9/10
Probably the Most Brilliant of All the DBZ Films
24 January 2016
Warning: Spoilers
No, I'm not kidding. I legit believe this is the best DBZ film I've seen, and I've seen 'em all, from Dead Zone to Resurrection F (dubbed, which is what I am reviewing here).

An instant point in this movie's favor is how efficiently it establishes the characters. We get about 7 minutes of Roshi and Oolong being surprisingly funny to Future Trunks's annoyance, Krillin still looking for a wife (hang in there, Krillin, you'll find one soon enough), Goku and Gohan shopping with Chi-Chi, all while Androids 14 and 15 make their approach.

Oh yeah, the androids. In one of the most badass ways to introduce the goons of the film, Androids 14 and 15 literally just walk through the city like they're the Terminator, pushing through walls and buses and I can't help but love how much of a f*ck they do not give about anything around them. It's pretty awesome, actually. What's more, I get a legit sense of tension as they approach Goku (who somehow doesn't see all the smoke outside, but I can forgive), making their way to the floor beneath him for a sneak attack.

And then literally the rest of the movie is the kind of DBZ action I love: collateral damage (and yet somehow less of it than Man of Steel), ki blasts, characters getting punched, screaming, debris flying everywhere, even after the fight moves to the arctic. The fights are all pretty even with the good guys taking a beating but never feeling like they're completely outmatched like most other DBZ villains will leave them. They take hits, but they keep getting back up and ready to go again. It really helps make the fights feel even, and even after Super Saiyan is deployed the androids still put up a good fight before being destroyed. I don't care what people say about power levels, I like this. I like fights that feel knock-down drag-out scrappy. It makes the victories feel earned, not just taken.

But what really sells this movie, for me, is the titular character. Android 13 has far more dialog than most movie villains and it really helps make him a memorable character. He makes quips, he taunts Goku, he just steals every scene he's in. No wonder they put his name in the title. He's the entire reason to watch the film.

Not only that, but Android 13 is possibly the most subtly brilliant villain that DBZ's ever had, and it's a shame they wasted him as a one-off in the movie. With just a few lines of dialog, he manages to establish himself as an almost existential villain, completely aware of the fact that he has no business killing the main character, that his creator's grievances against Goku (said character) are completely meaningless at this point (since said creator is long dead), but he's going to do it anyway, almost like a soldier, following orders he doesn't agree with. That doesn't mean he can't enjoy it (shoot, the guy enjoys himself too much not to), just that he sees nothing after killing Goku and fulfilling his creator's ambition.

What compounds this thought is how he reacts to being called a slave with no free will. He has a short rant about all the horrors we humans commit with our free will and how we have no right chastising him for being a murderous killing machine. He was created to fulfill a purpose, and that's all he seeks to do, regardless of how petty his creator's motives were. It makes me wonder what he would've been like if he HAD fulfilled that purpose and suddenly been without one.

Would he have gone on to kill the rest of the world? Don't think so, because he really only takes interest in the other Z Fighters when they start interfering with his appointed task, not even killing them, just incapacitating them.

Like I said, Android 13's the star here. He gets all the fun lines, he steals every scene he's in, and the creators SOMEHOW made the one-punch-to-the-gut defeat that Broly and Bojack lost to feel satisfying with him. It's kind of amazing, actually.

That and the trucker hat. The trucker hat is the key to everything.

Would be a 10/10, if they'd fulfilled Android 13's potential as an interesting, complex character, though I doubt they could've done so in the span of one movie. Still the best DBZ movie nonetheless, in my opinion.

Oh yeah, the abridged version? Absolutely hilarious.
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