4/10
If Cujo Were Genetically Altered
26 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
"Man's Best Friend" is about a genetically altered Saint Bernard (at least that's what the dog looked like to me). Just think Cujo if he were black and spliced with a lot of other dangerous animals.

There was another movie that came out in 1993 that was based upon DNA and genes and it was exponentially better than this fetid mess. In case you haven't guessed it was "Jurassic Park."

In this hyperbolized movie in which the "dog," Max, comes across every dog hating a-hole known to man, he is given the opportunity to exact doggy revenge on them all. That's not to say that he didn't kill anyone innocent, but between the thief, the mailman who maced him, the boyfriend who tried to kill him, and the junkyard owner who mistreated him, Max had enough reason to maim, if not kill.

The movie was not good. As a production it was terrible. The plot and the characters were very flat and the experiment with visual effects was a failure. If we sideline the plot, characters, and visual effects for a second we can focus on Max. He was a genetic amalgamation of about ten different species and he didn't exhibit even one visual trait of any of them. And his ability to camouflage went well beyond anything in nature. Camouflage is usually the ability to take on the general color of one's surroundings. Max assumed the various colors, textures, and shapes of the items in a cluttered garage. To be honest, he was just plain invisible. In their efforts to make him a super killer they made him a super farce.

I guess it wouldn't make sense to do Cujo again because that had already been done. They wanted to one-up Cujo by making a dog that could run 55 mph, jump over 30 feet, climb trees, swallow whole cats, perfectly camouflage with his environment, pee acid, and chew through a brake line in an assassination attempt. "Man's Best Friend" was a joke; a comedy trying to dress itself as a thriller or horror. But we see you. Your camouflage did not work.
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