The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Tam Turbulence (2018)
Melissa Rauch: Bernadette Rostenkowski
Photos
Quotes
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hi, daddy. No, everything's good. I just have a favor to ask. Yeah, so, my friend Raj is marrying this woman that he barely knows, and I wanted to see if you could use your connections to dig up any dirt on her. Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Love you.
Penny Hofstadter : [she hangs up] Is he in?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Absolutely not. He won't do it. It's totally illegal.
Penny Hofstadter : I thought you said he played by his own rules.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : He does, but apparently, they're very similar to the actual rules.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Check it out. LeBron James posted a picture of me and him on Instagram.
Penny Hofstadter : I don't see you.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Look right behind him.
Penny Hofstadter : [looking closer and squinting] No.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Okay. You see that table just past his left shoulder? Now go back two more tables and over to the right.
Penny Hofstadter : All I see is a yellow smudge.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : That's me!
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Raj Koothrappali : [On the phone] Just do me a favor and stay away from her.
[Hangs up]
Penny Hofstadter : Ugh, God, now I feel bad.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I know. Maybe we should take her out again and do some damage control.
Penny Hofstadter : You know, that's a good idea. Think she can get us into SoHo House?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [acting giddy] I don't know, but we owe it to Raj to try.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : So, are you actually engaged to this woman you just met?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah.
Penny Hofstadter : Tell us the truth. Did she get you pregnant?
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Penny Hofstadter : I'm really worried about this whole Raj thing.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I know. He's so desperate to get married, which is weird, because I can't imagine we make it look that great.
Penny Hofstadter : I know, right? You know, if this woman's gonna be around, I think we should check her out a little. I looked online; she doesn't have an Instagram, which means she's either 80 or something's wrong with her.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Ooh, I could ask my dad. Maybe he can get some of his old cop buddies to do a background check on her.
Penny Hofstadter : Can he do that?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Of course. He's a retired cop who plays by his own rules.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hey, Raj, I'm here with Penny.
Raj Koothrappali : What the hell did you two say to Anu?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [innocently] Uh... whatever do you mean?
Raj Koothrappali : Why, why would you tell her I wear ladies' deodorant?
Penny Hofstadter : [laughing] Uh, because you're a boy and it's really funny.
Raj Koothrappali : Oh, oh, okay. Pardon me for having the confidence to smell daisy-fresh.