Review of Crawl

Crawl (I) (2019)
1/10
I can't even with this steaming pile of Gator
7 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Oh dear God, where do I start with this one? Clearly the filmmakers have never set foot in Florida. First and foremost, there are NO crawlspaces or basements in Fla. There are very few cities where this is an exception. She tells her sister she is driving 2 hrs south on I75 from UF so that puts her squarely in Tampa. There are NO crawl spaces. None, zip, zilch, nada!!! The house is not definitely not a style found in Fla. And even the garage door is a dead giveaway. And there are no levees in Tampa. Girl gets told by her sister that there's a cat 5 currently hitting Fla and she's shocked, shocked I tell you! She would have had a week's advance notice at minimum. With all channels on 24/7 with the hurricane's path. And they would have certainly cancelled a swim meet with a hurricane a minute away! On to the actors. B movie actors, acting in a D script. Has all the hallmarks of a SyFy movie, but with a much weaker production value. Girl gets mauled in the leg by gator. She gets up and starts running! She wouldn't even be standing, but no, Forrest starts running! Gets mauled in the arm later, then starts swimming like Michael Phelps. Later still, girl swimming 5mph outswims 3 gators swimming 20mph. Gets mauled a 3rd time, with a death roll. Managed to keep that arm, then climb like an olympic climber. She's ready for the Gold! Also, Cat 5's have a minimum of 157 mph winds. In this movie, the wind was barely blowing. You would not even be able to stand in a cat 5, let alone float around in a makeshift raft or steal and ATM in a jon boat! And there is almost never thunder and lightning, but for some reason in this movie there was some every few minutes. Other stupid stuff: Eggs take 65 days to hatch, but eggs just laid there earlier that day start hatching. Gators over 9 ft are rare, but in this movie 20 ft seems to be the norm. Daddy dies twice, but miraculously is resurrected TWICE. It's a miracle! There are probably 1000 other things wrong with this movie. NOTE TO FILMMAKERS: Do research before you make a movie. Most of these errors could have been verified with a simple google search.
103 out of 144 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed