10/10
Chronicle of the Downfall of a Champion
30 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Johnny Lawrence had it all. Cheerleader girlfriend, a group of popular friends, a sweet dirt bike, and a leadership role at an afterschool program with the local martial arts studio. More importantly, he was the defending All Valley Karate Tournament champion.

Things begin to spiral when new arrival Daniel, possibly with ties to the New Jersey mafia, starts to befoul Johnny's paradise. When Johnny makes the mistake of spending one night out with the guys, Daniel tries to stalk Johnny's lady, Ali, all across the beach with his corny soccer ball gimmicks and knowing looks over his wiener-roasting spit stake.

Thus Mr. Lawrence's spiral begins. Though Johnny successfully defends himself from Daniel's cheap shot thuggery in an oceanside confrontation, Daniel will not be deterred from his obsession with the defending champ. Whether staking out Johnny's home dojo, trying to force-feed horse-history lessons on the school quad, or trying to bribe Ali with cafeteria munchables, Daniel continues his psych-war campaign which sadly has its desired effect.

In one of the worst examples of harshing someone's mellow ever captured on film, Daniel ruins both Johnny's halloween costume and sweet green persuasion in an unprovoked aquatic attack in that most sacred of shrines, the public restroom. Finally at the end of his rope, Johnny harnesses his cardio training and precision striking to attempt to put an end to Daniel's abuse once and for all. However, it was not to be. Johnny sinks further into his personal abyss after being assaulted by a deranged handyman.

Emboldened by his Okinawan ally, Daniel once again tries to interfere with Johnny and Ali's relationship. Just as the star-crossed lovers reunited with a passionate kiss at the local country club, Daniel managed to ruin the moment by intentionally spilling a huge platter of spaghetti, destroying a waiter's only tuxedo in the process.

Somehow our imperfect hero Johnny manages to persevere through Daniel's demented parlor games, making his way once again to the finals of the All Valley tournament. Sadly capitalizing on a questionable disqualification, Daniel somehow makes his way to the finals as well against the incumbent title-holder. Milking a pseudo-injury for additional rest time, Daniel fake-limps to the mat for the final showdown. While we will never know if there was a deleted scene involving bribes to the shoddy referee, the calls made in the final best-of-five battle remove any doubt that Daniel either paid or blackmailed the official just enough to cheat his way into a 2-2 tie before stealing Johnny's trophy with an illegal kick.

The film culminates in Johnny's Christlike forgiveness of Daniel's transgressions as Mr. Lawrence hands over the ill-gotten trophy to Daniel, a symbolic crucifixion with the crown of thorns represented by Johnny's ever-present headband.

If you read this far you can probably tell I love this movie. 10/10.
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