ichabod81 Reviews

Hyvät ja huonot uutiset (2012– )

By far the best non-fiction on Finnish TV.

[10/10 · 19 January 2014]

When the show was announced, I was sceptical to say the least. Finnish TV is what it is and I mean.. a former radio morning DJ as a host and panelists who consist of a theater/TV actress, a contemporary singer, a stand-up comedian and two novelists. Then I pulled it together and gave it a shot.

I LOVE THIS SHOW. Never miss it. Four out of five rotating regular panelists, the host and a weekly guest review the news of the past week. The concept is simple and entertaining enough and what makes the show truly brilliant is the chemistry within the odd group.

An absolute joy to watch and hopefully it goes on forever.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Delivers exactly what it promises and that's the point.

[7/10 · 29 August 2009]

Please, take note that I rated this film 8 only because of it's value as an action film, but that's exactly the point I came here to get across. Everybody seems to have the same argument when they trash this film.. "it's all effects and no brains or dramatic undertones". OK, that is true, I've got to admit, but then again what kind of movie were these people actually expecting to see? Huh?!

G.I. Joe is as pure as an action film can possibly be and most importantly, it doesn't pretend to be anything else. Look at the poster. Check out the trailer. After those, were you perhaps waiting to see an Ingmar Bergman film? IT'S G.I. JOE, for Christ's sake! And I must say that in it's category, it isn't that bad. Sommers can direct good action sequences (the pursuit on the streets of Paris is stunning!) and although the film is obviously overblown with ridiculous gadgets and over the top plot lines, it doesn't matter because Joe succeeds in it's ONLY primary mission: to be entertaining. It's never boring and it's the silly fun it was always going to be.

So in a nutshell.. if you want a serious film to watch, check out There Will Be Blood or Doubt, but if you just want to forget for two hours the mess your leaders have left your nation, nay, the *world* and just have fun, check out this action film. Thank you.

Rööperi (2009)

Wants to be Goodfellas SO badly..

[6/10 · 13 January 2009]

The summary pretty much.. erh.. sums it up. The film follows a group of friends who take over the illegal distribution of hard liquor in Helsinki in the mid 60s. What follows is a typical story of the rise and fall of these wanna be gangsters.

The movie hardly offers anything new to the tired formula, but there are some good performances such as Edelmann in the leading role and especially the ALWAYS funny Hietalahti in a supporting role. For once, Franzen does his part a bit too over the top, but that's nothing compared to the disaster that is Pääkkönen's "mob boss". The guy looks like he's 12 and the role is passionless and feels phoned in.

This will no doubt be a great success here in Finland, but the fact that it's the best of the worst, doesn't make it a good film.

300 (2006)

A Visual Delicatessen For The Senses.

[10/10 · 23 February 2008]

The frase "best movie I've ever seen" is tossed around a lot and even (it seems) in cases when the movie's been merely cool. Well, when I say it, I mean it.. 300 is literally one of the most breathtaking, magnificent and *best* films I've seen in my life.

Every frame could be printed out and hung on a wall as a painting. It really is that beautiful. In some other films where the visuals are breathtaking, the story usually falls flat or is just non-existent, case in point The Cell. The Cell is visually almost at the same par as 300 (yes, there isn't as much CG, but the smooth camera work finishes the touch), but at it's core, it's just not as interesting. And enough about JLo. The characters in this film are interesting and perfectly cast. Dominic West.. who would've though?

The final nail on the coffin of this instant classic is the director himself, Zack Snyder. The man is the most uncompromising and talented artist behind the camera since.. since.. Spielberg. Great things can (and SHOULD) be expected from him in the years to come. If this achievement isn't enough to impress you, just think about this.. he managed to turn a zombie movie into one of 2004's best pictures. And it was even a remake, for God's sake!

***** / *****

Aika tappaa (2005 Video)

Don't believe the hype.. this IS a bad film.

[2/10 · 6 January 2008]

This DVD cost me about 3.99 euros and I'll tell you this right now.. I was ripped off. The story is stupid and at the very least not believable in the Finnish setting. A serial killer? I think there's been one serial case in the whole recorded history of this country. And still, the script was plain awful and full of bad dialogue, the actors were seriously bad and the story went nowhere. The only actor who could with a clear conscience be even called that, Tapio Liinoja, seems fittingly bored in the whole two scenes he has in the film. To sum it all up, this movie is just dreadfully boring and badly made. I read from the only previous comment on this film by another user, that the picture quality was excellent. Were we watching the same DVD?! It's horrible. Most of the scenes that take place at night are lit so badly you can hardly see what's even going on. And that includes the "massive and surprising" final showdown. Aki Louhimies made Levottomat as his graduation piece from film school. I think it's quite safe to say that this is nowhere near that effort. Avoid.

* / *****

Matti: Hell Is for Heroes (2006)

Biography of a wife beater and an alcoholic = Finnish hero.

[3/10 · 9 July 2007]

For those of you who are not familiar with the titular "hero", Matti Nykänen, he is this Finnish Olympic gold-medalist, who was a folk hero back in the 80's, 'cause he brought ski-jumping medals by the boat loads. Here's where it gets tricky. Today he's nothing. He's a bottom feeder, who does anything to stay in the headlines. And even that seems like an understatement. How's that, one might ask. Well, since his professional career ended, he has started a ridiculous singing career (he can sell a few albums, but people buy them and show up to his gigs purely out of humor), he's been a stripper (!), he's been to prison, he has found God and he has married a woman he beats up every once in a while. What's not to like? Plus, he's clearly a retard.

Matti, the movie about him, tries to sell his story to the viewer as he would be the victim in all of this. Which is of course total BS. A lot of the stupid things he's done and God forbid *is still doing*, have come from people daring him. For heaven's sake, HOW HARD IS IT TO JUST SAY "NO"?! And stupid things like jumping off a bridge, or something. Plus when you rarely see him doing an interview his eyes are wondering everywhere and he makes statements like you wouldn't believe.. he's like The Waterboy, but with half the IQ.

This is a naive film with some good performances, but even those can't hide the fact that this film's been made with the intention of ripping the ticket fare from the Finnish audience, who are there just to see the joke that this man is. Not the sensitive side, because with he's real actions this far gone, no-one's buying that he even has one.

** / *****

My Name Is Earl (2005–2009)

Jason Lee was born to play Earl Hickey.

[10/10 · 30 October 2006]

This show makes me nervous. Why? Because it's so good and absolutely brilliant that it'll most likely get canceled. The same happened to the likes of Arrested Development and Action.

THAT'S why, My Name Is Earl makes me wet myself.. and obviously 'cause it's the funniest and the most original sitcom in years. Sitcom.. hmm.. sounds like swearword, doesn't it? When you hear that word, you kinda think of a show that's stuffed with poor and politically correct jokes and a laugh track. Neither of which are found here. Two points.

Jason Lee is brilliant in pretty much everything he does, but slap that ridiculous moustache on him and a script funny enough to hurt your face laughing and it's as clear as day that he's playing the role of his life. (Jason Lee as Earl plus the story lines..) Two points.

Supporting cast.. can you say "heaven"? Ethan Suplee, Jamie Pressly, Nadine Velazquez and Eddie Steeples. It's really quite rare to find the perfect actor or actress for a part, but here each and every role is so perfectly cast and they play beautifully off from one another and honestly, HONESTLY have great chemistry. It shows. One point.

Sooo.. I think that amounts to five points which is the same as five stars. Well would you look at that, full five stars. But then again, there're also the delicious cameos from such talents as Giovanni Ribisi, Jon Favreau, Christine Taylor, Timothy Olyphant and Juliette Lewis.. which would earn the show an extra point and place it ABOVE the scale. Oh well, you can't win them all. Guess it'll have to be "only" a five star show then.

Espoon viimeinen neitsyt (2003 TV Movie)

In a word.. disgusting.

[2/10 · 20 October 2006]

This film is a marathon of teen clichés. Just one after another. The subjects range from having sex for the first time (obviously) to casual sex and the painfully obvious suicide.

Worst thing about this movie is the script. The dialogue's just horrible while the film in whole doesn't come up with a single original idea.

Plus, this has clearly been made with educational purposes in mind.. the dos and don'ts for kids. In fact, they should've just renamed this piece of junk "Teenage for Dummies".

The two starring girls try to do their best with a crappy material, but in the end it isn't even nearly enough to keep this a float, 'cause their characters are stupid and irritating (God help us, if this is an accurate portrait of our youth!). Watching this, you WANT them to catch a venereal disease. Of the deadly kind.

If you absolutely must watch some teen soap, catch a re-run of Dawson's Creek or Beverly Hills 90210. Because this almost makes American Pie look like a Tarantino outing.

* / *****

An Evening with Kevin Smith (2002 Video)

My most beloved DVD.

[10/10 · 9 October 2006]

I have hundreds of DVDs and all kinds of movies and TV-series, but this is easily my favorite. I just love Kevin Smith and his movies (yes, Jersey Girl included!). The man's a genius. And what'ya know.. here we have an opportunity to listen to his real life stories and there's almost four hours worth of them. It's not only the things he's talking about, but that he's also so incredibly articulate that it never at any point gets boring. Add to that the fact that Smith's also a comedic genius.. phew! Sure, I can see that maybe for someone who doesn't like his work or the man himself, AEWKS doesn't offer much anything, but for everyone else, it's loaded with precious moments and lots and lots of purified comedy. I'd take this DVD to the grave with me or to a deserted island. It's honestly THAT good.

***** / *****

Hamilton (1998)

The fall and fall of the Swedish 007.

[7/10 · 9 September 2006]

This film just doesn't work. No two ways about it. I saw it for the first time back in '98 when it was released and I didn't like it. I just bought it on sale a couple of days ago, 'cause I thought "whatta hell, I'll give it a try". I don't regret for the money I put out for Hamilton, but the fact remained the same.. this movie is pointless, dull and uninteresting.

Stormare is usually a delight, but that's when he's making films in the US. Back home he doesn't do the trick. Sure the movie is well made (if you forget the odd stock footage here'n'there), but in the end the only thing that REALLY lifts Hamilton above one star garbage, is Hamill's turn as the bad guy Hawkins. He seriously has fun with the character and is also responsible for the only two good moments in the movie.. "Swedish intelligence, huh? Now there's a contradiction in terms" and when he allows Hamilton to have a word or two with his wife over the phone towards the end of the flick. And that's really pretty much it.

** / *****

Stealth (2005)

Cohen makes up for "xXx"..

[8/10 · 14 December 2005]

Stealth marks the return of director Cohen's finer abilities. xXx was a woeful attempt to upgrade Bond and it didn't work because after the magnificent The Fast and the Furious, he must have felt too confident. Cohen just assumed he'd be on a winner by casting Diesel again in the leading role and just letting the magic happen on it's own. xXx worked like Malcom X's speech would work on a KKK rally. It tanked. Maybe not in the box office, but in every other possible way.

With Stealth, Cohen has come to remember that in order for his movies to work, he has to do some actual work on them. And thank God for that, because even though Stealth is by no means a good movie in terms of plot development, it does deliver on the one thing it promises on the posters and the trailers: great action. What's refreshing also is that the cast includes some real character actors like Lucas, Foxx and Shepard, who give the yarn some extra credibility.

**** / *****

PS. Stick around after the credits.

The Incredibles (2004)

Surpassed all my expectations.

[10/10 · 28 November 2005]

After the rather disappointing Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo, my hopes were definitely not high for this outing from Brad Bird. I was wrong to think that. Boy, was I wrong!

First, The Incredibles is not a comedy like Monsters and Nemo. Sure, there are comedic elements, but mainly this movie is just an extremely entertaining action movie. Which is kind of hard to take in at first since we're talking about a Disney/Pixar animation. The film has a warm and familiar feeling, which is a mixture of three things.. X-Men, James Bond and well, animation (duh!). X-Men, because the superheroes, or "supers", all have unique powers which resembles the tone of the X-Men. James Bond, because stylistically, The Incredibles has taken many references from the series in case of the production design and music. For example, the capsules that travel on the track around Syndrome's island are almost identical of those seen inside SPECTRE's fake volcano in You Only Live Twice. And not only that, the period is in general very much taken from the sixties, which brings back memories from the early Bond-films with Connery.

The voice talents are doing a great job (Jason Lee rocks!) and this film deserves an extra thumbs-up for containing some traditional emotional moments without being melodramatic or tasteless at any point.

***** / *****

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

McG couldn't even direct traffic to save his life.

[2/10 · 8 April 2005]

Wow. This piece of junk hits about a 9.5 on the s**t-o-meter. The first had a few good things going for it, namely Bill Murray and Sam Rockwell. Neither of which it cashed in on. All of this is largely thanks to McG, aka the "director".

It would be one thing, if Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle would take itself seriously, but since the "original" didn't do that, why should they bother this time around either. Except now they go so over the top with the ridiculous action and dry, stupid humor that the audience is left with two obvious choices: to walk out or take two in the chest and one in the head.

Avoid at all cost and pray there won't be a third of these turds.

* / *****

The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

Sublime Supremacy

[10/10 · 4 April 2005]

The Bourne Supremacy is a good example of a sequel, where everything has gone just right. Some of my friends who have seen this film commented that it was a mistake to kill off Potente's character 15 minutes in. I disagree. For one thing, it gives Damon's Bourne much more space to move and second, it really darkens his character and makes him more focused and interesting.

The supporting cast is excellent. From Brian Cox to Joan Allen to even Julia Stiles, they are all in top form. I actually don't like Stiles that much, because she's tortured audiences with tasteless yarns like The Prince & Me and Down to You. The horror. Here, though, Stiles delivers a small, but intense role. And just when you think it doesn't get any better, the jaw-droppingly gorgeous Oksana Akinshina from "Lilja 4-Ever" shows up. Plus Chris Cooper. And Karl Urban. Impressive.

I loved The Bourne Identity, but this film pushed the envelope even further. In a situation where 007 would use some super gadget, Bourne uses simple household items which he happens to find. And that's a good thing, because it makes the film seem much more realistic. In the first movie, Bourne uses a pencil as a weapon and in Supremacy, a rolled-up newspaper. Pure genius.

***** / *****

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

A lesson learned.

[6/10 · 18 February 2005]

And that lesson is that if you don't expect anything, you might be positively surprised. Like I was. I really hated the idea of Anderson making this film, since he's like a studio pet to me. If the financiers want a PG-rating in order to perform better at the box office, he's the guy they call (Resident Evil, anyone?). Yet, Anderson managed to pull it off this time and I'm man enough to admit if I've been wrong. And I was wrong on this. AvP rocks.

Of course I would've preferred it if AvP had been more towards gore, like the original Predator or Aliens and Alien3, but it works the way it is. Anderson continues his trend plot outline in AvP which features a bunch of people getting in trouble in a hostile environment (Event Horizon and Resident Evil).

Most importantly, the thing that made me happy in Alien vs. Predator is that they were respectful to the original characters. The predators are as bada** as ever and the aliens are slimy and brilliant. Plus the action scenes kick a** and the effects are great enough to support them. Hooray!

**** / *****

The Cell (2000)

Perfect visuals make The Cell a must see.

[10/10 · 27 July 2004]

There are times during this movie, that I almost cry. Not because of some lame love story. Not because I dislike JLo so much (although I really do). I almost cry because this film is so beautiful. That's right.. so beautiful.

Fincher, Jonze and Tarsem Singh all come from music videos. Fincher and Jonze might make the better movies as far as the storylines go, but The Cell is an undeniable proof that Singh has the best visual sense (and by this I'm in no way trashing Fincher's film's visuals). This film is a perfect collaboration between the director and everyone working beneath him. I mean the production design, the photography and especially the score (screw LOTR, this is clearly Howard Shore's best and most beautiful work to date).

Sure the story is old and has been done to death, but what makes The Cell special is that it manages to be original anyway. The headtrips are UNBELIEVABLE. And even in the scenes that take place "in the real world", the film doesn't implode. The acting and the photography are too good for that.

The Cell is a masterpiece, because there's just nothing as special around. Visually.

***** / *****

The Matrix (1999)

Fresh. Good. But not perfect.

[8/10 · 16 June 2004]

The first time I saw The Matrix, it was in a theater. It was good. After that, countless times on pirate videos and on DVD. Still good. But it has never given me that mystical spark that would make it a five star picture. You know how you really like some movie, but it's just missing that something, that thing you can't define? That's how it is between this movie and me.

The Matrix is no doubt the most inventive movie to hit the screens in a long while and the dark visuals and themes common to the Wachowski brothers are really at home here. It's almost a crime to say what I'm about to say, but I have began to like the sequels even more. There, I have now disgraced myself.

At least in one way this original does beat the sequels, though. There is none of that melodramatic romance between Neo and Trinity that in my opinion was the greatest fall of Reloaded and Revolutions. Plus here the idea is still fresh. Check diz!

**** / *****

xXx (2002)

Cohen disappoints me.

[4/10 · 15 June 2004]

xXx could've been something out of this world. An extreme sports nut is recruited into an agency. What is there to expect? Kick ass action, bad jokes and good fun. Did we get it? Well.. There is lots of action, but it is so soulless and pointless. The jokes are good ("knocked over a few 7-11s, have we?"), but there are like three of them. Fun? More like disappointment.

After movies like Dragonheart, Daylight and especially The Fast and The Furious, we had every right to expect this to be nothing short of a good Bond knock-off from director Cohen. The idea is great, but the whole movie just feels so depressingly shallow, like Cohen's creative vain would have just dried up.

The camerawork is boring and the angles destroy the action. It's supposed to be flowing freely, but here they just seem to cut takes together almost randomly.

This movie promised loads of fun, but it ended up serving loads of s...

** / *****

Mortal Kombat (1995)

A fairly nice surprise.

[7/10 · 13 June 2004]

As I've said, I have never been into videogames. Who cares? It's a movie I'm commenting on, right? Mortal Kombat is okey.

Sure this movie is stupid, the dialogue isn't that funny (although it tries very hard to be) and the performances would sent cold chills even down Ed Wood's back. So why in the hell is this worth our time? The action. The fight scenes in this yarn scale from average to excellent. No Crouching Tiger, but for a videogame adaptation they're not bad.

This movie also made Paul W.S. Anderson the director he is today. There are mixed feelings. Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon are his better works. Soldier and Resident Evil.. oh well. And now that he's making Alien vs. Predator a f**king PG movie ('cause the studio wanted it so [Judas!]), there is no telling where his integrity has fallen.

*** / *****

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

Quality surgically removed.

[4/10 · 10 June 2004]

I don't play videogames, so I'm probably not as familiar with Croft as many others. That said, in my opinion, this movie clearly would've had potential. Big busted heroine taking what she wants with two guns blazing. Sounds hot, ay? The finished product is far from that.

Biggest problem with Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is the editing. It's just simply appalling. Nobody goes to see this s**t for Lara's relationship with her dad. They pay the price for the action. Sadly, it doesn't work. Every time you think "this is it, now she's gonna come from there, fling by the camera and boom! Awesome!" they cut to some stupid angle that totally ruins the momentum. Such a shame.

There are three good things here, though. The training fight with the robot is some what cool in the beginning of the picture. Plus the songs "Where's your head at?" by Basement Jaxx and "Elevation" by U2. And that's about it.

*** / *****

28 Days Later (2002)

28 Days Later delivers the goods!

[8/10 · 9 June 2004]

Thank God for this film. My impression of Danny Boyle was really down in the mud after a s****y turd that was A Life Less Ordinary. Haven't seen The Beach.

Although people seem to think this is a zombie flick, it technically isn't. The ones who have been infected are not dead. They just go simply mad of rage after catching the virus. Still, 28 Days Later has the sweet echoes of Romero's The Living Dead trilogy without actually ripping anything off.

Cillian who? I had never heard of this guy before, but after this movie hit me so hard, I will certainly be sitting in the audience of "Batman 5" (not that I wouldn't be there anyways). Murphy is excellent in this yarn and the cast is good all together, but the man shining through this time is Brendan Gleeson. I've always liked him. One talented motherf...!

Good horror coming your way out of the UK!

**** / *****

Murder by Numbers (2002)

A very good thriller.. no thanks to Sandra!

[8/10 · 7 June 2004]

What an intelligent thriller. Murder by Numbers (or Murder 8y Num8ers) works on so many levels. With the school killings and all in the recent years, this tale of two college kids trying murder out for size is actually not that far fetched. The fact that these fellows are carefully planning their crime is in my opinion no different from just walking into a school and opening fire. But the murdering scheme is not the only thing this film has going for it.

There are also the homosexual references between the main characters Haywood and Pendleton (Gosling and Pitt). Now that takes some balls in a big Hollywood thriller like this. The carefully thought human emotions in Murder by Numbers are elevated even further by the jaw dropping and simply outstanding performances by Gosling and Pitt. Where as Bullock's character may seem fresh on the surface, but scratch it a little and the clichés reveal themselves.

I really recommend this movie. Sure, it may not be A Clockwork Orange, but especially for a Sandra Bullock movie, this is refreshing and thoughtful. And again, no thanks to the "leading star".

**** / *****

Terminal Velocity (1994)

A good ride full of thrills!

[8/10 · 6 June 2004]

The bad wrap this movie seems to have here is in my opinion a bit over done. Terminal Velocity is not a bad action movie. Actually it's pretty damn good. Over the top at times, but still very good. And by over the top, I mean some of the skydiving sequences. For example, the climax where the car drops out of the plane.. the fall seems to last an eternity. In the end though, stuff like that really doesn't matter if the rest of the movie is good. Luckily it is.

This movie is also the last good movie Sheen did up until Being John Malkovich. And now after Scary Movie 3, maybe in time he'll end up back in the big leagues. Terminal Velocity won't change anybody's life, but as said, it is a good action movie.

**** / *****

RoboCop 2 (1990)

In my opinion, RoboCop 2 is grossly underrated.

[8/10 · 4 June 2004]

I love this sequel. RoboCop 3 is literally on my bottom 5 list of all time, but I don't understand what the big fuss is about #2?

RoboCop 2 has a very unique atmosphere and is loaded with top notch action. The climax battle between RoboCop 2 and.. well, with pretty much everybody else, is so awesome. Also, I simply love the design of the monster robot. It really looks extremely menacing. Sure the stop-motion effects are clearly outdated, but so what? You don't go bad-mouthing Alien's guy in a suit either.

As far as the storyline goes, there's nothing unique about it, but I do admire the filmmakers for the character of Hob. Putting a gun in the kid's hand and waisting him later in a hale of gunfire takes some balls in the commercial Hollywood. In my line of work I get to read a lot of reviews and that's the one thing this movie has been criticized. Hello people, that's the way it REALLY goes in the real world!

RoboCop 2 is simply one of the best and uncompromising sequels around.

**** / *****

Jurassic Park (1993)

An undeniable classic.

[10/10 · 2 June 2004]

I grew up watching Jurassic Park. But that's not the only reason I love this masterpiece. Like Star Wars and ID4, Jurassic Park was one of those films people went to see with their jaws dropped. They had really made these ancient creatures to come alive. Along with the likes of Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jurassic Park is in every way one of the best adventure movies ever made.

And if the effects alone aren't enough to blow you away, Jurassic Park is also masterfully directed and acted. The script is funny, but at the same time filled with nail biting suspense. John Williams' score is so brilliant and beautiful that it at times almost brings tears to your eyes. There are just almost no words! The sequels to date also work to some extent (The Lost World clearly better than JP3), but in the end they're just simply inferior to the original.

Jurassic Park is movie magic in it's purest form.

***** / *****