The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Ornithophobia Diffusion (2011)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : It's not a date, Leonard. It's just a man and a woman hanging out, not having sex at the end of the night.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sounds like most of my dates.

• Penny : So what are you and professor Fussy Face up to tonight?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Star Wars on Blu-Ray.

  Penny : Haven't you seen that movie like a thousand times?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Not on Blu-Ray.

  [pauses] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Only twice on Blu-Ray.

• Penny : We were going out, you were going to get sex anyway

  Leonard Hofstadter : Really? You would've slept with me after a three hour documentary about dams?

  Penny : No, no woman would

• Penny : I want to know what you told her.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That's kind of between me and...

  [looks over at Laura] 

  Laura : Laura.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Laura.

  Penny : Oh. Okay, I see. So while he was telling you things, did he mention he owns not one, but two Star Trek uniforms?

  Laura : Really?

  Penny : Yeah. Wears them. Not just for Halloween.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, pal. You didn't see me telling Kevin that you thought cold wars were only fought in winter.

  Penny : Okay. Then I'll return the favor, and I won't tell...

  [looks over at Laura] 

  Laura : Laura.

  Penny : Laura... that half the dirty movies you own are animated.

  Leonard Hofstadter : When you were telling Kevin about your acting career, did you mention your long-running role as "Waitress" in a local production of "The Cheesecake Factory"?

  Penny : Did you tell her about your lucky asthma inhaler?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, yeah? Spell asthma.

  Penny : A... s...

  [pauses] 

  Penny : Take me home.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Maybe I'm not done hanging out with...

  [looks over the table and notices that Laura is gone] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : You're right. It's getting late.

• Penny : [to Leonard]  I'm not innocent in all this but you basically called me stupid you asthmatic dumbass

• Penny : [about Kevin]  He's cute, look at him with his dorky glasses and hipster shirts

  Leonard Hofstadter : I wear dorky shirts and glasses

  Penny : Yeah but when you're tall and have good cheekbones, you're doing it ironically

• Penny : Oh, hey. If we hurry, we can make the new Jennifer Aniston movie.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, yeah, sure. There's also an amazing documentary about building a dam on a river in South America.

  Penny : OK, but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston, and she's not building a dam.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Can't argue with that. I'll get the tickets.

• Penny : Really? On top of everything, you're scared of birds?

  Sheldon Cooper : It's called Ornithophobia, one day it will be recognized as a true disability and the landlord will be required by law to throw a giant net over the building which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets

• Leonard Hofstadter : We're not ready to hang out as friends

  Penny : I don't know, up until the last part I was really enjoying take charge Leonard, knew what you wanted, picking the movie even a little cocky

  Leonard Hofstadter : Then maybe I'm putting sex back on the table

  Penny : Maybe I like that

  Leonard Hofstadter : If that's what you like, I can be that guy, I can be anything you want

  Penny : Goodnight Leonard

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to himself]  I am such an asthmatic dumbass

• Penny : You like those movies

  Leonard Hofstadter : No I hate those movies, I only saw them cause you wanted to and I wanted to have sex