Spin Me Round (2022)
6/10
Needed More Aubrey Plaza
24 February 2024
The world's DUMBEST 35 year old woman goes on a corporate mandated trip to Italy which seems like the opportunity of a lifetime. At first, Amber's plans and assumptions are within the range of normal: she thinks going to Italy even for her lame chain restaurant (which is obviously a place that rhymes with Bolive Zarden) is going to be enriching and fun. Instead, she's stuffed away with other worker drones in an ugly old motel that is located conveniently behind the CEOs lush villa misleadingly advertised in the pamphlet. They awaken on the first day to the sorts of trainings that could have just as easily have been done in the conference room of a Hilton in Bakersfield. What's more, is that the entire group is warned that legally they're not allowed to explore on their own even at night because "Italy is dangerous" and the only time they'll actually be enjoying their journey to a foreign country are on structured group field trips to places like farmer's markets.

At this point, you can't really blame her for befriending a glamorously cool but slightly evil Aubrey Plaza decked out in Italian designer clothes and playing the role of the CEOs much-beleagured personal assistant, Kat. But you start to worry about how well her brain is functioning when she doesn't get even a tiny bit suspicious when Kat drops her off at the CEO's yacht, and drives away while millionaire Nick goes about the most obvious narcissistic sexual harassment any corporate jerk of a boss could muster. Amber falls for it hook, line and sinker as though she's a 20 year old girl who has never been in a real adult relationship with a man before. Utterly starry eyed and besotted, Amber allows Nick to buy her a wildly expensive dress even as Kat clearly says "prostituta" to the sales woman in the shop while discussing the price. Upon arriving to Nick's party, everyone starts kissing Amber or dancing with her, and telling her how open-minded she is. OBVIOUSLY Nick is a creep who is used to manipulating women with money who has invited Amber to an orgy, and everyone except her knows it.

Kat takes pity on Amber, and speedily drives her away from the impending sexcapades and instead takes her out to a dine and dash gourmet meal, drinks and dancing before making out with Amber in the alley way. At this point in the movie, I'm all for it - I would have loved nothing more than for this strange Italian vacation to turn into a bisexual romance starring Aubrey Plaza. Instead, Amber nervously backs off, continues to pine over Nick and hold him blameless, at which point laugh-out-loud chaos ensues.

But even though it's funny, it's just hard to watch the movie as an adult and not realize what a dummy Amber is, and how critical her internalized misogyny and childish naivete are to the entire plot of the film. I don't know who needs to see this film, but it probably wasn't me. I was hoping for a lot more of Aubrey Plaza.
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