Review of Iceman

Iceman (2017)
2/10
My mistake - I thought it would be realistic
29 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Don't ask me why, but I though this film was going to attempt realism. Realistic prehistory seems to be a rather difficult undertaking, but watching this film, I was soon sadly shaking my head until my neck started to hurt. Painful moments in the first fifteen minutes: everyone's wearing and sleeping in skins, so what's she doing at a loom? Water is needed for the ritual with the baby (some things never change), but why does the boy bring water in a large thrown pitcher, with a classically curved handle yet? The house is wattle; where's the daub -- they can't get enough of that freezing wind? And within the house, a floor? Come on. Same with the bed. "Mann Aus Dem Eis" filmmakers need to check out poor places today -- people don't have beds, they have skins (or cardboard or whatever) on the ground. The big wild hairdo's on the blond babes look great but tied back might be a tad more realistic. The total impossibility comes fifteen minutes in, the raid. People subject to raids do not live in a tiny permanent settlement (looked like about 12 people total including children?) with pigs and goats in the pen and a fire burning, advertising your presence for miles, with no lookouts, no security of any kind? They had pigs and goats, so where were their dogs? The raiders walk up and literally stab them in the back! Then the woman with the baby props a stick against her door -- huh? She would take the baby and run like a deer out the back door. Victims of the raid run between the huts -- running straight into the woods might make more sense. Then the raiders, in total control of the hapless settlement, torture the woman instead of raping her, and although there are skins hanging everywhere in the house, they burn it all down. What was the point of the raid again? For a few additional dollars I salvaged the rest of the evening with a romantic comedy.
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