The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Tam Turbulence (2018)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : Tam Nguyen?
Tam Nguyen : Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard Wolowitz : No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam Nguyen : Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard Hofstadter : If you mean physically, yes.
Howard Wolowitz : If you mean every other way, no.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Why did you and Sheldon stop being friends? What did you do?
Raj Koothrappali : And don't worry, even though we just met you, we think you're right and he's wrong.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I'm glad you guys made up.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, I realized my life turned out great, and it's silly to hold a grudge.
Tam Nguyen : And I had no idea we were fighting, so it was easy.
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Amy Farrah Fowler : Hey, did you guys know that Sheldon a best friend growing up named Tam?
Leonard Hofstadter : Was that the imaginary talking koala?
Amy Farrah Fowler : No. He's a real person who apparently betrayed him.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, so did the koala.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I tried to ask him about it, and he invoked section three, article five of the marriage contract: "beeswax, none of your". I can't pry. I mean, I have to respect his wishes.
Howard Wolowitz : Wow. I wonder what that guy could've done to make Sheldon not talk to him for twenty years.
Leonard Hofstadter : I wonder if it'd work a second time.
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George Cooper, Jr. : Yeah, sure, I remember Tam, Sheldon's little Vietnam buddy. The two of them were always running around together.
Leonard Hofstadter : So, what happened?
George Cooper, Jr. : What do you mean?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, I mean, Sheldon never talks about him. They haven't spoken in years. He wasn't at the wedding.
George Cooper, Jr. : He wasn't? All right, well, this is embarrassing, 'cause I had a long conversation with someone who I thought was Tam.
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Raj Koothrappali : So you don't know what their fight was about?
George Cooper, Jr. : I wish I could help you, boys. But, you know, Sheldon used to keep an enemies list when he was a kid.
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, he still does.
George Cooper, Jr. : Really? I figured that went the same way as his bathroom schedule.
Howard Wolowitz : If you mean digitized, annotated and put online, it did.
George Cooper, Jr. : Maybe that'll tell you something. Hey, while you're looking at it, if I'm still on there for peeing in his shampoo bottle... eh, you know what? Just leave it.
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Howard Wolowitz : All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name, or length of grudge.
Raj Koothrappali : Is Tam on it?
Howard Wolowitz : Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard Hofstadter : Great. What did he do?
Howard Wolowitz : Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay. "Which of these are plants?". And we're in.
Raj Koothrappali : Great. What-what does it say?
Howard Wolowitz : Well... "He knows what he did."
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Raj Koothrappali : If Tam knows what he did, we can just ask him. He's gonna be on campus tomorrow showing his son around.
Leonard Hofstadter : Won't that make Sheldon mad?
Raj Koothrappali : Everything makes Sheldon mad.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah. Look at his list. Jim Henson for, quote, "putting a terrifying, giant yellow bird on television and in my nightmares."
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Leonard Hofstadter : You know, I was curious to find out what Tam had done wrong. Why am I not surprised the answer is nothing?
Sheldon Cooper : So you're taking his side. You scurvy dog. You watch yourself; there is room on my enemies list now that the cafeteria ladies finally told me what's in the chili. By the way, don't eat the chili. Wait, wait, wait. You know what? Do.
Leonard Hofstadter : [turning to leave] Be careful, Sheldon. I don't think you can afford to lose a second best friend. I don't see anyone lining up to be your third.
Sheldon Cooper : D... wait.
[typing on his laptop]
Sheldon Cooper : "Snarky comebacks..." Oh, here we go. "You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?"
[rolling his eyes, Leonard leaves]
Sheldon Cooper : That was harsh, but he was asking for it.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I still can't believe Sheldon had a best friend we've never heard about.
Raj Koothrappali : [singsong] Ooh, somebody's jealous.
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm not jealous.
Howard Wolowitz : Leonard, this is a safe space. It's okay to be vulnerable.
Leonard Hofstadter : All I'm saying is you know the timing of a fellow's bowel movements, you don't think there's a lot left to discover.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What is going on with you?
Sheldon Cooper : I don't want to talk about it.
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, I'm sure you have a perfectly stupid reason.
Sheldon Cooper : I don't do anything for a stupid reason. Except perhaps Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'd argue that's more whimsical than stupid.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Sounds like Penny and Bernadette had fun last night.
Howard Wolowitz : I know. Bernie came home pretty drunk. She tried to sleep in the dryer.