3/10
Wait. Where have I seen this before?...
18 December 2016
Another year, another Seagal movie...

...but wait, haven't we seen this before? Seagal as a former government-super-secret-special-something-something taking on the entire world by his merry lonesome? Yep. And haven't we seen that since the 1980's? Indeed we have! "Contract to Kill" offers nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing to the genre, and nothing that Steven Seagal haven't already done to the brink of pointlessness in one of the endless heap of movies similar to this one that he has notched on his black belt.

It used to be fun to watch Steven Seagal back in the 1980's and 1990's, but it has progressively just become more and more tiresome to watch his movies, as they are all exactly the same, year after year. It is time to branch out and try a new approach.

However, it was sort of embarrassing to witness Seagal in this movie, as he seemed like a beached whale fighting to survive as he waddled his way through scripted fighting and stuttering dialogue.

I managed to survive for about 50 minutes into "Contract to Kill", before I just simply lost the will to go on. I got up and just gave up on the movie. It offered nothing new to the genre, nor nothing new to the Seagal repertoire.

If you have seen any single one of the myriad of Steven Seagal movies in the past, then you have essentially already seen this movie as well. Trust me.

The characters in the movie were so generic that it was just amazing. They could be cut out of this movie and pasted directly into any other Seagal movie and they would fit right in. So don't get your hopes up for anything that even remotely resembles character development and progression.

This was nowhere near being anywhere near the usual entertainment, albeit its overwhelming generic entertainment, that Seagal usually delivers, and I have no intention of returning to finish the rest of the movie, because I already know exactly what will happen.

"Contract to Kill" was a wide swing and a wide miss, even for the teddy bear of action movies Steven Seagal.
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