What an awful movie. When I thought the other movie set the bar low this one did an even worst job. Apparently the first movie was such a bomb you wouldn't think in a million years this would have came out. As usually when film production companies lose MILLIONS or so Wikipedia the worlds most reliable website for facts says you'd think that there is no sequels.
Our hero starts off in a wet dream of an action movie with his now wife caked in so much makeup to make her look like a super model or whatever your definition of beautiful is. He's in some really poor attempt at a James bond like opening that is poorly scored as he fights in a filthy train. There's quite a bit of CGI in this movie it seems. The fight scene has more cuts than the audience of a My Chemical Romance concert how many takes there are to make the fights look the way they do. I'm no feminist but when did it become ok to hit women in action movies. I know it's a fight and not domestic abuse but god damn! I thought JCVD among others got in trouble for antics like that off the screen that ruined some celebrities careers. Yet in this it's ok between this and the fight scene with the two 3/4 naked Asian girls with glowing tattoos that reminds me of the opening to the James Bond film "A view to kill" from.1985 with Timothy Dalton and Dolph Lundgren makes a brief cameo in it.
At least in this movie our hero doesn't lose almost every fight. Then we cut to a really cheesy fighting game or action tv show like opening that is not needed. This movie has a TON of filler to get to that near 2 hours mark. Did it need to be that padded out. I guess there's plenty of room for people to get another bag of chips or have a smoke break I guess. Hopefully it's stronger than tobacco to enjoy this turd.
Now that 007 Skyfall I mean the opening is over our hero gets forced back to Thailand. Christopher Lambert talks the entire movie in that Raiden from Mortal Kombat voice the whole movie and it gets old. I'm surprised Christopher didn't get hit at all when our hero wins the last fight. That was one big complaint I had with this bargain bin reject movie. I love how when he wakes up in a Thai jail he's naked and he's back to his bullying ways beating up people smaller than him in one of the only two cool scenes in the movie. I love how there's a few scenes he can say to people I'm going to break your nose and then seconds later poof! Broken nose! He should pick JCVD some lottery ticket numbers so he wouldn't have to keep being in movies like this. The jail fight scene where he goes all over reminds me of an old nintendo game from the 80s called Kung Fu. The one you progress up to the top of this kung fu tower to save your girlfriend. There is a silly amount of male on male bondage in this movie. Three times you'll see Kurt (our "hero) get whipped. Did the director have a fetish I thought the guy on Nickelodeon was bad with his foot fetishes.
I despise the style of subtitles this movie has. It looks so out of place. Yet they returned!
Mike Tyson's parts were fun but were not needed other than to sell a few tickets to this like the movie he did with Steven Seagal where he knocks Steven out. After Mike knocks Kurt out all of a sudden Mike is a sparring partner and they become friends.. no idea why but that seemed too convenient like a lot of nonsense in this movie. However they really stroked Mikes ego making him punch through a lot of stuff.
I wonder if JCVD has taken his sunglasses off since the first movie. Now that he's blind it actually makes sense as how often he wore them in the first movie you'd think he was. He's very forgetful in this movie other than a scene or two. Instead we are more focused on our underwear model hero.
I never understood the training blindfolded. This isn't blood sport. They might as well save them for when Kurt gets whipped next time to spice things up. Give him a few more weeks and he'll enjoy it.
The main bad guy looks like someones fat drunk uncle or father at a barbecue. On the other hand he looks like such a nice guy and instead should should be on the cover of a bear magazine for those into bears (strong, big, sort of fat hairy men). They claim the bear is the strongest in the world. Yet you'd have to be drunker than the father or uncle this person resembles in ones life to write such a script or cast someone that is not intimidating like this guy. Even when he hits Kurts sort of hot wife which she is probably bullet proof from the amount of makeup she has on and wakes up from a coma I still don't hate him as much as other villains in action movies.
I'll give the movie some credit it's less tv movie considering not everyone is hot or handsome. At times the audio is very poorly synced , yet some scenes they most likely bought or the way they were shot look great in this low budget movie.
I'm amazed at how often Kurt is allowed out of jail to "Train" this movie is the epitome of a bad fan fiction about any show, anime or movie. Almost nothing original has happened in this and it feels really uninspired to the point you question why JCVD would even put his name on this.
The black light fight with the 3/4 naked women was pretty cool, their tattoos glowing was a nice touch. However the fight was pretty bland. I'm just glad it wasn't men with glowing tattoos that were 3/4 naked.
The last fight goes on forever. Why does every fighting movie get the hero to climb on top of a giant to get some free strikes. It reminds me of in Hitman Absolution the video game where Agent 47 fights against. Sanchez. The last fight is absolutely insulting. Between every round the super human fighter Kurt is up against is pumping more magic steroids in. You'd think they take longer to get in your system. Then again this fight goes on for a stupidly long time.
I have no idea why they are using swords again. Luckily they come and go quicker than Christopher would last with those hot Asian girls that are always around him. The Kurt is "Dead" for over 5+ minutes is so silly. He would wake up as a vegetable if he started breathing. I think the doctor who put those magic steroids together should work somewhere else. How did the wife know the drugs would work on him and for how long they would take to kick in. Did it really matter with the blind fold? He takes it off after 3 or so minutes so was it really worth it? Other than maybe some eye candy or whatever for a potential trailer.
I love how near the end of the fight to keep people interested they need Kurt to do these girly flip kicks and all to wake up the bored people watching this. Are they cheering because Kurt is winning after being almost drowned and brought back to life or are they fans of gymnastics? After the fight is over Kurt doesn't even touch a hair on Christopher's head.. nope! Just gets his money it seems and goes home as at the end of the credits he's back to another rip off UFC fight.
What would have made this movie better?
Less filler a scarier bad guy, they bill him up quite well but he's too nice looking Christopher getting beaten at the end less filler a better paced and believable story a better written story less filler ... in fact, it would have been better this not come out at all.
Our hero starts off in a wet dream of an action movie with his now wife caked in so much makeup to make her look like a super model or whatever your definition of beautiful is. He's in some really poor attempt at a James bond like opening that is poorly scored as he fights in a filthy train. There's quite a bit of CGI in this movie it seems. The fight scene has more cuts than the audience of a My Chemical Romance concert how many takes there are to make the fights look the way they do. I'm no feminist but when did it become ok to hit women in action movies. I know it's a fight and not domestic abuse but god damn! I thought JCVD among others got in trouble for antics like that off the screen that ruined some celebrities careers. Yet in this it's ok between this and the fight scene with the two 3/4 naked Asian girls with glowing tattoos that reminds me of the opening to the James Bond film "A view to kill" from.1985 with Timothy Dalton and Dolph Lundgren makes a brief cameo in it.
At least in this movie our hero doesn't lose almost every fight. Then we cut to a really cheesy fighting game or action tv show like opening that is not needed. This movie has a TON of filler to get to that near 2 hours mark. Did it need to be that padded out. I guess there's plenty of room for people to get another bag of chips or have a smoke break I guess. Hopefully it's stronger than tobacco to enjoy this turd.
Now that 007 Skyfall I mean the opening is over our hero gets forced back to Thailand. Christopher Lambert talks the entire movie in that Raiden from Mortal Kombat voice the whole movie and it gets old. I'm surprised Christopher didn't get hit at all when our hero wins the last fight. That was one big complaint I had with this bargain bin reject movie. I love how when he wakes up in a Thai jail he's naked and he's back to his bullying ways beating up people smaller than him in one of the only two cool scenes in the movie. I love how there's a few scenes he can say to people I'm going to break your nose and then seconds later poof! Broken nose! He should pick JCVD some lottery ticket numbers so he wouldn't have to keep being in movies like this. The jail fight scene where he goes all over reminds me of an old nintendo game from the 80s called Kung Fu. The one you progress up to the top of this kung fu tower to save your girlfriend. There is a silly amount of male on male bondage in this movie. Three times you'll see Kurt (our "hero) get whipped. Did the director have a fetish I thought the guy on Nickelodeon was bad with his foot fetishes.
I despise the style of subtitles this movie has. It looks so out of place. Yet they returned!
Mike Tyson's parts were fun but were not needed other than to sell a few tickets to this like the movie he did with Steven Seagal where he knocks Steven out. After Mike knocks Kurt out all of a sudden Mike is a sparring partner and they become friends.. no idea why but that seemed too convenient like a lot of nonsense in this movie. However they really stroked Mikes ego making him punch through a lot of stuff.
I wonder if JCVD has taken his sunglasses off since the first movie. Now that he's blind it actually makes sense as how often he wore them in the first movie you'd think he was. He's very forgetful in this movie other than a scene or two. Instead we are more focused on our underwear model hero.
I never understood the training blindfolded. This isn't blood sport. They might as well save them for when Kurt gets whipped next time to spice things up. Give him a few more weeks and he'll enjoy it.
The main bad guy looks like someones fat drunk uncle or father at a barbecue. On the other hand he looks like such a nice guy and instead should should be on the cover of a bear magazine for those into bears (strong, big, sort of fat hairy men). They claim the bear is the strongest in the world. Yet you'd have to be drunker than the father or uncle this person resembles in ones life to write such a script or cast someone that is not intimidating like this guy. Even when he hits Kurts sort of hot wife which she is probably bullet proof from the amount of makeup she has on and wakes up from a coma I still don't hate him as much as other villains in action movies.
I'll give the movie some credit it's less tv movie considering not everyone is hot or handsome. At times the audio is very poorly synced , yet some scenes they most likely bought or the way they were shot look great in this low budget movie.
I'm amazed at how often Kurt is allowed out of jail to "Train" this movie is the epitome of a bad fan fiction about any show, anime or movie. Almost nothing original has happened in this and it feels really uninspired to the point you question why JCVD would even put his name on this.
The black light fight with the 3/4 naked women was pretty cool, their tattoos glowing was a nice touch. However the fight was pretty bland. I'm just glad it wasn't men with glowing tattoos that were 3/4 naked.
The last fight goes on forever. Why does every fighting movie get the hero to climb on top of a giant to get some free strikes. It reminds me of in Hitman Absolution the video game where Agent 47 fights against. Sanchez. The last fight is absolutely insulting. Between every round the super human fighter Kurt is up against is pumping more magic steroids in. You'd think they take longer to get in your system. Then again this fight goes on for a stupidly long time.
I have no idea why they are using swords again. Luckily they come and go quicker than Christopher would last with those hot Asian girls that are always around him. The Kurt is "Dead" for over 5+ minutes is so silly. He would wake up as a vegetable if he started breathing. I think the doctor who put those magic steroids together should work somewhere else. How did the wife know the drugs would work on him and for how long they would take to kick in. Did it really matter with the blind fold? He takes it off after 3 or so minutes so was it really worth it? Other than maybe some eye candy or whatever for a potential trailer.
I love how near the end of the fight to keep people interested they need Kurt to do these girly flip kicks and all to wake up the bored people watching this. Are they cheering because Kurt is winning after being almost drowned and brought back to life or are they fans of gymnastics? After the fight is over Kurt doesn't even touch a hair on Christopher's head.. nope! Just gets his money it seems and goes home as at the end of the credits he's back to another rip off UFC fight.
What would have made this movie better?
Less filler a scarier bad guy, they bill him up quite well but he's too nice looking Christopher getting beaten at the end less filler a better paced and believable story a better written story less filler ... in fact, it would have been better this not come out at all.