With his self-portrayal of his own personal disturbance and traumatic experiences in Baby Reindeer, Richard Gadd could be the new face of masochism. He spared no effort in depicting every sordid detail of being victim to rape, harassment and stalking, taking the saying "airing one's dirty laundry" to unchartered territory. When have we ever seen a survivor of such grotesque abuse approach the re-enactment of their various traumatic events, by themselves no less, with such unbridled gusto and painstaking detail?
In the public meltdown that he enacts in episode 6, Gadd described his love for Teri as being surpassed only by his self-hatred; the result of which, his epically low self-esteem, he attributed as the reason for his repeated returns to his rapist (including towards the story's conclusion), and his continued dependence on Martha and her voice messages for validation even after she had pled guilty and was sentenced to nine months in prison.
While it might seem to regular viewers that Gadd has sublimated a deeply distressing period in his life in the mid-2010s into a fearlessly creative and cathartic endeavour that ultimately culminated in this Netflix series, I think the truth is far more sinister. Gadd has finally managed to obtain the fame and approval that he admitted to desperately wanting by publicising and capitalising on his personal trauma. Baby Reindeer is his OnlyFans, with the content being his neuroses, self-loathing, public humiliation and other miscellaneous suffering, and now viewed by millions who are applauding this trauma porn.
"Truth is stranger than fiction"; this rings especially true for Gadd and Baby Reindeer. Had this story merely been fictional, it would have been an expertly crafted and enthralling story and character study. As a true story depicted by actors removed from the events, it would have been a difficult but fascinating watch. However, to have Gadd play himself is to watch him intentionally reliving his trauma and potentially retraumatising himself ostensibly because he is still very much enslaved to his special brand of shame. As such, Baby Reindeer is not the product of someone who has overcome their inner demons to finally cultivate a healthy relationship with themselves.
In the public meltdown that he enacts in episode 6, Gadd described his love for Teri as being surpassed only by his self-hatred; the result of which, his epically low self-esteem, he attributed as the reason for his repeated returns to his rapist (including towards the story's conclusion), and his continued dependence on Martha and her voice messages for validation even after she had pled guilty and was sentenced to nine months in prison.
While it might seem to regular viewers that Gadd has sublimated a deeply distressing period in his life in the mid-2010s into a fearlessly creative and cathartic endeavour that ultimately culminated in this Netflix series, I think the truth is far more sinister. Gadd has finally managed to obtain the fame and approval that he admitted to desperately wanting by publicising and capitalising on his personal trauma. Baby Reindeer is his OnlyFans, with the content being his neuroses, self-loathing, public humiliation and other miscellaneous suffering, and now viewed by millions who are applauding this trauma porn.
"Truth is stranger than fiction"; this rings especially true for Gadd and Baby Reindeer. Had this story merely been fictional, it would have been an expertly crafted and enthralling story and character study. As a true story depicted by actors removed from the events, it would have been a difficult but fascinating watch. However, to have Gadd play himself is to watch him intentionally reliving his trauma and potentially retraumatising himself ostensibly because he is still very much enslaved to his special brand of shame. As such, Baby Reindeer is not the product of someone who has overcome their inner demons to finally cultivate a healthy relationship with themselves.