andrewroy-04316 Review of Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020)

An extremely well directed story highlighting the massive gap between male and female experience

[8/10 · 27 October 2020]

Never Rarely Sometimes Always is, at its core, a movie about empathy. We see the world from the perspective of an ordinary 17 year old Pennsylvania girl, and what we see is many subtle but clear hints that while many of the people in powerful positions in her life are men, they have no understanding or appreciation for the things Autumn has to go through. Her boss is a great example of this, being completely unsympathetic to her not feeling good and needing to go home, but there are no shortage of examples, from the subway worker who gives them very curt directions, to the boy on the bus who sees no problem with badgering two girls minding their own business. Some of the personal, private events in women's lives, which abortion is the most extreme example of, simply aren't considered by men as something that they could be going through. In contrast to this complete lack of understanding, you see all the women Autumn meets have an understanding of how difficult this is for her. The bond between Skylar and Autumn is essential to the movie and I love the unwavering support we see from Skylar throughout the movie. This is a fairly minimalist film, with just a few big events, a few characters, and a focus on a couple ideas that are explored deeply. Hittman does a fantastic job of showing character reactions, particularly the discomfort and exhaustion Autumn feels throughout the process, and Skylar's understanding and constant support. Hittman just as pointedly emphasizes the complete lack of understanding of their need for empathy and space, instead seeing it as their right to ask whatever they want and impose as they please (we see this primarily from Jasper). The scenes that really drove this home and were painful to watch were as Skylar sees that she has no alternatives, to make it home she has to make out with this guy who just sees her as an attractive object. She's willing to do that for Autumn, but realizing the complete disconnect between Jasper's perception and reality, and realizing the way Skylar accepts the transactional nature of the interaction really hits home. This is a great movie, and one that reminded me to step back and recognize that women have to go through things and think about things I will never have to, and that it's important to avoid making assumptions about what women have or have not gone through.