Weirdling_Wolf Reviews

Deathmoon (1978 TV Movie)

70s TV Horror rocks!!!!!

[7/10 · 12 May 2024]

'Deathmoon' (1978) - Bruce Kessler.

Handsome, overworked businessman Jason Palmer(Robert Foxworth) repeatedly experiences the same disturbingly vivid nightmare. Hoping to ease his increasing anxiety, Jason takes a seemingly idyllic Hawaiian holiday, whereupon these diabolical dreams become a monstrous reality! It's pretty talky fare, but the performances are solid, Paul Chihara's score is quality, and the attractive Island location provides an appealingly exotic backdrop for Foxworth's toothsome tiki terror tactics. An amusing little goosebump-maker, these moonlit lycanthropic shenanigans kinda felt like a fun Hawaii 5-0 Halloween special, which is Dandy by me, and I really dug on the old school make up FX. The lack of gore, and Foxworth's bracingly snug speedos may put some folk off, but, if you are Werewolf/tight buns groupie like me, Bruce Kessler's 'Deathmoon' is a more than watchable Hawaiian Howler!!!

Tentacles (1977)

you could do a yacht worse than checking out Assonitis attention grabbing 'Tentacles'.

[8/10 · 10 May 2024]

This savagely human scoffing sea beast's trachea-thrashing tentacles are so terrifying, just the mere sight of 'em would sordidly shrivel a rhino's armored testicles!!!!! Hollywood veterans John Huston and Henry Fonda provide superfluous gravitas to this blissfully bonkers, barnacle blasting, scuba diver decimating, beach bunny bisecting, brine-soaked B-Movie bonanza! Should goofy seafaring schlock be your bag of soggy scampi, the wantonly carnivorous appetites of this skiff skewering, child-chomping calamari remains a mayhemic, multi-tentacled terror treat! 70s creature feature cognoscenti could do a yacht worse than checking out Assonitis attention grabbing 'Tentacles', as you're sure to have a whale of a good time! Maestro Stelvio Cipriani's stridently ear-wormy score is a legit cinematic high point, and an adorably plump Shelley Winters's shrill mumsyness was quite lovely, and strangely erotic!!!!

Halloween Night (2006 Video)

Top-popping horror hotties rock!!!!!

[7/10 · 9 May 2024]

Halloween Night 2006 - Michael Atkins.

A notorious party prankster's plans for a memorably shocking Halloween soiree are all too successfully realised when an infamous nutjob crashes the party! Conspicuously shot-on-video, these slasher-by-numbers shenanigans are coloufully embellished by plentifully top-popping hotties, some splashy old school kills and a weirdly likable melt-faced loon! Cheap and cheerful with the onus on the latter, I really enjoyed the luridly hack-happy vibe of 'Halloween Night. This fun, low budget, perkily poon-packed chunkblower has a zesty D. I. Y approach that isn't afraid to wear its goofy love of vintage slasher films on its gaudily blood-spattered sleeve.

Outcast (2010)

Brit-folk horror rocks!!!

[8/10 · 7 May 2024]

'Outcast' (2010) - Colm McCarthy.

A powerful, enigmatic Romany Witch (Dickey) and her secretive, increasingly strange teenage son seek refuge in an especially grim-looking council flat in Scotland. The angsty Pagan pair are persued by spell-casting gypsies, with the relentless would-be warlock (Nesbitt) bloodthirstily seeking revenge for past crimes altogether mysterious! 'Outcast' is a fascinatingly gritty affair, an inventive indie horror gem that recalls folk horror classic 'Blood on Satan's Claw'. The doomy, chav-encrusted domain of a dismal sinkhole estate darkly imparts an oppressive atmosphere, eerily matched by the equally sinister, shape-shifting savagery of this mysterious night stalking beast. I loved this intelligent pagan nightmare, but I feel embellishing the practical FX with CGI was an error, smart editing and creative lighting would have suited the mood better.

Scream of Fear (1961)

A fear-festooned terror treat!

[10/10 · 4 May 2024]

Hammer Films Rock!!!!!!!

'Taste of Fear (1961) - Seth Holt.

Steeped in sinister suspense, this tantalizingly twisted tale of teeth-chattering terror provides one of Hammer Films finest frightmares! Immaculate performances from a fabulously talented cast, an exotic, greatly atmospheric location, a dazzling score, this raven dark 60s shocker will keep-you-guessing until its breathtaking climax! Macabre, menacing, and fascinatingly convoluted, the diabolical mystery of monochromatic murder masterpiece 'Taste of Fear' rivals the very best of Hitchcock and Clouzot! Brilliantly directed by an assured Seth Holt, with a sublimely skewed screamplay by Jimmy Sangster, this hysteria-hyped Hammer classic remains a ferociously fear-festooned terror treat!

The Card Player (2003)

Dario Argento ROCKS!!!!!!

[8/10 · 4 May 2024]

Dario Argento rocks!!!!!!!!!

The Card Player (2003) - Dario Argento.

This tricky noughties giallo features a degenerate serial killing card player who likes to poker face with a Stanley knife!!!!! Often unfairly maligned by those clearly not operating with a full deck, Argento keeps the killer's identity close to his chest, and his two handsome, charismatic cops prove entirely sympathetic. This slick, frequently inventive Italian blood-spiller is given an additional adrenaline boost by another exciting electronic score by maestro Claudio Simonetti! Not without flaws, what's good is certainly good enough, and I've grown to appreciate the somewhat bizarre Penelope Pit Stop climax!

The Last House on the Beach (1978)

Deliciously Disco-drenched 70s degeneracy!

[9/10 · 3 May 2024]

'La Settima Donna aka Last House on the Beach (1978) - Franco Prosperi.

Following a bloody bank heist, three violent thugs take shelter in a luxurious, suitably isolated beachside property. Swiftly brutalizing the young naive female occupants, it fatefully falls upon their beautiful guardian nun (Florida Bolkan) to revenge these despicable carnal abuses. Franco Prosperi's stylised, cruelly hedonistic home invasion shocker sticks out from the crowd due to its uniquely italiante twist! Well-made, compellingly acted, with bracingly mean-spirited interludes, a rousing score, plus an exhilarating climax make this an indelible psychotronic treat! Criminally underrated, little seen, 'La Settima Donna' remains one of the more vivid examples of deliciously Disco-drenched 70s degeneracy!

Black Belly of the Tarantula (1971)

A thrilling gialli

[8/10 · 28 April 2024]

'The Black Belly of the Tarantula' (1971) - Paolo Cavara.

An inventive Morricone score, a dazzling abundance of euro-totty, with bombshell Barbara Bouchet's brief appearence proving entirely memorable! There's a delightfully kinky killer, a singular modus operandi, and handsome Giancarlo Giannini's makes for a charismatic, unusually sensitive detective. Sexy and mysterious, the exhilaratingly kinetic rooftop chase provides additional zest to Cavara's captivating gialli. While The Black Belly of the Tarantula isn't especially gruesome, it is exceptionally well-made, replete with fine performances, and the compelling plot concludes excitingly in a pin-prickingly terse fashion!

Terror in Beverly Hills (1989)

granite hard marine Hack Stone is a one-man war zone!!

[7/10 · 25 April 2024]

Hardline terrorists bloodily execute a kidnapping in glitzy Beverly Hills on able crooner Frank Stallone's watch, their first mistake! Routine 80s cheapnis B-Shoot 'em up is given additional heft by smooth due Stallone and B-legend Cameron Mitchell. Shallow, crass, and technically shoddy, its frequent bellicosity should keep hardened schlock-seekers amused! Moth-balled dialogue, bouncy, low-rent synth score, cheapo pyro, daytime soap thesping, conspicuous Pepsi product placement, and a weirdly dubbed William Smith lend Terror in Beverly Hills some additional schlock-tastic charm! Will the beleaguered president (William Smith) acquiesce to the evil terrorist's demands and release 55 of their Palestinian brothers? Watch the gloriously dopey, goof-laden Terror in Beverly Hills to find out, just don't say I didn't warn ya'!!!!! Snarkiness aside, Cameron Mitchell's hilariously hypertensive Police Chief is an expletive, bad-tempered treat! Slicker than a well-oiled whetstone, tougher than whale bone, granite hard marine Hack Stone is a one-man war zone!!

Love Stories in Sunflower Valley (2021 TV Movie)

Cutesy coda of a soul mate for all

[7/10 · 25 April 2024]

'Love Stories from Sunflower Valley' (2021) - Rob Lieberman.

This cuddly, earnestly heart string plucking drama stars photogenic Hallmark veterans Erin Cahill and Marcus Possner. Frustrated dogsbody, and aspiring journalist returns to her beloved hometown as assistant to hunky, gentlemanly reporter to write a feature on local altruistic matchmaker. Needless to say, awkward coffee-spilling beginnings belie inexorable chemistry, and true love rapidly blooms in picturesque Sunflower Valley. A bountiful harvest of small-town hospitality, folksy mommy-knows-best schmear, dewy-eyed reminisces, and heartfelt glances over home cooking, warmed fuzzily by sun dappled sentiment! Fine performances, and a lovely location do much to ease the drama's occasional lapses into cloying, love conquers all cliche. I appreciated the pleasing lack of enforced comedy, and don't have a problem with the film's well-meaning, wholly fantastical coda of there's a soul mate for all.

The Song to My Heart (2022 TV Movie)

The Song remains the same

[7/10 · 25 April 2024]

'The song remains the same

The Song To My Heart 2022 - Paula Elle.

Tall good-looking musician with chronic writers block meets beautiful owner of Tea-centric cafe with a killer smile and prodigious lyric writing chops! Excluding the irksome 'temporary estrangement trope', the hearts of our two telegenic songbirds harmonize mellifluously to make some beautiful musical together. Often far too cutesy for its own good, the 'crisis' was embarassingly 1st world, and the maddeningly smiley, serially sandal wearing rock n roll pop needed to get his grump on. Frankly, It's all a tad 'cheesy listening', yet the leads are likable enough and any film whereby the sight of an oversized strawberry arouses paroxysms of pleasure can't be all bad!

Dracula II: Ascension (2003 Video)

Entertaining sequel.

[7/10 · 22 April 2024]

'Dracula II Ascension' (2003) - Patrick Lussier.

The fitfully fun, plasma-soaked, frequently fang-tastic sequel to 'Dracula 2001' is a serviceable B-horror bloodspiller with a cool vampire slayer in the muscular guise of kung Fu priest Jason Scott Lee. After a zesty, Hammer-esque intro there's a bit of a lull until the Spike-like vampire is bloodily resurrected. Uneven at times, and excluding the two Jason's I found the stock characters a little dull, plus it's a great shame director Lussier didn't shoot more of the film's exteriors in picturesque Romania. Overall, even with its rougher edges, 'Dracula 2 Ascension' remains a fun, if somewhat forgettable watch for haemoglobin hungry horror hounds!

Love on Trend (2021 TV Movie)

Amiable Hallmark romance.

[7/10 · 22 April 2024]

Love on Trend 2021 - Nicholas Humphries.

Youthful, aspiring fashion designer Allie (Jocelyn Panton) meetcutes dashing tech guy Colin (Giles Panton) and tumultuously, her lofty career aspirations, and love palpitations coloufully intertwine as they discover they are tailor made for one other! Sadly, my terminal lack of interest in fashion remains wholly unmoved by Love on Trend, but Allie's amiable boss/chum Kendra (Amanda Wong)is a propah sweetie, and, unlike cold reality, in fuzzy Hallmarkland all of life's travails are amicably resolved in a suitably cutsey fashion. Real life married couple have a likeable screen chemistry, and their fictitious personas exude a palpable warmth.

El vampiro (1957)

Well worth sinking your teeth into!

[8/10 · 22 April 2024]

Pretty Marta (Ariadna Welta) returns to her ancestral home, only to discover that her beloved aunt is dead, and the once grand estate is greatly dilapidated. The forbidding atmosphere is drenched in dismal doom, her other aunt appears strangely youthful, suggesting something monstrous is afoot! The blood-chilling horror escalates following the arrival of darkly mysterious Count Lavud. With engaging performances, evocative, eerily cobwebbed sets, a charming protagonist, with German Robles making for a mesmerizingly malign revenant! Compelling, immaculately staged Gothic horror, The Vampire is a scintillatingly spooky South American shocker well worth sinking your teeth into.

Zombie Holocaust (1980)

80s Italian horror rocks!!!!!

[8/10 · 21 April 2024]

Zombie Holocaust forms part of the 'unofficial' Ian McCulloch 80s terror trilogy. This certifiably insane, island-set splatter-fest luridly resembles the sinisterly shambling results of a deranged scientist's attempt to splice together Zombie Flesh Eaters & Mountain of the Cannibal God. Abundant gore, a massively underrated Nico Fidenco score, and the infamous 'falling dummy with the wayward arm' has made Zombie Holocaust a bona fide cannibal cult! Time has been inexplicably kind to this ferociously fleshfeasting folly, since the entertainment value, planned, or otherwise, has enjoyably increased since its grisly Grindhouse birth. Now with all its glistering HD viscera bloodily reinstated, Zombie Holocaust deliriously delivers the gory goods!!!!

Snowkissed (2021 TV Movie)

An entirely pleasant distraction!

[7/10 · 16 April 2024]

Pretty Manhattanites, neurotic writer Kate (Jen Lilley), and her more gregarious photographer friend Jayne (Amy Groening) are on assignment to picturesque Band to interview a reclusive author. Upon arrival in this snowpeaked paradise the inevitably cutsey love-matching is above average. The likeable performances are engaging, with an enjoyably effervescent text, and the dazzling winter wonderland backdrop of beautiful Banf provide wonderful distractions. It's somewhat unusual for a glossy Hallmark rom-com to be almost entirely cheese free, Snowkissed feels far less synthetic, as there's a tangibly unforced charm to these handsome couples amorous coupling. I enjoy the sugary, glutinous sentimentality of Hallmark fare, but Snowkissed's life affirming positivity is edifying. The dazzling natural splendour of Banf is no small part of the film's appeal, and Kate and Noah's (Chris McNally) grand gesture is quite lovely!

Bloodmoon (1997)

Darren Shalavi rocks!!!!!!

[8/10 · 14 April 2024]

Gary Daniels is a muscular, rudimentary actor whose limited dramatic capabilities are boldly contrasted by his exemplary martial artistry. Bloodmoon is another violent iteration of the maniacal kung Fu killer, happily, I happen to have yen for maniacal kung Fu killers! The exhilarating fights are plentiful and brutally executed, while the plot and dramatic content are less meticulously rendered.

Frank Gorshin unleashes one of the more noisome, memorably hypertensive police chiefs, Chuck Jeffreys' conspicuous Eddy Murphyisms prove distracting, with Gary Daniels tortured profiler about as convincing as John Wayne's Genghis Khan. Deathdealing dynamo Darren Shalavi's masked psychotic pugilist remains one next level, ferociously femur fracturing fiend! I can't imagine that Bloodmoon is widely regarded as a cult film, but the singular acting choices, dismal dialogue and compellingly kinetic combat elevates Bloodmoon to higher echelon DTV thrill-spiller, and should you appreciate an overwrought rooftop climax, this one's a doozie!

Wicked World (1991)

viewers must be willing to temporarily detach themselves from reality!

[8/10 · 13 April 2024]

Spawned from the same tweaked mind as Canadian horror cult 'Things', resembling the madly misanthropic progeny of H. G Lewis's The Gore Gore Girls', Barry J. Gillis's similarly warped follow-up is no less unhinged! The appropriately monikered 'Wicked World' is lurid proof positive that gratuitous violence, gratuitous nudity, gratuitous narration and gratuitous tan lines are NEVER gratuitous! Driven incandescently mad by a searing hatred of mankind, drenched in downbeat delirium, the deliciously demented death-spree of this sinisterly storytelling serial killer are not soon forgotten!

Weirdly, the shoestring budget merely tightens the addictive mania of this gloriously wrong-headed mindbomb! Having all the dramatic nuance of an improvised school nativity play, like an especially gruesome carwreck, 'Wicked World' proves morbidly irresistible, one is compelled to watch! Suspending disbelief simply won't cut it, to more fully experience the apocalyptic sensibilities of 'Wicked World', viewers must be willing to temporarily detach themselves from reality! Accept the unacceptable, digest the indigestible, and fathom the unfathomable, like culinary eccentricities laverbread, and surstromming, 'Wicked World' is, perhaps, an acquired taste!

The Story of Us (2019 TV Movie)

The Story of Us is genuinely sweet distraction.

[7/10 · 13 April 2024]

No butchers, bakers, or candlestickmakers but an earnest small-town bookstore owner who discovers that her beloved store is under threat from corporate property developers. Much like the durability a generic plastic chair, Hallmark's success/ubiquity is undeniably down to their dogmatic adherence to formula. Not always compelling, often anodyne, but modestly appealing if you are in the right mood for sugary, treacle-thick sentiment. The Story of Us is genuinely sweet, with amiable protagonists, agressively small-town charm, and the erstwhile lovers O'Dell Sawyer (Sam Page) and Maggie Lawson's (Jamie Vaughn) inexorable romance feels far less contrived than usual.

L.A. Heat (1989)

An unheralded PM Entertainment B-movie gem!

[7/10 · 11 April 2024]

L. A Heat. (1988) Joseph Merhi.

PM Entertainment's low-budget, bullet-shredded, late 80s shoot 'em up, L. A Heat is greatly elevated by the charismatic presence of big Jim Brown. LA Cops go hard after a violently gunhappy drug dealer which affords bargain bucket action impresario Merhi plentiful opportunities for softboiled B-Movie badinage and righteous amounts of slo-mo squibage! The skeezy downtown L. A setting is grungily atmospheric, and there's a boisterously old school Blaxsploitation vibe throughout that I really dug. Straight-shooting detective Lt. Chance (Lawrence Hilton Jacob ) is a tough, likeable good guy, and psycho copkiller Clarence ( Kevin Benton ) makes for a convincingly malign street thug.

Recipe for Love (2014 TV Movie)

An appetizing Hallmark confection!

[7/10 · 11 April 2024]

An attractive, altogether edible food taster is tasked to ghost write for a muscular boorish celebrity chef whose strident alpha demeanor belies a sensitive side. Watching this prototypically telegenic couple fall in love served up a surprisingly digestible romance. Flavourfully garnished with two appealing leads, cutesy chat, touchy feely schmaltz, and the perfect amount of cheese! Zesty, rather than stodgy, this eminently snackable foodie romance won't leave a bad taste in your mouth! Frothier than a cappuccino, sweeter than mom's pumpkin pie, Recipe for love, while undeniably a familiar dish, is, for me, one of the more appetizing Hallmark confections. This 'chalk and cheese couple who inevitably become cheese & cheese lovers won't immediately have you reaching for the pepto bismol!

Ruff Sex (1990)

A shocking Pinku.

[7/10 · 7 April 2024]

Starring Kanako Kishi and Kazuhiro Sano, Hisayasu Sato's shocking Pinku is atmospherically set on an isolated beach front property. The strikingly sadistic equestrian protagonist's unrepentantly degenerate pecadiloes frequently prove wholly bestial. Gleefully smutty, often outlandish and refreshingly frank, Horse Woman Dog revels in a lurid pick and mix of bracingly illicit exotica! Unlikely to appease those with mainstream tastes, there is sure to be something here to offend/excite fans of furthest flung fleshly fictions! While there are vestiges of genuine tenderness, this is aggressively confrontational material that should certainly spice up an evening's viewing.

The Body Shop (1972)

'Do you wanna haul my ashes?' 'Right on, baby!'

[7/10 · 25 March 2024]

I dig rudimentary gore FX, shrill organ themes, monosyllabic red-headed hunchbacks, evilly bubbling vats of acid, and spazzy-looking mad scientists with bravura comb-overs, so the goofball gruesome, Dr. Gore is, like a no-brainer, dude! For me, this enjoyably cheapnis precursor to Frankenhooker has much to recommend it to sleaze-ridden seekers of vintage trash. It's only a movie, but I still don't like how comb-over played Greg the hunchback for a sucker, douchey move, bro! Lacking the bravura blood-letting of gorefather Herschell Gordon Lewis, there's a kooky, can-do Ed Wood quality that proves irresistible, and the bodaciously body shopped blonde is one deadly hot mama!!!!

'Do you wanna haul my ashes?' 'Right on, baby!'

When Evil Calls (2006)

the gory film's trashy, Troma-esque exuberance ultimately won me over!

[7/10 · 25 March 2024]

This low-budget, enjoyably goofy British riff on cult favourite Wishmaster includes a bravura performance from Sean Pertwee. He energetically plays the tall tale telling school janitor/cryptkeeper with infectious glee! Not all the grisly interludes work, and dynamic French actor, Dominique pinon appears to be acting in an entirely separate film! Chris Barrie is unusually sedate, and the young, inexperienced, appealingly nubile cast do their breast!

The evilly wish-granting Djinn is a cliché horror clown, happy remedied by a lack of scream-time, but Pertwee's increasingly demented Janitor, and the gory film's trashy, Troma-esque exuberance ultimately won me over! In summation, the uneven feature's appeal is, perhaps, marginal, the more progressive B-movie cognoscenti might enjoy it, exploding warts an all!

Rica 3: Juvenile Lullabay (1973)

plentiful action, slapstick comedy, dramatic interludes, and bellicose baguette battery!

[8/10 · 23 March 2024]

I can strongly recommend the fiesty final instalment in this iconic, fabulously zesty girl-fight trilogy! Heroic, yet ill-fated, Rica's violent saga concludes in a suitably exhilarating fashion, once again featuring some stirring W. I. P action! With nary a dull moment, Rica 3: Juvenile's Lullaby even a propah brillo breadstick battle which proves Rica is no less deadly with common foodstuffs than her whirlwind fists! Irrepressible, kind-hearted, brave, cunning, and resilient, this sexy, street-fighting siren takes on a sex-trafficking ring, proving proficient at spearing these vile oppressors with a harpoon gun!!! Kozaburo Yoshimura's exciting feature has plentiful action, slapstick comedy, dramatic interludes, and bravura baguette battery!!! As always, Rika Aoki is never less than captivating, and composer, Jiro Takemura's bouncy soundtrack remains a highlight!