Review of Nurse

Nurse (2013)
2/10
very lame
9 February 2014
i'm one of those guys who likes a movie that can be appreciate being stupid while having a whole lot of fun...this is not that movie. it tries to develop as part American psycho, part fatal attraction, but has neither the brains nor the class to be either. seeing the trailer, i was hoping this would be some fun crap, but there's no humor, the gore is cheap and (by the end) downright cruel and ludicrous. the premise is simple enough: Abby (Paz De la Huerta) is a nurse by day and a seductive killer by night, targeting unfaithful men. enter Danni (Katrina Bowden), the new nurse under Abby's wing. Danni has a few rough patches, from freezing up on her first blood-drenched patient to being subjected to verbal abuse and arcane sexual advances from the hospital's lecherous, scumbag excuse for a resident surgeon (judd nelson). things only get worse when Abby develops an unhealthy attachment to Danni, obsessing over her. despite a drunken indiscretion, Danni rebuffs Abby, realizing she's unstable. that's when Abby goes from sabotaging Danni's relationship with her ambulance driver boyfriend (Corbin Bleu) to making a project out of Danni's cheating stepfather (Martin Donovan). this is all typical stalker-movie formula that practically goes nowhere. its weak attempts at a bloody slaughterhouse ending just gets dumber and dumber and while a smack-down, cat-fight brawl between De la Huerta and Bowden appeals to many a man (including myself), this doesn't deliver enough of a payoff. the violence is nothing we haven't seen before, nor will it impress any horror geeks. and where it fails in gore (weak CGI gore, no less), it tries to make up in gratuitous nudity and there's plenty. De la Huerta has a strong aversion to clothing and struts her dominatrix physique well. she knows how to be sexy and is certainly fearless, especially when two full scenes call for her to walk around wearing no pants...at all. her line delivery...yeah, that leaves much to be desired, coming off more of a brainless bimbo than a frightening murderess. Bowden is a lovely girl, but she has nothing to do here but play the generic helpless victim. Kathleen turner has a pointless cameo. this leaves nelson, who borders between entertaining and ridiculous in a thankless role. if there is any winner in all this, it's the underused Niecy Nash, who scores as the sassy desk nurse who's got a line for everything. i wanted this to be fun. i really did. disgusting, nasty, trashy fun...but no. this is pointless drivel that offers nothing. yes, the two leads are two extraordinarily attractive women, but they look just as hot and serve their talents in much better work. this really isn't worth anyone's time. skip it.
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