Review of Contracted

Contracted (2013)
2/10
Belongs among the worst
27 March 2014
I can actually think of worse movies, so I won't give this 1 star. Others have covered the movie as a whole, so I'll center on something specific.

The main character *finally* sees a doctor despite her symptoms that should have sent her to the emergency room day 1. I have to conclude from the scene with the doctor that the script writers have never once in their lives been to a doctor. The doctor she visits confines his examination to peek in her ears and a glance at the gangrenous rot at her crotch and then suggests moisturizer. Moisturizer? SRSLY?! I once had a milder rash in the nether regions and that got me a direct diagnosis and a prescription.

I can hear the script writers now: "If we had a doctor actually *be* a doctor, then she would have gone to a hospital, been treated and we wouldn't have the movie we made." That's right, you morons: it's called a "plot hole!" You write something else. Perhaps instead the doctor could have misdiagnosed or the hospital could have been the incubation point for spreading the contraction to others, but, no, the doctor became the yenta next-door saying "oy! just rub a little lotion on your bleeding crotch-rot and you'll be OK." Now transfer this stupidity to the actions of all the rest of the characters in the movie and you've got a good idea of what you're getting into... or avoiding.
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