But I Won't. Because that Movie was a waste of a rental even THEN. And even THEN, the Zombies didn't really make any sense, but it didn't matter because it was all about Ice Cube running around shooting things up.
Here, the Zombies didn't matter because they didn't even TRY to make the concept make Scientific Sense once the Human Zombies (Born of Martian Microbes) started running around naked on the martian surface and blowing things up so they can go: "Om Nom Nom"
Don't PAY to watch this trainwreck in the Theatre. Wait until it streams for free on Hulu...
But then, back in the Conference Room, someone on the Producer's Committee slammed both hands on the table and shouted: "I put a lot of flinkin' $$$ into this flinkin' movie...an' I wanna see ZOMBIES!"
And then everyone else around the table started nodding their heads and muttered: "Zombies is Good", "My kid like Zombies", "Zombies Sell", "Zombies are the KEY Demographic", "Yeah, people pay to see Zombies!", "It's gotta be Zombies this season." "Zombies, I tell ya!"
And the Director threw up his hands and said: "Alright, dammit. Let There Be Zombies!"
And the rest of the movie went FLUSH! Down the drain.
If I wanted to see Zombies on Mars, I woulda watched "Ghosts of Mars"...Again! But I Won't. Because that Movie was a waste of a rental even THEN. And even THEN, the Zombies didn't really make any sense, but it didn't matter because it was all about Ice Cube running around shooting things up.
Here, the Zombies didn't matter because they didn't even TRY to make the concept make Scientific Sense once the Human Zombies (Born of Martian Microbes) started running around naked on the martian surface and blowing things up so they can go: "Om Nom Nom"
Don't PAY to watch this trainwreck in the Theatre. Wait until it streams for free on Hulu...