The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Lunar Excitation (2010)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : In a few minutes when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it? The standard "I told you so" with the classic neener-neener, or just my normal look of haughty derision?

  [makes a face] 

  Raj Koothrappali : You don't know we're wrong yet.

  Sheldon Cooper : Haughty derision it is.

  [makes the same face again] 

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Excuse me. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler, you're Sheldon Cooper.

  Sheldon Cooper : Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery. In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.

  Sheldon Cooper : Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well then, you might want to avoid East Texas.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Noted. Now before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact, up to and including coitus, are off the table.

  Sheldon Cooper : May I buy you a beverage?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Tepid water, please.

  [Sheldon and Amy walk over to the counter] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [to Raj]  Good God, what have we done?

• Penny : Damn you, you rat bastard!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Are you drunk?

  Penny : Zack was a perfectly nice guy and then you *ruined* him!

  Leonard Hofstadter : How did I ruin him?

  Penny : 'Cause in the olden days I never would have known he was so stupid.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Come on, he wasn't that stupid.

  Penny : Yes he *was*! He thought you were going to blow up the *moon*!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, yeah, he's stupid

  [laughs] 

  Penny : He spent the entire night bragging about how *he* invented the word appeteezers!

  Leonard Hofstadter : [still laughing]  Well, how is that my fault?

  Penny : You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots, now come with me.

  [grabs Leonard's hand and starts pulling him behind her] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : W-where are we going?

  Penny : [shouts]  We're gonna have *SEX*!

  Leonard Hofstadter : Wha- I mean oh, OK.

  Sheldon Cooper : [comes out of his bedroom]  What's going on?

  Penny : Put on your noise cancelling headphones, this is gonna get *loud*.

  Sheldon Cooper : Ach, not *this* again.

  [goes back into his room] 

• Zack : Is that the laser? Bitchin'.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, in 1917 when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.

  Zack : Well, mission accomplished.

• Sheldon Cooper : FYI, my noise-cancelling headphones proved ineffective last night.

  Penny : Yeah, sorry about that.

  Sheldon Cooper : As a native Texan, I must say I've never heard the phrase 'yeeehaw' used in quite that context.

  Penny : Oh God!

  [she leaves] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, God. That I've heard on multiple occasions.

• Zack : One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?

  Leonard Hofstadter : The laser?

  Zack : The moon!

  Sheldon Cooper : See, now this is a man for Penny.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That's a great question, Zack!

  Sheldon Cooper : No, it's not!

  Penny : Sheldon, play nice.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, it's not a great question! How could someone possibly think we're going to blow up the moon? That's a great question.

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to Zack]  Don't worry about the moon. We... , we set our laser to stun.

• Zack : That's your big experiment? All that for a line on a screen?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, but, uh, think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon, put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.

  Zack : What species is that?

  Sheldon Cooper : I was wrong. Penny can do better.

• Raj Koothrappali : Sheldon, I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof somewhere in your apartment. Unless you're willing to come with us to meet this girl, it will remain there... forever.

  Sheldon Cooper : You're bluffing.

  Raj Koothrappali : Are you willing to risk it?

  Sheldon Cooper : Curse you.

• Sheldon Cooper : But for the record, I only drink hot chocolate in months with an R in them.

  Howard Wolowitz : Why?

  Sheldon Cooper : What's life without whimsy.

• [first lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : OK, we've got power to the laser.

  Sheldon Cooper : I should have brought an umbrella.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What for? It's not going to rain.

  Sheldon Cooper : I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moonburn is a real possibility.

  Howard Wolowitz : That's a bazinga, right?

  Sheldon Cooper : One of my best, don't you think?

• Sheldon Cooper : Leonard. Leonard. What is that? What is that?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Relax, it's just a dirty sock.

  Sheldon Cooper : How on earth can you can say "dirty sock" and "relax" in the same sentence?

• Leonard Hofstadter : She didn't dump me. We were just in different places in the relationship.

  Sheldon Cooper : I fail to see how a relationship can have the qualities of a geographic location.

  Howard Wolowitz : Well, it's very simple. Leonard was living in a little town called Please Don't Leave Me, while Penny had just moved to the island of Buh-Bye.

• Sheldon Cooper : When one gets beaten up every other day in school, one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing. Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as one.

• Sheldon Cooper : In what universe is that lightly toasted?

• Sheldon Cooper : I have no difficulty believing you're not butter.

• [Howard and Raj are trying to convince Sheldon to meet Amy] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Come on, where's your scientific curiosity?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, most of it is being applied to unraveling secrets of the universe, while the rest of it's wondering why I'm having this conversation with you.

• Sheldon Cooper : In what universe is this low pulp?

• Leonard Hofstadter : Where's Penny?

  Sheldon Cooper : She returned to her apartment. I presume to shower and vomit, not necessarily in that order.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I wonder why she didn't say goodbye.

  Sheldon Cooper : Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behavior?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I know. I just thought as an outsider, you might be able to provide a fresh perspective.