Roseanne (TV Series)

It's No Place Like Home for the Holidays (1992)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Jackie Harris : I know how to get you back into the holiday spirit.

  Roseanne Conner : How?

  Jackie Harris : Let's decorate Nana Mary.

  Roseanne Conner : We can't do that, she's our grandmother. Don't you remember...

  Jackie Harris : Shh, salad spinner.

  Roseanne Conner : I'll get the tinsel.

  Beverly Harris : Girls, stop that. You're being stupid and childish. Everyone knows you string lights from the top.

• Roseanne Conner : You're gonna miss "It's a Wonderful Life".

  Darlene Conner : Well, it's on again at 9 and 9:30 and 11, and at midnight in Spanish.

• Jackie Harris : I stopped going to my therapist.

  Roseanne Conner : Why? You can't be cured.

  Jackie Harris : Fisher says I don't need it any more. He says I'm able to make my own decisions.

  Roseanne Conner : Hey! I'll be the one to tell you when you're able to make you're own decisions.

• Roseanne Conner : You be home by 8. And for every minute you're late, that's another time you gotta listen to "It's a Jim Nabors Christmas".

• Roseanne Conner : Well I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything, but these gifts suck. And Sonya's kids got all that really cool stuff. I thought we were your favorite grandkids.

  Nana Mary : You are, you are. Eventually, eventually, I'm gonna have to go live with somebody, and uh... they got a pool.

  Roseanne Conner : Well just promise us that you'll linger long enough to be a huge burden.