sb-29 Reviews

Heroin(e) (2017)

Is That It ??

[3/10 · 16 August 2021]

I've been seeing this popup in the Netflix feed for quite some time and finally got around to watching it.

1. Its way too short to provide any kind of coverage of the topic 2. Its completely one-sided from the point of view of the state services.

As others have said, apart from saying the overdoses are getting worse, I didn't really get anything at all from this movie.

At the end it just felt like a particularly boring episode of "Cops".

If you want something that even remotely scratches the surface of the drug issues in the USA, please watch the 4 part series called "The Pharmacist" also on Netflix.

The Midnight Sky (2020)

Death

[3/10 · 24 April 2021]

You know when you spend 6 months or a few years of your life watching a sick relative die?

At the end you feel like you've grown as a person and it makes life seem a little less to be taken for granted.

Also a period of your life that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

Well... that's pretty much this movie...

Plus bonus plot holes.

Avoid.

Deadly Illusions (2021)

Entertaining "less than soft core" porn

[7/10 · 24 April 2021]

I must be one of the few people on the planet who enjoyed this movie.

It was sexy without removing hardly any clothes. It certainly didn't take itself seriously. The actors did a fine job of telling the story however lame, and were all beautiful.

Looked like a lot of fun to make. If you like movies made by "The Asylum" production company this is of a similar B movie puedo porn style.

There are far worse things to watch.

The Vault (2021)

Watchable garbage

[4/10 · 12 April 2021]

Let's see, some promising talent, pretty production design, some kind of story.

But apart from that, I just couldn't get past the one HUGE gaping plot hole.

Spoiler alert: So, the "vault" is protected by some elegant mechanism that trips a ton of water when someone enters it and the weight changes right ? Ok.... ?

So, exactly, HOW do you put something IN the vault in the first place ????

In order to do that, you need to have some system to turn the scales and water system OFF.

If there is a system to turn it OFF to get stuff in and out, then they could of and should have overridden that system, just like they did all the other systems.

Case closed.

Also, when they get inside the vault, it seems that the ONLY thing in it is the treasure from the shipwreck at the beginning.

So... nothing else that valuable in Spain worth storing in the most secure vault ??

Yeah, so ... all in all... stuff that really spoiled my enjoyment of what could have been an OK movie.

In addition, not really one single clever, new, security defeating technique is shown.

The bit at the end with the other treasure located under the Bank of England is a bit of a joke also.

Hoping for a sequel ?? Not a chance.

Formula 1: Drive to Survive: Man On Fire (2021) Season 3, Episode 9

Milked but still Emmy calibre

[10/10 · 9 April 2021]

This episode really deserves some kind of award. Great writing, music, editing, photography and two beautifully interwoven storylines that talk about two different Men on Fire.

Utoya: July 22 (2018)

Cheap, Amateurish, Overrated

[1/10 · 17 December 2020]

As another reviewer has said...this movie looks like they spared every expense to make. No music, no actors, no script, some gunshot effects, some tents and a boat. That's it. Maybe some mud.

There is nothing in this movie apart from kids running and hiding from the sounds of gunshots.

Yes it does give you a feeling of what it may have been like for them but does it give us Knowledge? Entertainment? Insight? No.

I watched this after watching the totally "brilliant in comparison" movie by Paul Greengrass which has a well spent budget, terrific acting and a wealth of information.

Anyone who says this movie is better than that one is a either à studio astroturfer or a fool. Either way, it's a lie. Now I guess it's time to find some documentaries on the subject.

The Last Ship: Warriors (2018) Season 5, Episode 5

Worst episode of show by far

[1/10 · 28 September 2019]

I'd been waiting for that one episode where the creators get too full of themselves and go off the rails. Remember the fly episode of Breaking Bad? I assumed the drugged up Slattery reminiscing in Season 4 was it, but nooooo.... Season 5 has this steaming pile of s**t I was a tad concerned by the budget not stretching to even a cheaply rendered shot of a battleship in the previous episode, but this... This is something else. I had to zip forward through a lot of the dialogue. The cuts were ridiculous. Just erase this episode from the show please. Don't even bother trying to watch it.

Banshee: The Truth About Unicorns (2014) Season 2, Episode 5

What a pile of garbage.

[1/10 · 9 May 2018]

Skip this episode and move on to the next. Reminds me of the Fly episode of Breaking Bad only worse.

Dennis Rodman's Big Bang in PyongYang (2015)

Highly Recommended

[8/10 · 30 September 2016]

This movie is both educational and entertaining. It shows some remarkable footage from North Korea and in some ways is a lot like The Interview … except this is all for real!

Dennis Rodman comes off as both an inspirational figure and yet one who has many personal inner demons that he is struggling with.

There is a lot of crazy heavy stuff that happens in the movie which is beautifully made light of by the very cheery and eloquent Irish narrator, without whom the film could have been much more dark and maybe a bit of a mess.

The basketball matches Rodman manages to arrange and the coverage of them really hits you emotionally with regard to what he actually achieved. It was a historical event that will be remembered for a long time by all involved, and I'm so happy that the footage was captured, beautifully and allowed to be shown in this movie.

This movie leaves me thinking that engaging with the North Korean people and leadership through this kind of activity is the only way anything is ever going to change. Although for the common people the kind of change which the west is looking for, is maybe not what is good or best for them.

Apart from some of the regime's human rights and warmongering issues, it would be nice if the country were left in some kind of peaceful yet anti-globalist state.

Mr. Robot (2015–2019)

Addictive yet utter garbage

[3/10 · 6 September 2016]

I was fooled by some media article that said that this show had realistic technology for a change, but actually, the technology is just the same bullshit but with real software screenshots instead of purely made up, and from realism point of view is not much better than 24 was.

The plot started off in some kind of direction and then just went off into character development of the uninteresting and unlikable characters.

Seems as if each episode was written from scratch with no specific end point on the horizon. Remember when writers had an idea about what the story was about before they started writing ?

I swore I wouldn't watch season 2 after the dismal season 1, but here I am on episode 3 of season 2, and I just finally have to switch it off. I don't think anyone touched a computer so far, Tyrell the most interesting character has vanished, and some of the other interesting actors have been replaced by far more annoying people.

How this garbage made it to season 3 is beyond me. Can we all just please stop watching it, then it will go away and its budget could be used for more interesting stuff.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

Disney Star Wars. Good Enough.

[7/10 · 16 December 2015]

Just got back from a pretty early showing in Manila. The real winner here was the production design and art direction which beautifully created an up to date version of the star wars universe whilst lovingly staying faithful to everything from the earliest movies. Together with the awesome special effects and locations the movie looked stunning.

Unfortunately the story and the concepts in the movie just really felt like a remake of episode iv (the original 77 movie). Many of the key elements were simply redone. As for twists and turns just think of any long running soap and you'll have an idea.

The music also had some nice new pieces mingled in with the main themes. Basically this is Disney star wars nostalgia and we'll never get tired of whatever is dished up. In the same way as the 007 franchise, we will whine a little and then continue to watch the next one. Just the music themes and the sound of droids bleeping, phasers blasting, and dark lords breathing heavy will give us a rush no matter what.

Skyfall (2012)

Massive Spoilers Ahead

[6/10 · 13 November 2012]

Here's my condensed review for the ADD society we have become.

What's good about it:.

1. New Q.

2. Ralph Fienes as future new M.

3. Old Aston Martin cameo.

4. Shanghai and Macau scenes photography.

5. Scenic photography of Scotland.

6. Nice London tube scenes and stunts.

7. Honest portrayal of UK weather.

8. Half decent motorbike chase at beginning.

9. Good music.

What's bad about it:.

1. Ridiculous Villain (acting, makeup, you name it).

2. Too serious, not enough fun.

3. Nothing we haven't seen before happens.

4. No decent cars or gadgets.

5. This Bond is looking too old already, never liked him anyway.

6. Bond girls were super average.

7. Villain had no decent evil plan.

Overall pretty unsatisfying, which has pretty much been the case since Craig took over the role.

I'm sure it'll still make baskets of money though.

Mission Impossible 4 was a way better "Bond movie" in every way.

For the next one how about:.

1. Clive Owen as 007 (which he has always wanted).

2. Mark Strong as the evil villain.

3. Spielberg to direct (which he wanted in the past).

4. Aaron Sorkin for the screenplay.

5. Emily Browning (tarted up like Sucker Punch) as the bond girl.

Now that's something I would pay to see. :-)

Wild Things: Foursome (2010 Video)

Wow, I'm the first person to see this ???

[7/10 · 21 May 2010]

Saw this on a "pre-screening" it seems. Wasn't really expecting anything, but hoping for some kind of titillation, having seen the first in the series.

Well, the movie started with some bikini babes and a poorly edited speed boat race which didn't really give me high hopes, but as the movie progressed I found myself getting more and more sucked in.

There was at least one scene to satisfy the sex maniacs, but overall the movie concentrated on beautiful people, and a murder mystery type plot with some nice twists and turns. Along with nice Florida weather and scenery.

Overall the movie was very entertaining and nicely photographed. The stars, although pretty much unknown, seem like they could all continue on to bigger better things, especially the girls who've all obviously been spending a lot of time in the gym in addition to their already having gifted gene-pools.

Definitely worth seeing, but don't expect too much needless to say. Its like a very good TV movie.

Che: Part One (2008)

Couldn't waste my time

[4/10 · 11 March 2010]

I always say that I can tell whether a movie is going to be great or bad just by watching the first 5 mins.

Well, this one seriously failed that test. Most of the five mins was spent on a map of Cuba set to some god awful music with just place names indicated that we are gonna forget immediately.

As the movie progressed, even though I longed to find out something about this guy, I wasn't getting much at all.

So much time wasted on pointless shots and dialog of people saying "hi" to each other in Spanish and getting sick.

As I'm getting old and didn't care about a single one of the boring characters I had to turn it off. I made it about 50 mins I think. Nothing happened, nothing even looked like it was gonna happen. I'm too old to waste X hours on this drivel, so as usual I head to IMDb to check out the ratings.

Much to my surprise its a high rating, and there are pages of good reviews. Only when I got to the last few pages did I find people who agree with me that this film is drivel.

So, come on, all you others you think it sucks, please speak up now :-)

Guess I'll have to check out Wikipedia to find out what this guy really did. It'll be much quicker.

Quantum Apocalypse (2010 TV Movie)

Has some entertainment value

[5/10 · 15 February 2010]

What can I say? Hmmm... it was a hell of a lot better than Hardwired (the Cooba Gooding Jr. fiasco I watched last night).

The main actor did an awesome job as the "rain man" type savant. Consistent and entertaining.

Apart from that, the acting was funny.. It was like every actor was horribly mis-cast. Centerfold's as secretaries, aerobics teachers playing security guards, and a university professor playing the president. It was very amusing to see what kind of character would pop up next.

They did read their basic lines OK, a bit better than a porn movie without the porn.

I like any trashy sci-fi and this one held my interest until its very weak ending.

In comparison, the "budgeted", Val Kilmer starring Hardwired had me asleep in my chair.

Norbit (2007)

Well *I* really like this movie anyway ... ;-)

[7/10 · 9 November 2009]

I'm not sure how to put this... I've seen this movie maybe 4 or 5 times and it never gets old for me. Sure its certainly not politically correct but the timing and Eddie Murphy's numerous outstanding performances are just amazing. Probably some of his best performances ever.

I'll continue to watch this movie when I need something totally mindless to give me some quick laughs.

Marlon Wayans' tap dance instructor is also a hilarious performance and Thandie Newton is as hot as ever.

I'm not sure why there is a minimum length for comments of 10 lines on IMDb. Seems a bit pointless :-)

The Devil's Tomb (2009)

Not Soooo Terrible .. Watchable

[5/10 · 14 October 2009]

Well, I wasn't expecting much. I pride myself on watching the crappiest, straight to DVD garbage I can find because sometimes you can find something vaguely entertaining.

The first 10 minutes were quite awful, with none of the cast being directed, it would seem. No classic Cuba here. The older chick seemed to be the only one who has acting ability without being directed.

But later the movie picked up quite well. Some nice feelings of atmosphere, some well delivered lines, half-decent makeup effects, a naked chick and some girl on girl kissing. So, at this point, its beat many of the other straight to video sci-fi garbage I've seen.

So as this kind of movie goes, I'm pretty satisfied, it was entertaining. But yeah, as others have said, the religious theme and story are pretty lame. And the lighting is just too clean and crisp for my liking.

Jason Connery's effort, although not Duel or Jaws, certainly shows some signs of ability. I would suggest he keeps trying.

Up (2009)

Yes, finally quite a failure for Pixar

[4/10 · 11 September 2009]

Pixar, used to creating $200m hits were sure to slip one day and this is for sure it. I'm sure there will be a lot of investigations and soul- searching going on after this mess.

The film's basic idea is pretty lame, and then the execution is even worse. There were certainly some promising moments in the film. The couple's cute life in silent mode, the almost cute dog with his squirrel distractions. But they were more than overshadowed by the distractions like the Bird ???, the super-explorer turned villain and the little kid.

All in all quite a disaster, its like it was done by the Pixar trainees without one touch of supervision from the people who made the studio's mega blockbusters.

As an aside, I'm not sure IMDb can do much, but the fake high ratings and fake great reviews for this movie are unprecedented. But when your a studio with x million dollars to invest in marketing, hiring 50 interns for 4 months to write comments for you makes a lot of sense. But of course, as with any useless movie on IMDb. Go to the first entered 4 pages of comments to see the *real* opinions.

Don't be fooled, this movie is a disaster, and not your Finding Nemo or Wall-E.

The Unforeseen (2007)

As a film, not great at all.

[3/10 · 12 July 2009]

As one who enjoys a good documentary and also passionate about the fact that we're heading for eco-disaster, I was kind of looking forward to watching this movie.

Unfortunately, the only thing I got out of it was that Austin seems like a nice place to visit or live (thus attracting more people and more development), and that the Springs in question were very attractive, and worth preserving.

But the movie just goes on for hours about a subject which could be summed up in a 15 minute news article.

Also, this stuff is what we should have been watching in the 80's. Its too late for this now. We have more important stuff to worry about, like where the refugees from the frozen, scorched, and flooded parts of the world are going to live. And what we're gonna eat when we have 10 billion people.

Geez, its human survival we're fighting for, not just a pretty hot spring !!! Perspective please !!

I wanna see James Cameron or Roland Emmerich making something about how, just before the world was about to end, everyone got off their asses and did something, and we all lived happily ever after.

-------------- The above was written after about the first half of the movie when I was wondering if I was alone in thinking the movie sucked.

Now I've completed the movie, my opinion has degraded further. There was a small improvement, but the ending was just bizarre !

Ending on the developer going out of business ?? What point is the film trying to make?

And then more touching music and poetry. Give me a break.

I would not recommend this movie to anyone. Just read these reviews then watch Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore's latest talk on TED, A Crude Awakening, 11th Hour etc. etc. oh and "The Day After Tomorrow" !!

Nacho Libre (2006)

Couldn't get to the wrestling bit.... so bad !!!!!

[1/10 · 19 February 2008]

OK... I usually reckon you can spot what's going to be a really entertaining movie in the first 3 minutes. e.g. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Superbad, Die Hard 4, Kingdom, Norbit (even!)

In the first 3 mins of this garbage I was suspicious, after 10 mins puzzled. When does the comedy start I asked myself ? After 30 mins I was just thinking... hang on, what are the IMDb boys thinking of this garbage ?? Is it just me ??

So after checking the rating of 5.7 and seeing a few pages of obviously fake good reviews from the people behind this movie, I then found the endless stream of 1 star, 1 star, 1 star, 1 star...

Aha.... yes ! The true depth of this movie, total garbage. I'm just getting to the wrestling part now as I write this... still not funny in the slightest. For goodness sake don't even *consider* renting or purchasing this movie. I'm going to turn it off now.

And hell, I liked Norbit, School for Scoundrels, and even the Big Momma movies, so I'm certainly NOT a tough crowd. :-)

If ya want a good, silly movie, go see Balls of Fury instead ! Even if you don't find it funny, you can at least gawk at Maggie Q for a couple of hours.

Shaun

The Master of Disguise (2002)

Worst Movie Ever Contender

[1 September 2003]

I have this movie on DVD. This is my second attempt at watching it. Its the worst thing I've ever seen. Its bringing back painful

memories of Hudson Hawk. Yes Dana Carvey is talented. A comedy film needs a good director. This really is the mess of all messes.

It is not, as others have said, a bunch of skits joined together. Aren't skits funny ?? This is a bunch of garbage joined together. I just finished watching Dumb & Dumber'er ... which although not too funny, is definitely 150% better than this. I'm gonna have to turn it off now. My second time... I made 42 minutes..., 20 of

which was writing this and nothing on the screen could take me away from writing this... just gave me more conviction to complete the review.

Collateral Damage (2002)

Good grief

[23 February 2002]

Ok,

Here I am stuck in Kuala Lumpur and happy to see that they're showing the new Arnold blockbuster hot off the presses. I love Arnold movies and was happy with The 6th Day and even End of Days, (although I did draw the line at Last Action Hero).

Well... he's now surpassed Last Action Hero with his worst work to date. Not entirely his fault, but did he read the script ???? Did he notice that "Chain Reaction" (almost the worst movie ever made) was also directed by Andrew Davis ??

As you may have noticed ... I didn't like this movie AT ALL.

The production quality was ok, Andrew Davis gave us depth, meaning, photography ... but the main thing this movie lacked was a decent story that anyone cared about, followed by ANY action sequences worth a damn. Basically, once you've seen the first explosion right at the beginning, you might as well leave. That's as good as its going to get. It really lacks scenes where you can honestly say ... "oh, he really nailed it there".

In the end I had to leave even before the credits started rolling. I never do that. I simply just didn't care about this pathetic little movie.

Don't waste your money, not even renting this drivel. Go see "Behind Enemy Lines" again if you want pure Arnold-esque entertainment, which has at least 4 "nailed" scenes.

As for the "Fugitive", Andrew Davis' masterpiece ... I guess it just shows what a couple of good actors and a half decent script can do for a director. Andrew ..... Choose your next project carefully !!!!

Shaun

The Animal (2001)

Rob Schneider Future Superstar !

[2 July 2001]

Ok, I liked Deuce Bigalow a lot. This movie is not quite that good, but it starts to showcase Rob Schneider as truly one of America's best hopes for comedy superstardom (like Jim Carrey and Eddie Murphy before him). His timing is perfect and the film's direction is as good as it could be. Don't get me wrong, its a stupid movie and the plot is really terrible. However, it has enough well-directed funny interludes to keep you going. But just to watch Rob's screen presence is amazing. See it many times and I'm sure you will agree, Rob is the next big thing in Hollywood comedic film. Who knows?, after another 8 or so of these, he will move into dramatic acting. As this film has made back its money big-time at the box office, we can be sure to see many more of these. Keep it up Rob ! Great job!

My favorite scene ? Got to be his cat imitation near the fish tank.

Angel Eyes (2001)

Not for the Inexperienced

[1 July 2001]

If you are young (less than 25), have not experienced real love. If you have not experienced loss, pain, true human emotion ... you're probably wasting your money here. If you are more well-rounded, scarred, troubled individual you will get a lot out of this movie. It takes the hard route of being a non-Hollywood story trapped in a Hollywood (budget) production. But I love this movie. If you like Romance films with substance, then this is a classic. It is a shame that they spent $38 million on it (must have been Jennifer Lopez's makeup and hair), because it means that it will be forever deemed a flop due to not quite making it back at the box office. Jennifer Lopez's acting just gets better and better and (despite what some people have written), I saw huge chemistry between the two stars. You just need to read the subtleties. The soundtrack is great also. This film is so much better than the Wedding Planner. If you like Romance of any kind, and you have had to deal with tough things in your life, then you will definitely enjoy this movie. I've watched it twice already, and it just keeps getting better. I don't find any part of it slow or boring, just beautiful. I guess I should rent "When a man loves a woman" now, also directed by Luis Mandoki.