Review of Tusk

Tusk (I) (2014)
1/10
Walrus NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 January 2015
If there was an award for the worst conceived and more importantly manufactured movie of all time this would be at the utmost top of my list. I have seen other reviewers say that this one shows the depth of what happens when a pothead gets the ability to make his own movies, as an avid smoker of the greenery and a semi fan of Kevin Smith I take offense to this analogy. This is just a piece o' crap movie and weed shouldn't take the blame for it or the act of being a "pothead".

It really amazed me more that he convinced any legitimate actor to take part in the steaming pile of horse's anal relief. Justin Long doesn't knock them out of the park every time he takes on a role but how on god's great earth did he ever get talked into this, and I won't even try to figure out how the talk went that convinced Johnny Depp to get involved ... Do actors ever watch the crap they produce before its released, I would be truly embarrassed if I were even an extra in this piece of monkey spunk.

Lastly I have seen other reviews that compare this to The Human Centipede, I see how you can come to that comparison and I absolutely hated The Human Centipede, but its an Oscar winning movie in comparison to Tusk. As ridiculous as both concepts are for anything including a movie that's supposed to be somewhat entertaining, at least The Human Centipede tried to take itself somewhat seriously. Tusk try's to add levity to itself from time to time and fails at that as horribly as it does in turning a human into a walrus believably.

I didn't toss in a lot of the spoilers and specifics I would like to because I hate reading reviews that pick apart the details of a movie I haven't seen, and there are PLENTY of other reviews here that already have done that. If you want some specifics read those, most of the ones that give it a 1 star rating are spot on. I am also not writing this in hopes that someone curious to watch it will be deterred from doing so, mainly because I watched this piece of monkey spunk so so should you if your curious. This is my personal F*CK YOU letter to Kevin Smith and anyone involved in this crap-fest of a movie. You could have fed a starving village in Africa with the money you wasted on something that should have never been produced. I truly hope this movie damages your career.

Love, A former fan
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