The Office (TV Series)

Murder (2009)

Rainn Wilson: Dwight Schrute

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dwight Schrute : You know what? You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. It doesn't pay much and you can't unionize.

• Dwight Schrute : Voodoo Mama Juju, explain your dalliance with the dark arts.

  Angela Martin : It's not my fault. I was exposed to "Harry Potter."

  Dwight Schrute : I know you did it!

  Dwight Schrute : [to the camera crew]  I know she didn't do it. It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore, I know the killer to be Phyllis, a.k.a. Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect.

• Jim Halpert : Okay, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.

  Dwight Schrute : That is correct, unless there happen to be measles present.

• Phyllis Vance : [in her game character]  "I overheard you asking the butler where the pistol was kept."

  [Michael gasps] 

  Dwight Schrute : Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm the butler. What, you were listening in on that? Oh, you rich people, you think you can do whatever you want to the servant class!

  Michael Scott : No, no, no. Don't turn this into a political thing.

  Dwight Schrute : I will poison your food.

• Dwight Schrute : Someone attack me. Kevin, go!

  Kevin Malone : No way. Last time, you pulled my pants down and then tried to choke me with my own shoelace.

  Dwight Schrute : False. I did choke you with your shoelace.

• Meredith Palmer : I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.

  Dwight Schrute : Hey, shut up, you're dead.