...but highly derivative, auteur Joe "This is my calling card" Begos' tale of alien abduction (and return) offers no surprises beyond an unexpectedly graphic instance of tentacle rape. Competently shot and produced on a relatively minuscule budget in a state one doesn't normally associate with film-making (Rhode Island), "Almost Human" nonetheless fails to leave any sort of lasting impression. The acting is nowhere near as bad as others might lead you to believe, but neither is it memorable, because the cast is burdened with mundane dialog and a play-it-safe story; Sturgeon's Revelation all the way. I hope Joe's next project goes well, and I look forward to that. He definitely has tons of talent, but needs to step up his game. Meanwhile, much as I hate to say it, the lives of anyone actually reading this blurb won't be lessened by passing on this one; there are plenty of better films out there to while away idle time.